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Parenting after a Loss
pumpkinhead06
member
I have a confession and in need of help....(long)
pumpkinhead06
member
confesson:So Jacob will be six months old on Monday (oh my!) and STILL is sleeping in his car seat next to me in my room. My dh sleeps in "his" bedroom and Jakie and I are alone all night. Most nights, I bring him into bed with me for a couple of hours just so I can get straight sleep.
I KNOW I need to put him in his crib. I KNOW it's not healthy for my marriage or my relationship with dh for my son to still sleep next to me.
I DONT know how to correct the situation. I am still bf. He still gets up numerous times a night to eat. He is really starting to show some seperation anxiety when he's away from me, and I have to put him into his bedroom.
HELP ME transition him to his crib. Should I put his carseat in his room, and then do the gradual switch to the crib. I don't know if I can do a CIO method. I did buy the ferber book, but I am so freaking tired, I can't even get through one page of it without falling asleep. I am going to make the transition to formula soon. and the school year ends on June 23rd. Should I just wait for the whole bedding situation until I am done working...this way I don't have to worry about needing to function during the day? ugh. I am so lost.
also... I am work right now, pumping. I'll check back at my lunch in a couple of hours.
thanks for any suggestion and help or similar stories so that I don't feel like such a bad mom 
Cheryl
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I have a confession and in need of help....(long)
You are a GREAT mama!!
We did a lot of co-sleeping in the early months. DD would start in her crib, and then we'd bring in her in to nurse when she woke up. It worked out fine then - except she is a whirlwind in the bed!
You can successfully transition him. And it might be easier than you expected. I completely understand on the seperation anxiety thing. But realize, it's a completely normal thing for them and is actually a milestone according to our ped.
I would say, just give it a try. He might sleep longer for you. I actually think that sometimes it's harder for us mama's than it is for them - especially if you enjoy BFing. (I have a fear of my DD weaning anytime soon!).
I'm sorry I wasn't very helpful...but I hope it goes well for you!
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I would say to tackle one issue at a time. Maybe switch to formula and then when that is going smoothly work on moving to the crib. Too many changes might make him resist everything, you know? Also, I had to sit down with my DH to work out a game-plan. Mostly he was a sounding board for me because I'm the one who has to do most of the work, but it made me feel better that he was on the same page with me and I had support.
I'm working on switching to formula, so feel free to page me if you have questions when you're ready. So far I only have advice on what is NOT working.
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It's Beshert
K slept in his carseat until 3-4 months and then in his hammock and then in our bed until 6 months. At this age, you may not be very successful in transitioning him without CIO. My SIL had the same problem and said that she finally did CIO at TWO. Within 3 days he was sleeping great in his bed. K cried several times the first night, and the second night less than 10 minutes- we didn't even have to check, and by the third was sttn.
But the first thing I would do is work on weaning. Is he 15 pounds? If so, I would seriously consider night weaning. He doesn't *need* the milk. There are a lot of methods about slowly cutting back the number of feeding or how much he gets, though it is hard to do that when you are nursing. We figured out that K wasn't actually waking up to eat, but when he would scream, we gave him the bottle, and he would take it. We were down to one feeding, so we just cut it out cold turkey when we transitioned.
You are a great mom and doing a great job. I have to run, but email me on FB if you want to talk more.
Y slept in his car seat in our room until he was 4 months. Then he moved to the swing. Finally at 5 months, he slept in his crib in his room. We were putting him in his crib to play, so he liked it and associated it with good times. I thought we might have a problem, but with the white noise machine, we were good.
If you can, can you put the crib in your room for a week or two so he is used to it and you can still breastfeed. Then move the crib to his room after that. Just a suggestion and something I was considering if our "band-aid" technique didn't work.
Good luck!
I agree with Dr. G - can you set up a pnp in your room to get him used to laying flat. Then start the transition. If you want to try is slowly, move the pnp further away from your bed each night, so he will get used to not having you right next to him. Then move the pnp into his room and finally move him into the crib.
But like people have said, it may be a lot easier then that. I hope it is!!
You are not a bad mom!
Can you try to use a bassinet right by your bed for a few weeks to get him used to sleeping while laying down? And then try to move him to the crib? When we transitioned Sophia to her crib, she was 4 months old and I put a mattress on the floor of the nursery and slept there for a few nights. It made me feel better.
Good luck with everything!
I think everyone already gave better advice than I could, but wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need support! FWIW, each time we transitioned Leo in some way (from swing to crib, out of our room, getting rid of night feedings, Ferberizing) I was scared to death, and each time it was so much easier than I thought it would be. He may surprise you. I would just go slow- take your time- and trust your instincts. You know your little guy better than anyone, and at 6 months he can communicate well enough for you to make the transition as smooth as possible.
I also think that waiting until the school year is over might be a good idea. I know for me, I wanted to wait to try Ferber until DH had a few nights he could help me out, b/c I figured it would mean a lot of sleeplessness. But ironically, it wasn't! Still, it was nice to have a "buffer" zone of a few days where I didn't have anything major going on.
GL!
Hi C- I agree with the pp here. I will tell you my experience and maybe that'll help/give you some ideas.
We transitioned DS from sleeping on me to his crib (DS was two months or so)- we rocked him until he fell asleep, put him down, and if he woke up, which he always did, we soothed him without picking him up until he fell back to sleep. This was after we'd lay him in there during the day so he was familiar w/ his crib. Also- DH always went back in to soothe him if he woke up because he knew me and my milk by scent. If I went in, he'd seem to wake up more. Around the same time we did this, we also switched to a bottle of formula at the 1-2 am feeding. Luckily, DS had no issues with eating both bm and formula (I'm only part-time nursing these days). After establishing these practices, we then (just recently) started weaning middle of the night feedings the same way we got him in his crib. When he wakes thinking he has to eat, DH goes in and soothes him back to sleep w/out picking him up. DS is pretty good about it now that I can go in now and get him back to sleep.
Sorry this is long- but let me know if you have any questions! Good luck- you're a great mom!!