Any advice? DH wants to tell sooner

Fuzzypeaches · May 2009

I wanted to wait until Father's Day, when I would be 14 weeks.

DH is too excited and wants to tell as soon as I hit 12 weeks.

I want to tell everyone, but I am so nervous that something could go wrong and that was why I wanted to wait until 14 weeks. Plus I can't stand my mother in law and I know she will drive me absolutely bat *** crazy once she knows I'm knocked up. I was hoping to delay telling her as long as possible.

But Dh is so excited and thinks I am being silly for wanting to wait so long.

candy_mandy85 · May 2009

I have no advice, DH is spilling the beans to his family this weekend which really bugs me because as soon as his mother knows the whole world will know and then it will be on facebook and I will hate having family members find out this way.?

Dufflings09 · May 2009

I told at 7 weeks - everyone, including the boss and coworkers!

My mother gave the best advice - "You want more people praying for healthy baby - so tell them"

Mrs.Wifey318 · May 2009

We told right away. I liked giving everyone the chance to be really excited about the baby. I also know that if something happens I will need the support of my close friends and family.

Dvnah · May 2009

Dufflings09:

I told at 7 weeks - everyone, including the boss and coworkers!

My mother gave the best advice - "You want more people praying for heathly baby - so tell them"

that's a great advise, i didn't think of it that way. my hubby and i told immediate family members and our bosses. i'm thinking about just telling everyone now since we're so excited.

nicolebuchalla · May 2009

I told my coworkers early, but I wanted to wait for family until after 12 weeks. My fiance blabbed to his mom at 8 weeks, without telling me!! But we had just seen the heartbeat, so he was excited. Nothing bad happened, and it was nice to have people to be excited with. Smile

littlemaybaby · May 2009

This is such a personal decision. Do you have any big milestones between 12 and 14 weeks? Like hearing the hearbeat again or having an ultrasound. That might be a good reason to wait just to get another reassuring visit under your belt.

We are waiting until we get the results of our NT scan which will be sometime after 12 weeks (hopefully soon after).

nv2009 · May 2009

I told family a day after we found out and close friends a week later...i have ZERO regrets....especially if you waiting 12 weeks already....there is no difference at all between that and 14 weeks...

whit022109 · May 2009

there is no way i could wait 2 more weeks to tell, ive already known for 8. this is our first child and we were so excited we called our parents right away. if you are 12 weeks and have had an u/s, heard the HB, everything is going fine, chances are VERY slim that you would miscarry at this point. i am 12 weeks and my doctor said the chances of everything going well up to this point makes miscarrying about 1%. of course its an opinion, but the point is the risk is very small.?

nv2009 · May 2009

ps....just enjoy it and try not to worry so much. If you made it to this point your pretty much in the clear...whatever happens happens but you can't live in fear. Enjoy!

jennybeams · May 2009

He's excited, let him tell.

Carrot303 · May 2009

I would definitely let him tell. You have such a good chance of a great pregnancy.

My advice to all the girls on this board ... Yes, miscarraiges are common but with my first pregnancy, I was completely obsessed that I was going to lose the baby. For some reason, this board made it seem like it was happening to everyone around me. I would confide in my friends that I was so afraid of miscarrying and they were all baffled why I would even worry about it. I think it's perfectly fine to share the news (I will wait until we see the heartbeat) and definitely enjoy all the attention. Don't plan for the worst! GL!

Temp785382312506150 · May 2009

I think you both need to discuss this issue a bit more. If you both feel very strongly about when you want to tell, perhaps you can compromise.

sunnydays99 · May 2009

DH and I waited until I was 14 weeks and told on Mother's Day.

I think it's something that you both have to agree on and I disagree with the "he's excited - let him tell" philosophy. I'm pretty sure you're both excited, that's not the question - it's when you feel comfortable letting people know. You both have to be on the same page about this and have a discussion about why you should or should not tell yet.

I had a m/c prior to this pregnancy and didn't want to share our news until I was more certain that things were going smoothly.

Good luck!

P.S. Since we told on Mother's Day both of our moms have commented on how it was the "best Mother's Day gift they ever could have received" - so it was special that we told them on a day like that!

Carrot303 · May 2009

I completely agree that you should tell when you're both comfortable -- but just remember that statistics are definitely on your side at this point. You could miscarry in your 6th month but you're not likely to miscarry after this point. Enjoy it!

GershiGirl · May 2009

This is one area where I think that your DH should defer to you... It won't kill him to wait 2 more weeks if that's what makes you feel more comfortable. I agree with pp's that if you've made it to 12 weeks then you're probably going to be fine, but I can also tell you after having gone through 2 losses, it's just not the same for guys as it is for women. It just doesn't effect them in the same way and so whatever you feel most comfortable with I think your DH should respect.

naflmj · May 2009

DH can't keep his mouth shut...he will be the one telling everyone if something goes wrong.

bamagirl100 · May 2009

We are having the same issues... I want to tell as soon as we have our first u/s in two weeks. Which is actually on DH's birthday and we are going to dinner with his parents. I had thought about waiting until Father's Day but I just don't think we will get away with not drinking for long... we have lots of events coming up and I don't want our friends to figure it out before our parents know.

Plus... if something does go wrong we are going to tell them anyway. And... I like the "you want more people praying for a healthly pregnancy"

We are however going to wait until our 9 week appoitment to tell my DH's brothers.

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