Long Vent: DH seems to be getting more immature
As we get closer to having #2, DH is just becoming a bigger baby every day. I know that I've caused some of the problems by catering to him too much before we had DD, but, DD's now 2 and he still can't seem to understand that I'm not able to be at his beck and call (he does admit it's a problem but when I ask how we solve it, he has no response), that I'm 9 months PG, uncomfortable and cranky, and doing the best I can to keep working, taking care of DD and him, doing most of the housework, and trying to keep it all together.
He has been doing some projects to help get us organized and really helsp out on weekends which is great, but during the week, he figures if he throws in a load of laundry and mows the lawn once, he's done his part (never mind that he's supposed to take DD to daycare daily)
I did decide to get our cleaning lady weekly (instead of every other week) when he said he didn't have time to help with the housework, but I'm this close )( to completely losing it on him.
I was so exhausted last night b/c I'd been up since 3:00 and just as I'd doze off, he'd tickle my feet or legs and wake me up. Eventually, thanks to hormones and lack of sleep, I snapped and kicked him, yelled at him and started crying, which I know is not the right reaction, but I'd had enough. Of course, he now tells me that I caused the fight; he was just trying to love me and be sweet and I had to get all violent and angry - never mind that I was trying to sleep.
UGH!!!! I so don't need this right now.
Re: Long Vent: DH seems to be getting more immature
UGH! Tell that man to love you and be sweet while you are AWAKE!!
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Are you sure we're not married to the same man?! My DH has been like this quite a bit lately too. He actually had the balls to get defensive when I reminded him that the cat box might need to be cleaned. I had to hear about how he has had to clean the cat box "every day" for the last four months, and how he cooked "every meal" for two months when I had m/s. Um, yeah, I don't really want to hear about your "sacrafices" towards this pregnancy!
ugh - obviously I don't have any advice
, but I hope you two can talk and things will get better soon!
I will gladly clone my dear husband and share him with you.
He gets up early every morning and diligently cleans the cat boxes. I'm still doing most other household chores since I'm not working, but he usually pitches in if I ask. Especially if I need him to lift something heavy, bringing in groceries, etc.
BUT, he does annoy the hell out of me at night when I'm asleep and he wants to snuggle. I need to work on not being so cranky when I'm tired!
Ugh, I would have beat him senseless. You had every right to get upset. A pregnant lady needs her sleep.
My DH tries to have conversations with me while I'm sleeping, it has gotten him raked over the coals on numerous occasions.
Bridebuddies, it's the snuggling at night that really sets me off. I can live with the rest of it, except maybe him calling to me to come to him while he sits and watches TV and I'm chasing a 2 YO. I have no patience with that whatsoever. I'm trying to change that - even he admits it's a problem, but has no solution.
He is sailing tonight so I'm hoping DD will go to bed around 8:00 and I'll be in bed right after that.
His behavior sounds borderline abusive, especially that part about him preventing you from sleeping, then accusing you of being the one who is violent and angry.
Going from one child to two really put a strain on our marriage, and I've heard other moms express that same thought. I'm not saying you'll have that same experience, but if he's already not pulling his weight - watch out. I doubt things will improve once the childcare workload increases exponentially.
My advice would be to communicate your expectations right away after your new baby comes home. Tell him exactly what help you need to be getting from him, and be very specific. I hope for your sake, he's able to man up and rise to the occasion.
I think we are married to the same man! Super sweet, but he almost lays on me at night he wants to snuggle so close. I guess there are a ton of worse problems to have, but some nights I want to elbow him in the spleen!
I use my snoogle body pillow-thing partly to keep my husband off me when we sleep. ?I admit it. ?:)?