trying to be tactful

Anniekins214 · June 2009

Hi all. I just found out last week that I am pregnant. I haven't had a chance to get in to the doctor yet. My husband and I did not tell anyone except our immediate families and our respective best friends; they know we're not telling anyone yet, so they all said they'd keep it quiet.

Anyway, I'm starting to get morning sickness. I was hoping it would wait until I left for summer vacation. I love my work friends, but one of them cannot keep a secret to save her life. I know if she suspects ANYTHING, she'll tell everyone. She did it to a friend of mine. When I got engaged, I told her last, so she blabbed it all over the school to people I barely speak to. (I'm a teacher; she's a teacher's assistant).

I'm willing to bet she'll figure it out, because any time I look tired or don't feel good, she asks me if I'm pregnant. How can I firmly, yet tactfully tell her that she can't say anything? I'm not trying to be a control freak, I just don't want random school employees knowing my business when I haven't even seen a doctor or told most of my family.

C12H22O11 · June 2009

If she always asks you, I'd just keep on saying "no" as though nothing was different. If you can't effectively hide your m/s, I'd tell your principal about being pg just so they don't have to hear a rumor through the grapevine...

NCMichelle · June 2009

I wouldn't tell her. Just say no!

seepstei · June 2009

You have absolutely no obligation to tell anyone you are pregnant before you are ready. I am 12 weeks and have not yet even told family. It is inappropriate for someone to ask if you are pregnant, and you should not feel any guilt in choosing to wait until further along. I had a miscarriage in the fall at 8 weeks and nothing would have been more terrible then having to deal with the disappointment of countless family and friends along with my own and my husband's disappointment.

Autumn_bride2b · June 2009

Don't tell her. People who have not been able to keep secrets in the past will not be able to keep them now, no matter what you say to her about keeping it quiet.

You really don't owe her any explanation for being ill, but you could say that you are on a new vitamin that is upsetting your stomach, or you have changed your diet, or you think you are coming down with something that you can not shake.

Luv-a-Bug · June 2009

I'd probably let a little snark fly and say "why, do I look fatter or something???" that'd probably shut her up.

Kristen0709 · June 2009

Do NOT tell her. Let her think what she wants. People like that irritate me.

seaglass00 · June 2009

Luv-a-Bug:
I'd probably let a little snark fly and say "why, do I look fatter or something???" that'd probably shut her up.

This is great. Then it puts it back on her. I would act really offended that she would ask you something like that so maybe she won't ask you again.

easjer05 · June 2009

Just don't confirm her suspicions. She can ask and speculate all she wants, but either just say 'No' or come up with another excuse, like a new vitamin or supplement, or if you are uncomfortable being dishonest, say something like, "Look, I will let you know first when I have news to share!"