Community› The Bump Message Boards› Parenting
Parenting
New Discussion

I suck at this mom of 2 thing.

Mrs.JDDMrs.JDD
in Parenting
Seriously.  And even worse, I don't really like it today at all, and I feel horrible for saying it.  I love both of my kids with all of my heart, but being home alone with both of them at the same time is practically torture (dear Lord, I sound like mmml right now.  Please do forgive.).  I have no problem taking care of Jack and being up half the night.  The sleep deprivation is not nearly as hard this time around.  I have no problem taking care of Claire if it's just her.  In fact, I really love taking care of them individually and I'm pretty damn good at that.  Together?  Forfreakingget it.  I lose my patience with Claire constantly, I have no energy, I can't think of anything to do to keep us busy...it's just awful.  Thank goodness I'm only home alone with them two days a week.  How sad that my husband suggested tonight that perhaps Claire should start going to daycare again on Mondays and Fridays (the days she's supposed to be home with me) because this is so clearly taking a toll on me.  I feel like a complete failure.
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: I suck at this mom of 2 thing.

  • GrowingFamilyGrowingFamily

    Repeat after me: IT WILL GET BETTER!!! 

    Promise :)  Hang in there.  For me, the 3 month mark was always about when I started feeling like I was getting the hang of things after we added to our family.  I still have days where I feel like you do today, though.  It's part of being a mom! 

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • oparcmoparcm
    You are being way too hard on yourself.  You just had the baby in April.  It is only May now and it takes some time to find your groove and dd is still getting used to having a sibling.  Don't be too hard on yourself. 
    Report Reply
  • cooker71cooker71
    All I have to say is I could have written this myself.
    image
    Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
    Report Reply
  • BellisimoBellisimo
    ugh, me too.  I even dared to take them both out to Target today and it went over like a fart in church which is usually the case.  Seriously, it never goes smoothly and I usually end up wishing I had just stayed home.  Love my kids though.  It's hard...makes me realize what a cakewalk it was when there was just DS.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • babykin18babykin18
    All you ladies.  Hang in there.  I totally agree with pp, it does get better.  I was so ready to go back to work after # 2 because I felt like I sucked at being a mother and was so stir crazy, bored, fried, etc every day.  Just today I was in awe of how much easier it seems.  I can take the kids out by myself, run errands, do fun things and it is totally manageable.  But I remember when it was so overwhelming.  Once the little one can start to be entertained by the older one (giggling, watching) it makes a huge difference.
    Report Reply
  • LizLovesJasonLizLovesJason member
    I agree, you need to give yourself some time! It's only been a month....It takes a while to adjust to having 2 kids. It's not only an adjustment for you but for your DD too. I'd say by the time DS was 3 months old, both DD and I were starting to find our groove; at 6 months life got much easier as DS got much less fussy; and by the time he was a year old I felt like I had a really good handle on having 2 (most days, anyway!). You'll get through this. Hang in there!
    ~ Liz, mommy to:
    DD, 1/7/05 * DS #1, 1/25/07 * DS #2, 11/11/09
    Baby #4, EDD 11/11/12
    m/c 7/30/08 at 12 weeks (blighted ovum, emergency D&C)

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lilysmom1015lilysmom1015 member
    You don't suck. It is a huge adjustment for everyone going from one child to two. You will figure it out and things will get easier.  For us things got easier when DS was around 4 or 5 months old and could interact with DD a little more.  But for now, maybe just try to take them for walks.  Getting out of the house always helped me feel a little better. 
    Report Reply
  • LittleMamaBLittleMamaB

    It takes a while, but I promise, before you know it you will have way more good days than bad ones.

    Hope you feel better soon! Try not to be too hard on yourself : )

    Report Reply
  • AZ_EricaAZ_Erica member
    My DD is two weeks older than your DS and I am just this week feeling like we are getting the hang of it.  That being said, I still feel like DD spends to much time in the swing and DS spends to much time playing by himself, but it's getting better.  I am getting the hang of taking them out together, and they have been napping at the same time so that helps. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PoundCakePoundCake member
    I could have written this myself too.  I feel like I'm running ragged trying to keep both kids happy.  And when my oldest cries for me not to do something for the baby, it breaks my heart.
    Diagnosed with PCOS June 2004 Abby born 2/2007 and Ally 3/2009 imagehttp://Life In Sublurbia.blogspot.com
    Report Reply
  • tammiRNtammiRN

    It does get better.  It takes awhile, but it will.  Promise. 

     And some days are better than others...it took me three tries this week to get grocery shopping done with the boys.  Temper tantrums, climbing out of the cart, fighting.  I miss the days when they couldn't talk back.  Reminds me why I go to work--to save my sanity.

     Take any help you can get right now.  You are not a failure, but dealing with a toddler and a baby takes loads and loads of patience, which is in short supply when you aren't resting well.

     Big hugs to you!

    image Ian Brody March 27, 2007 & Jonah Zane April 4, 2008
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"