is this even worth posting?
someflower6
member
i'm going through so many emotions, but one that's reoccuring is... anger. i heard so many "pregnancy myths" and i believed them. i almost don't want to post this because i don't want to burst anyone's bubble... i'm sure there are pregnant women out there, blissfully unaware that the below conditions are not binding, and that they all proved false in my pregnancy. i took so much comfort in them, and i was devestated to find out these weren't true.
1) if you're feeling sick, the pregnancy is going well. if something's wrong, you'll start to lose symptoms.
i had pregnancy symptoms (perpetual nausea, fatigue, sore boobs, bloat, muscle pains, so on and so forth) every day, up until the day of the d&c. i remember feeling so comforted by that, thinking my baby was growing happily inside of me, blissfully unaware of my ailments. i was glad for them.
2) if you're spotting and it's a light brown color, you shouldn't worry.
well, maybe not. but that was exactly how it started for me.
3) if you m/c in the first trimester, it wont be devestating; it's too soon to have "bonded."
biggest lie ever.
am i missing any?
Re: is this even worth posting?
Add to this spotting without cramping! ANY spotting should be monitored by a qualified health care professional!
I was not worried about my light spotting/cramping at 6 weeks, but apparently that is when the baby's growth stopped. I know there's nothing that could have been done differently, but now I wonder if I should have recognized it as a potential sign of m/c. I am going to discuss this with my doctor at my follow-up appt.
But really, what we read are generalizations. Every pregnancy (even for the same woman) is different. We all have our varying symptoms and hope for the best. My bleeding/cramping didn't happen until 8 weeks and that's when I knew it was over. On the other hand, my doctor said that some women bleed and still go on to have healthy pregnancies. There really is no way to speculate.
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this! what about those women who have gotten pg, but can't carry a baby, or maybe can't get pg anymore for whatever reason? a loss is devastating no matter what, and sometimes people just say the dumbest things.
THIS. I am actually very angry about this generalization. My doctors office used this on me repeatedly prior to the mc. What I found out after my 2 days in the hospital and D&C, was that the fetus had stopped growing (or that the pg had been terminated) well before the hospital visit. I was supposed to be 11w5d, but the OB said that my HCG levels were way too low. Here is what gets me angry:
Spotting (light, brown, no cramping) started on 5/11. Called the office, they were not concerned and did not recommend a visit.
Went into the office for a regularly scheduled visit 5/15, but with a PA instead of my normal OB, and voiced concerns about continued brown spotting. PA did not perform ANY testing to see if the hb was still there. I told her I was going on a 5d vacation, she told me to go ahead.
Got back from vacation on 5/22 and called the office because I noticed light pink spotting. Nurses reassured me that I was probably ok because no cramping, and not bright red.
Went into ER on 5/24 with terrible bleeding and cramping. Ended up going to ER twice before D&C.
I should have been more aggressive, and I will never believe this generalization again. They may not have been able to do anything, but I would have liked a less traumatic experience, and would have like to know when exactly (or what week) the fetus stopped growing. Now I will never really know.
So sorry, really long, but I hear you!
And this! I have never tried to TTC. The baby was a surprise that we figured out we really wanted. I have been told that I have PCOS and somehow I don't think it will be really easy to get pg again. At least I am not counting on it.
Wow, I guess I was angrier that I thought . . .
yes, i understand this completely. another person posted about how they knew there was nothing that could be done at the early stage of loss, but still-- it's so traumatic to go through weeks of assuming everything is ok when it's really not.
thanks everyone, for posting. it's good to vent...
I HATE THIS ONE!!! Everyone told me this when I was going through the M/C! I wanted to scream to them that the fact i got pregnant doesnt mean crap! It was so frustrating!!
I think I will never feel "safe" again. I still keep thinking that I could lose my surviving boy at anytime. I remember the doctor saying "your 31 weeks...they are viable, now we're keeping them in just to fatten them up"...my next appointment he told me one was dead. Viable my rear end!
i'm so sorry for your loss. that must be so hard... but i am so glad to hear your son is doing great! best of luck to you