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having a really hard time accepting PP body :(

tnkrbl21tnkrbl21
in Success after IF

I wasn't thin before I got PG but I was in shape and I worked out 5 days a week and I felt good.  I enjoyed my body more day than not, but now is a totally different situation.  I gained 60 lbs during the pg and I'm now down 39 lbs.  I know that's good and I know I'm still early in the game, but it's just really hard to go out in public and not feel like a spectacle (I know it's not really that bad, but the image that is in my head is tremendous).  To make it worse my DH is pretty thin - not necessarily in great shape, but he's an average size and when I'm out with him I feel like people see him as the guy with a fat wife!  I feel like it's even worse when we go out without the babies, because at least with them there with me I have a visible excuse. 

I broke down to DH last night because he's all mushy mushy romantic (ie he wants sex) and I want to too - and we have.  Sex is not an issue; I dont mind being naked in front of him and I enjoy being with him, but I feel like he doesnt get what a difficult time I'm having with it and he just toally ignores my struggle which makes me feel like he's ignoring what my body has been through (helllooooo PP hormones). 

I love my body for what it did and I'm in absolute awe of my two boys and that they grew inside of me, but when DH shows his emotions towards me in his "sexy" way I just feel like that's the only way he knows how to show how in awe he is as well (does that even make sense??)  I tried to tell him this last night, but I'm not sure I found the right words.

I'm dieting and exercising and I'm really trying.  I guess I'm just having a down day. 

TTC#1 since Feb 07 with PCOS and mild MFI
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) Our first love and loss 7/2/07

3 cycles clomid TI = BFNs
3 cycles clomid Ovidrel IUI = BFNs
6/27/08 Surprise BFP = chemical pg
IVF#1 July 08 BFP @7dp3dt
TTC #3 since February 2010
FET Sept. and Oct. 2010=BFN's
IVF#2 June 2011=BFP

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Re: having a really hard time accepting PP body :(

  • mrsolsenk12mrsolsenk12
    I am sorry you are having a down day. I am also struggling with my body now. I still have weight to lose and I am struggling to accept my stretchmarks on my stomach. DH and I have not had sex yet but he has seen me naked and tells me how great I look but I don't see it. I think it will take time for both of us to get back to where we want to be. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
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  • efooeyefooey member
    you need to give yourself more time, it took 10 months to get that way and it will take time to get back to normal. ?I didn't do a major diet or major exercise and I was back to pre-preg weight in about 4 months. ?Don't be so hard on yourself or your body, you had a major change, if you had a car accident would you be upset with yourself for not being fully recovered in 7 weeks, of course not, same here. ?Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some time.
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  • rispergirlrispergirl
    Absolutely!!  And honestly, he will never get it.  I don't have any real advice for you except to take a deep breath and try not to think about it too much.  For me, buying a few new things I feel I look nice in really helped so that I can find something to wear when I leave the house.  Otherwise, I'm crossing my fingers that it will get better.
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  • choco_labchoco_lab
    I felt the same way around 1 month PP.  I'm still kind of bummed out because I have some wt to lose but definitely look much more "normal".  It helped me A LOT to buy some things to wear that weren't maternity.  I bought a couple of pairs of cheap jeans (in a size larger than my normal size) and some new tops.  This really helped me to feel better about myself because I felt like I looked "normal".  In a month, you will feel a lot better.  The weight DOES come off and exercise/diet can only help!  Hang in there.. we've all been there!!
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    TTC #1: IUI #2 = BFP , Betas 550 (16 dpiui), 1523 (18 dpiui)
    Hypothyroid, LPD, FSH 13.0, TTC 2 yrs B4 BFP

    TTC #2: FSH 23, AMA, IUI 1, 2, 3 = BFN, IVF #1 = MC
    IVF #2 = BFP - Betas 194 (14dp2dt), 366 (16 dp2dt), 841 (18 dp2dt)
    (vanished twin ~7 weeks)
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  • madhatter2003madhatter2003
    ditto the others...you are still so early in the process of 'recovering' your body. It'll never be the same, but it did something amazing and that's very important to remember. And it will get better. Things take awhile to 'shift' back after the baby is born.
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  • weemodinweemodin

    It will get better.  I gained 65 lbs with my twin pregnancy, and it took me 5 months to get to my prepregnancy weight.  Give it time!

    I don't look the same, but I look okay.  And there's always plastic surgery, lol!

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