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ArmyQM
Is your DH deployed? I get the feeling from your posts that he's not at home at least. I'm preparing for my first deployment soon and so far I'm not dealing real well. Any tips or suggestions?
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Re: ArmyQM
From a deployed person's perspective, goody boxes, e-mail, and pictures get those deployed thru rough days. Just don't send nude pics (not sure if they're censored or not in that part of the middle east). Packages are usually opened with an audiance in hopes of getting a cookie or a bit of candy.
Also, no matter how much you miss him, don't be crying on the phone or in live cam, don't write notes saying how horribly you miss him. I've watched this tear guys up, and they have keep their heads or they can get hurt. You have to be strong about the seperation.
Oh, and if he calls, try to let the little one(s) talk to him too. They miss those voices, and fear being forgot by their babies.
There is probably a deployment aid class for spouses at the CAC. Call the CAC and find out when the next one is. They can help you prepare the best.
(((hugs))) to you.
Service members & their families never have it easy.
Hi! Sorry I went to bed last night before you posted! You are correct, the hubs is deployed and has been since the end of last year so that means he'll be back at the end of this year. We're nearly half way! Of course R&R isnt until fall.....but that's enough feeling sorry for myself
Hmm, how to deal with it. It's not easy of course and you know that but I'm focusing on it week by week. Just yesterday I exclaimed "another week down!" Seriously, a week is a huge step, at least to me. DS keeps me quite busy as your daughter and the new little one will. Having your little one go his/her first year without his/her dad be there to see their accomplishments and growth is the hardest part for me. To help with that I do the monthly videos and am constantly taking pictures. I sent a picture via email to the hubby every single day along with an email detailing what we did that day even if it's the mundane about going to the grocery store. It may bore him to death but he may really enjoy the emails too. I don't know, I don't ask and he doesnt say. It's probably different every day for him (well, every week or so because that's how often he checks his email).
Are you living on post? If so, getting to know your neighbors will be key. I get together with another spouse who's husband is deployed for dinner quite often. It's never anything fancy, just whatever we'd be cooking anyway. It's nice to have the adult conversations or someone to vent to who understands.
Also, check out Meetup.com and see if there are any moms groups at Lewis. I joined one here which turned out to not really be for me but then a few people from the group did a spin off Natrual Parenting group that has been awesome!
That's all I can think of right now but I'll be sure to post more if I think of anything. Everyone takes the separation differently so maybe none of the things I do will help you but you'll find your routine and ways to cope.
Good luck! Is he headed to OEF or OIF?
Oh yeah. See if your hubby can record some videos of him reading your daughter books so you can play them for her while he's gone. The USO has a reading program that most posts do which the FRSA's generally run in which they give free books and supply the video camera so the service member can record the books.
Do you have family and friends who will come and visit? Everyone thinks that you'll want to travel all around and it's "easy" for you. I never understand why they think that and everyone is always so willing to offer to let you stay but rarely do people say they'll come visit (or rarely do they follow through anyway). Maybe you can get some people to start planning trips out to see you now since some people have to plan far in advance for vacation days.
Be sure to check into deployed care at the post daycare. Here they give 16 hours free a month and then if you go over that it's at a reduced rate and I'm nearly positive everywhere does programs like that. You'll want the break even if it's only for a couple of hours. So be sure to do the orientation far in advance of when you think you might need it. It has helped a lot not only for a break but being able to just get things done like mowing the lawn, etc.
Don't hesitate to ask for help either. Even from those people who you've met only a couple of times. Most people know what it's like so they're willing to do things to help where they can.