Baby Showers
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How many is to many?
I told my friend I would throw a baby shower for her. Yesterday I was asking how many people she might have to invite... (20? 15? Maybe a few more???)
She said she has anywhere from 60 to 75 people....Is this a lot? I have thrown a number of showers before and have never had this many people on the guest list. Just wondering if my reaction of "Holy Cow, really" was out of line. (just kidding about the reaction.....that was what I said to myself...
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Re: How many is to many?
That's probably how many we're having at our shower. Combining two families of women has been averaging around 30 people per side, plus friends.
If you're the only person throwing the shower, then you probably should invite all those people. If someone in the family is doing something, then maybe you could invite the other side or just friends?
If you're not able to accomodate that many people, then be honest with her. I know if I had to make a smaller list I could have done it without a problem.
Ditto Roxy- thats a LOT of people. And it does NOT fall to YOU to have a huge event. That could end up being a huge expense and it does NOT NOT NOT fall to you to "have" to host that many people.
You can absolutely tell her "I can only afford to throw a shower for ___ people". She has a problem w/ that? Thta's on her. Absolutely NOT on you.
A shower is a GIFT and people do not " have" to be invited to a shower for her.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Wow, that's a lot. We only invited about 25 to mine and based on the RSVP's my mom said we should expect about 20. As a hostess, I don't think I would be able to afford to feed 75 people. That's pretty extreme, IMO.
Is there anyone else who you think may offer to help co-host? I don't know what I'd do in this situation other than letting her know that it's a bit much and she may need to cut the list down a bit.
I've done showers for 40- 50 people. I come from a big family. Maybe you should ask her how many she expects to realistically come? Sometimes people throw out a big net of invites expecting a certain amount not to show up.
But if she does expect that many to show up and that is beyond your budget make sure you say something.
BFP#1 on 02/14/09 BIRTH to Mason 6lb9oz on 10/12/09
BFP#2 on 5/28/11 EDD 2/1/12 Natural M/C on 6/13/11
BFP#3 on 1/20/12 EDD 9/30/12 Natural m/c on 1/27/12
BFP#4 on 4/23/12 BIRTH to Isabella 7lb1oz on 12/19/12
I went thru this just a while ago as a hostess.
Here's how I suggest you handle it.
This is a good friend, right?
Be honest with her. Tell her that you had in mind the kind of shower you wanted to host for her and you can afford to throw her that nice shower for about 20 people.
Tell her you didn't picture throwing such a large shower when you offered to host. You had something else really nice in mind that you wanted to do for her.
Is there anyone else who could host another shower to split the head count?
You could also add that if this is what she really wants you can try to do it for but it would have to be at a free park, minimal decorations, and minimal food.
Your finances as hostess deserve to be considered.
Be frank with her. It may be an easier conversation than you anticipate.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
For my "big" (family and friends) shower we sent out about 60 invites but I KNEW that about 20 of them were "courtesy" invites... For example, my MIL wanted to invite her sisters and mother even though they live far away and won't come, my mom wanted to invite her SIL who is very far away, etc. I invited a few very close friends who I would LOVE to have there but who probably wouldn't fly in for it. In that core group of friends we always invite (include) each other on our invites for showers and birthday parties but rarely can make it work.
So I would ask her if she is actually sending 60-75 invites out with the hopes that all of them turn up or if some of them are just courtesy invites for people who she (or her mom/MIL) wants to feel included but who wouldn't show up.
If she really expects that many people I would definitely think it would be reasonable for you to request her to scale back. Maybe you could host the "friends" shower and her sister/SIL could host a "family" shower to break it up a bit.
I am definately on your level with regard to the number of guests. However, when I helped my high school gf's mother plan the baby shower - - - I had no idea what I was in store for.
I'd say... that the party lasted btwn 4-5 hrs with anywhere btwn 175-250+ people that came in and out during that time. I mean, she had family from MA that flew down, family from VA drove up, some could only stay a few minutes but I'd say 100 or more where there for the WHOLE THING.
So - baby showers and attendence - definately a family-by-family sort of thing. I do agree with you though, hosting a party for upward of 75 is pretty nuts. I sure was glad I got to leave my gf's mother's house post-party. I couldn't imagine cleaning up all that mess!