Second threat from bf this year...
I hate him.
So ds had a dentist appt yesterday, bf called my cell phone, which was dead, I wasn't aware that it was dead, and too be honest was worried about other things besides carrying my cellphone around all day. I work from home, I have a house phone, bf knows the house number and calls it on the few occasions he decides to call his son. So because I didn't answer my cell phone he proceeds to blow up my cell phone with text messages that he is done, he is moving on with his life, going to forget about ds, don't text or call him anymore, I can take him to court if I want to but he is done. He proceeded to say, I guess I just try too hard. This from the boy who drinks and drives regularly, got two dui's in two years, rarely calls, continously skips out on helping me, has gone months without contacting ds, even when we lived within two miles of eachother and uses the excuse that he doesn't have a license as reason why he can't come down and see his son, and yet his sister, who lives in the same house, comes down every other month and he NEVER has come down with her, he can take off work for hang overs and call in sick for whatever it is that he does but he can't take a weekend off to come down and see his son who he misses so much. And of course he tells me this two days before tuition is due.
He pulled this sometime in the winter too and then when he "changed his mind" told me oh I was just mad, like I should just brush it off, Like ds is disposable and he can just pick him up and drop him whenever he feels like it.
Re: Second threat from bf this year...
He reacts like my 19 year old SD reacts. She gets mad and blows up, says hateful, horrible stuff, says we're dead to her and as soon as a few days go by...she calls like it's nothing.
I would totally not react to these messages or calls anymore. Simply tell or text him "I am sorry you feel that way. Let us know when you change your mind." and leave it at that. Don't engage him in these rages or let him know it gets to you.
It's hard. I know. But trust me...it works. Just chalk it up to your nutty ex and go about your life.
Also - protect your kids as much as you can from this. Don't let them know he's doing and saying these things.
I definately never say nasty things about him in front of ds. Whenever we talk about our family I make sure to include bf in the conversation and tell ds that he loves him. I worry too that he'll somehow see it as my fault when he gets older, or that he'll wonder what he did wrong to make their relationship the way it is. But I'm very lucky to have so many other positive influences in his life and he has so much love from me, fi, my mom, my gramma all in one house. So on one hand I'm really sad that this is what the relationship is, be we are lucky in many other ways, and as of yet it hasn't affected ds.
he sounds like a real charmer!
My friend had an ex like that and she never talked bad about him. When her son got old enough to understand no one had to tell him anything, he could see what an a$$ his bio father was. The son even decided to change his name to his step-fathers because he wanted no part of his deadbeat dad who wouldnt come see him, wouldnt pay child support but wouldnt give up rights either.