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Is anyone else here avoiding their friends/family with

vsackett1vsackett1 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

babies? It's sounds awful, I know. It's been so tough lately for me to be around my friend's and family members with babies. Today I took my  best friend to lunch with her 9 month old (whom I adore), and then went into the baby store with her so she could buy some wooden letters for his nursery, but then cried the whole way home. I feel like it's more painful than joyful being around them right now. I'm also supposed to meet my cousin's (who lives in CO and is flying out this weekend) baby for the first time and I don't want to go. I want to support her, it's just so painful right now. Is that selfish? *Crying*

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Re: Is anyone else here avoiding their friends/family with

  • WearingRedWearingRed member
    You are not alone! I want nothing to do with my KU friend. She was a few weeks behind me and now I don't have any desire to see her or her ever expanding belly. I not ready to deal with it yet maybe in the next month if  I can start to TTC again I will be more ready to deal but not now! You can only do what is right for you. If you're going to have a breakdown then it's not worth it. Be kind to yourself and hopefully your cousin will understand.

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  • SK1022405SK1022405 member

    No, you are not being selfish. You need to take care of yourself right now and not worry about other people. After my first loss I spent a lot time with just DH and didn't go to baby showers or around any baby's if I could avoid it. It does get easier but you really need to take care of yourself right now.

    (hugs)

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  • sunflower.17sunflower.17
    my sil announced she is pg the day before my m/c, and i've totally been avoiding her ever since. i have a couple of other friends that are also newly pg, and i just don't want to share in their joy right now, so i totally understand. ::big hugs::, someday we will all get through this, but as someone on here said recently, it doesn't have to be today.
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  • vsackett1vsackett1 member
    Thanks so much ladies, I needed that like you don't believe. My whole extended  family is driving to my aunts house to see my cousin and the new baby, and everyone (including my cousin) is expecting me to be there. I know they will understand if I don't go, I just feel bad. But you are right, this time has to be totally about me. I just need to allow myself to be "selfish", even though it's not being selfish, it's just self care and self love. Thanks so much ladies ((receiving the hugs))
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  • EJoneseyEJonesey
    I am avoiding everyone. You aren't selfish, you are taking care of your needs. Good for you!
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  • sinisterkat01sinisterkat01
    I agree with ALL of the previous posters - you are not selfish at all.  I am very impressed by your being able to go to the baby store in the first place.  Your family should understand, and if you have to, start using other excuses, like work, to avoid unnecessary visits until you are feeling better.  What is the harm?
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  • FALLENWINGZ11FALLENWINGZ11
    Take as much time as you need. You need to know that it is OK to be selfish right now. It has been about 5 months for me and it is still hard when I see my friends babies. But now my feeling of jealousy is shifting to excitment because I am TTC again. You will get there, it is just a process! A hard one though! Good Luck-- Big Hugs!
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