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Parenting
cellphones as parenting tools
okay, I have not hopped on the must have a portable dvd player for the kids thing (yes, my kids enjoy a kids show here and there at home)... and I certainly don't allow my dc to play with my cell phone.... they use it if a gp is on the phone to actually talk to them.
am I the only one who doesn't see the need? and yes, we've driven 12hr trips without a portable dvd player. :::gasp::: we talked, we sang songs, we read books, we spotted stuff out the window, we took our time and enjoyed play stops on the way. Our nephew is glued to his portable games and cell phone and ipod and barely says two words to us when he's around. I don't want my child to be like that.
am I alone in this?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: cellphones as parenting tools
Nope. We don't have a portable DVD player, Game Boy or any kind of gaming system at all. Our cell phones are for calls. I h-a-t-e video games, and DH and I decided a long time ago that we won't own an Xbox or anything like that.
We just made a long trip and didn't need the DVD player at all. We did bring a laptop with DVDs, but didn't use it.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I totally agree! I think I'm about the only parent I know who doesn't have a portable DVD player. I refuse to get one. I think kids are being passively entertained far too often these days. Whatever happened to using your imagination, looking out the window, reading a book, talking to your family? The same goes for portable games and cell phones for kids. I think kids--and adults too, for that matter--need to start living in the present moment again, instead of in some fantasy game or movie world.
We were eating dinner at a restaurant recently and at the table next to us, a father and daughter were eating. The girl was probably 10 years old. The entire time they were there, they did not say a WORD to each other. The father was looking at things on his cell phone, and the girl was playing a portable game. I'm not even sure they looked at each other. It was so sad. What a waste of an opportunity to get to know your child.
DD, 1/7/05 * DS #1, 1/25/07 * DS #2, 11/11/09
Baby #4, EDD 11/11/12
m/c 7/30/08 at 12 weeks (blighted ovum, emergency D&C)
To each their own I would say. When we lived in MD we lived a two hour trip to the nearest airport. DD screamed constantly in her carseat. A DVD player was the only thing that kept her calm. And yes believe me we tried singing, games, heck we tried everything. DH and I watch a movie on a three hour plane flight why is it not okay for DD to do so on a three hour car ride?
We also have every gaming system made. Technology is DH's thing. I knew this before I married him and Iam fine with it. We have NO intention of letting the kids play and if they do it will be for a max of 30 minutes a day. I am a firm believer of everything in moderation.
Here is the crazy thing. My DD is outside playing for probably 5 hours a day total. If she is inside she is doing crafts or playing dress up. She also watched TV. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. She has learned all her letters and is even reading basic words thanks to the shows that she watches.
Oh and to me this post comes off as pretty judgemental.
DH and I feel the same way. Although, DS uses my cell to pretend to call people if I lock the key pad-more dramatic play than anything. The only time we've used a portable DVD was on a plane ride more so to keep him from bothering all the other passengers.
My cousins kids are big into the hand held games (I don't even know what they are all called!) Last weekend we were at a family gathering and they all stayed in the back room watching movies and playing their games. DH and I found it rude, because they couldn't be bothered with people and odd because they are all boys between the ages of 6 and 11 and they didn't once go outside to play. Ugh-kids these days!
"
Ethan {1.11.10} & Malia {12.28.06}
I'm in the "to each their own" boat. We put off getting a DVD player until we went through the plane ride from hell with M (she was around 2). We bought one when we got home.
As for video games - I grew up without them, MH grew up with them. We are working on some sort of a compromise in that area.
Ditto.
On the 2 hour drives to see my parents, 1 always starts screaming, then they both start screaming. It usually lasts for an hour and IMO its worse to drive with that kind of distraction than it is to put on a DVD.
I agree with the everything in moderation rule of thumb. I'm sure my kids will play with video games at some point, dh does.. they watch tv , in moderation. I don't watch movies on planes, I read. I talk to my dh if he's present. I'm lucky, my kids don't scream their heads off in the car. But I have friends whose dc don't either and they still feel the need to buy the portable dvd player to play when just taking dc to daycare or to grandma's. one preschool mom has it on every. single. day. she pulls into the preschool drop off. I don't get it. sorry. don't get it. don't see the need in that situation. it's not for us.
not trying to be judgemental... asking if any other family is like ours... b/c we feel like we are the last to not turn our car rides into movie hour.
You say you're not trying to be judgemental, but it is coming off like you are. Just saying.
Why do you care if the other mother lets her kids watch TV in the car? Does it make her a bad mother? Does it make you supermother that you don't? This post is judgemental. Oh and FWIW my kids might watch TV, but I would rather them watch TV in the car than learn to be judgemental people by example. TV seems the lesser of two evils.
oh wah wah August. get over yourself. you think I'm judgemental, whatever. I just don't want my children to be anti-social and dependent on dvds to cope. it's not like a pacifier when newborn's soothing mechanism is to suck... it's hypnotizing a child with film to soothe them or to ignore them (in the cases of people who don't have children who scream in the car) instead of making them learn to deal with reality. my dd went through the screaming phase in the car at one point. I tried distraction... didn't work. so I ignored her screaming. It is possible to focus on driving safely while a child is screaming. she got over it when she realized she wouldn't get a reaction.
again, purpose is that I feel like the last mom on the planet who doesn't feel the need to pacify with dvds or games on cell phones. IMO (obviously) it's not a neccessity. I could care less what you do. I want to see if other's feel the same way.
I hope my dc have opinions, stick to them and don't feel the need to defend choices over and over and over again.
I think the problem here isn't that these kids have cell phones, games, dvd players etc. It's how the parents are using them. Your example of the father/daughter dinner points is out perfectly. The dad was on his phone, monkey see- monkey do. 3 of my kids have Nintendo DS's, even the 4 year old. He got his for Christmas last year. My older daughters (12 & 10) have had their cell phones for 3 years. We have a DVD system in the car, as well as a tv/dvd player in every single room, and a WII, a Gamecube, an Xbox and a Playstation 3 in our family room. We also have 3 computers in our home, and allow the kids to use them. We want our kids to be able to use the technology they are growing up with, and use it responsibly. The cell phones were initially for safety/emergencies since they walked to and from school. We did not allow them to hang on the phone, text etc and the internet is blocked. Now that they are getting older, we have adjusted their limits. But I certainly would not allow my kids to play on a game or phone during dinner, whether we were at a restaurant or at home. All the kids around here have this stuff. We just insist on making them responsible for using it appropriately. My kids are more than capable of long car rides without this sort of entertainment, cause <GASP> we talk too, and sing and take pics of the scenery etc. My kids actually play outside, unlike so many kids nowadays..Oh, I also let my girls make the 2 minute scooter ride down to Rite-Aide for ice cream.
I think that if you don't want your child to be "like that" then you should just do your job and teach them how to deal with this stuff. That's what we are here for. There are parents who buy this stuff to get out of parenting, but just because we own stuff like this doesn't mean we are too. The need exists, because of the world we live in. I am not going to be one of "those parents" who shelter their kids and then hand over car keys at 16 without giving them any real life experience.
OMG I can not believe I did not think of that, You are amazing you truly are. Your worlds best parent trophy should be on the way.