Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
MrsShrek1028
member
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we had the funeral yesterday
MrsShrek1028
member
it was beautiful, i handled it as good as could be expected, but now what? i really feel lost.
Thing 1 = April 2008, 38weeks 8lbs 7oz 19in
Thing 2 = May 2009, Stillborn 33weeks 4lbs 9oz 18in
Thing 3 = October 2010, 27weeks 4days 2lbs 4oz 14.25in
Thing 2 = May 2009, Stillborn 33weeks 4lbs 9oz 18in
Thing 3 = October 2010, 27weeks 4days 2lbs 4oz 14.25in
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Re: we had the funeral yesterday
You take one day at a time. And if one day is too much to handle, then take it one hour at a time. Or ten minutes at a time..
Handle each emotion as it comes... Deal with it then, dont ignore it or it will bite you later.. Pamper yourself, do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
I found that plantiing a memorial garden was very therapeutic for me. And everyday I go out to water it, I think about Grace and pray that I will be blessed with another baby that can stay here on earth with me. (It helps me I just thought I would pass that on)
Remember that grief is an emotional roller coaster. You cant stop it or get off. You have to take each twist and turn as it comes. Eventually the ride will get alot smoother.
Im so sorry that you had to go thru this.. I can tell you that thru my experience it gets better with time. You physically and emotionally heal. But it is a process and not anything that happens overnight.
I hope that you are feeling better very soon! And if you need someone to talk to who has been in your shoes feel free to PM me anytime! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))
I'm glad the funeral was what you needed it to be.
It can be very hard when the funeral is over. Planning and getting through the service often gives us a way to focus our energy as well as an outlet for our grief. Not to mention that people are still very attentive and supportive through the funeral.?
Once it's over, it is hard to know what to do. Other people get back to normal and of course you can't. Instead you're faced with how to build this new life which includes this incredible loss. And far too quickly people wonder why you aren't "back to normal." As if such a thing were ever possible.
All I can say is be very gentle with yourself. There will be good days and bad ones, for a very long time. Know that what you are feeling is very normal and as much as you can, try not to rush yourself through it.
My thoughts are with you.?
I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure the funeral was not easy. I agree with Cowgirl's comment about taking it one day at a time or even 10 minutes at a time if needed. (she says it better than me....) There are moments where I feel like I will not be able to move on, but if I can get through them, the moments usually do not last all day. Today was the first day since I lost my baby 9 days ago with no crying. That is a milestone for me and it will get me through until tomorrow....
Good luck to you and lots of hugs.
I am so sorry! It is so difficult to know where to plant your feet next. Listen to cowgirl, and the the other girls. They has been a lifesaver for me. They will carry you when you can't do it yourself.
Hugs to you!!!
Nicole
aw, i love this, that these ladies will carry you when you can't do it yourself. def couldn't have put it better. ::hugs:: to you.
i am so sorry for your loss. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
i could not even imagine what you must be going through. i read the words of the other girls, and it sounds like they know. i hope you find some solace in their words.
i also want to encourage you, and anyone else who is going through a loss, to seek counseling if you need to. even if you are surrounded by all the love and support in the world-- from family, friends, and of course all of us here online-- it still helps sometimes to see someone who is completely objective. who can really focus on you, and what you need. it's not that they can say or do something that will magically heal you... rather, they are trained to ask questions and provide feedback that help you heal yourself. i went through a devestating loss a few years ago and went to a counselor at my college... i will never forget some of those sessions. it was very empowering.
i wish you the best.