Question for the mommies

amy0887 · May 2009

Looking back, do you think you needed people to stay at your house after your baby was born?

My mil has expressed an interest in staying with us but I really don't think it is necessary. I'm not sure what she would do. Plus, Johnny works from home and has a pretty flexible schedule. I think the two of us can handle things.

loyo03 · May 2009

I had my mom/MIL split the first week. DH had to work, so it was nice having someone there to cook, clean, and watch her while I showered, rested, etc.

SeasideBride06 · May 2009

No one "stayed with us", but I do wish that someone would've gone home with us from the hospital just to help unload and get settled in. I also appreciated my parents bringing us dinner (that we could also eat off of for leftovers) for the first few days. My mom did come the next week during the day after DH went back to work and would help do laundry and watch the baby while I took a shower and stuff. I will admit that was nice. Don't know about someone staying 24/7.

sdkrlm · May 2009

my mom came to visit for 2 weeks but I don't think I "needed" her there. it was nice though to not worry about dishes, cleaning up, having someone to hold the baby while you showered, etc. Oh I couldn't drive though... (I forget about so much). so having someone there was really nice.

the 3rd week, DH stayed home with me (worked from home).

Then... the 4th week, I was ON MY OWN - DH went out of town, mom had gone back home. I needed about an hour's worth of help every day - to be able to throw a load of laundry in, catch a shower, etc. otherwise, I was good to go.

hlw082104 · May 2009

My mom stayed with us for a week when we came home and my DH was off. She was there for a few days when he went back to working half days. I really liked my mom being there because in our case, DS wasn't eating well, and we didn't know it. He would nurse for what we thought was an hour but really wasn't eating. We didn't find that out until about 5-6 days later when he had lost two pounds. So he didn't sleep well so it was great to have my mom here to split the time we didn't sleep in thirds.

I will tell you that if you are nursing and if you are at all modest, you may want to be very comfortable with who is there. I don't have the best relationship with my MIL so I don't know that I would have felt as comfortable with her there.

allycat930 · May 2009

My mom was in the states for about 6 weeks. She still has her house about 30 minutes from mine so she didn't stay with us the whole time. She stayed 1-2 nights the first week and honestly we could have done it without her those nights. Now she and my SIL came just about every day to bring grocerys, clean my house, or bring us dinner and I honestly loved that! DH was supposed to have time off, but his boss was a jerk and kept calling him to come in...so it was really nice for my mom and SIL to come. This allowed me time to be able to nap and stuff.

My MIL and FIL were jerks and didn't call us or try and help at all. She originally said she was going to help us out, but they got mad us so decided not to speak to us. I honestly though would have probably killed her if she tried to clean my house, but bringing dinner would have been nice.

allycat930 · May 2009

Oh and Jude was a very lazy eater in the beginning and my SIL was very valuable in helping me get him to nurse. I am so glad I had her there for support.

soon2Bmrs.AGEE · May 2009

We didn't have anyone come over for a long duration but people stopped by from time to time. My mom was disabled so she couldn't really help but she did come over a few times. MIL was there often after work. That was nice. Other wise it was just me. Matt had a pretty flexible schedule and came home early a lot. I don't think you will NEED someone there but I think the help will be nice. I could have used more help but I did ok without.

njslp · May 2009

We did not have any one to stay with us. My mom actually ended up having an emergency appendectomy the night of Parker's birth, so it was a good thing we did not plan for her to come. My husband and I decided that it was our decision to have the baby, so we were going to do it on our own. We did fine. I will say, however, that my husband was able to stay home for over 2 weeks after Parker's birth, so that made a huge difference. I think I would have liked to have someone there during the day if he had not been able to take that much time off. I don't think I would have liked having people to stay over at any point. I just like having my own space.

MissLMS · May 2009

We were supposed to have my mom come visit the first week and then DH's mom was going to come the third week. DH was home on paternity leave for the first 2.5 weeks.

But, after having lots of visitors at the hospital and even more during our first day home from the hospital, the last thing I wanted was people staying with us. We had some problems with jaundice and the baby losing too much weight. The lactation consultant advised us to shut ourselves in, delay any visitors and try to have as little stress as possible while we handled breastfeeding. That is what we did, spending the first week with just the three of us. My mom and sister came to visit a week after she was born, and then my MIL came after DH went back to work.

Now I'm so glad that DH and I had some time by ourselves with the baby the first week. I was so stressed after the hospital that I just came home and cried when we had visitors that first day.

lisap_30 · May 2009

I'm late, but figured I'd add my $0.02 anyway. I think it all depends on your relationship with whoever might be coming. If you are not 100% comfortable with them and don't get easily annoyed with them, it may be helpful.

We didn't have any (overnight) visitors for the first 2 weeks. That worked well for us - it was nice to have that time of just us, since it's such a big adjustment. Hormones are raging, you're stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and sometimes you just don't want to have to deal with anyone else.

My sister came the 3rd week, and it was great having her. DH and I felt like we sort of had a handle on things by then, but she cooked for us, and helped with the baby - it was wonderful. My mom came down a few days after my sister left, and was helpful too : )

amandabrooke81 · May 2009

lisap_30:

I think it all depends on your relationship with whoever might be coming. If you are not 100% comfortable with them and don't get easily annoyed with them, it may be helpful.

Ditto!

My mom was here for 7 weeks total because I'm a single mom...but we get along really well so it was a treat for me. If it'd been anyone else, I would have been sick of them after a couple of days (because I really like my alone time!).

Simple things like having someone watch Mason while I took my shower, or a big luxury for me was my mom burping him after feedings (to this day, I don't really like to burp him because I get impatient). Of course your DH will be able to help with all of this too

Question for the mommies

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