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Flame free advice please... NBR

mommabarker09mommabarker09
in 3rd Trimester

FI got a DUI about a year and a half ago, before we were together. Well he doesn't have all the fines paid off yet so he has to go to court on June 12th. He doesn't know exactly how much he has to pay, but he thinks it's somewhere around $1000. I keep telling him he needs to find out how much he owes but for some reason he hasn't done it yet. He's pretty sure if he doesn't pay it, he's going to jail. (Please don't think my FI is a horrible person Embarrassed He has just made some mistakes). $1000 isn't that much, but with the economy as it is we haven't been making as much (we are servers) so we don't think we'll have the whole amount in time. There is no way in hell I'm counting on a sympathetic judge, so I am trying to think of ways to get the money. 1) Title loan. I know it's not a great idea, but we would pay it off quickly so I think it would be worth it considering it's almost guarenteed since we own our car. 2) Personal loan. I have NO IDEA how to go about doing this and I have almost no credit and his credit isn't very good so I don't even know the chances of us getting one. 3) Credit card. I have been wanting to get one to build my credit anyway, but I don't think I'd be able to get a very high limit card.

The only reason I am posting this here is because you are strangers. I know this makes my FI sound horrible, but we are kinds desperate and any advice would be appreciated.

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Re: Flame free advice please... NBR

  • leahbrazilleahbrazil

    IDk how things work in your state, but here in CA it's a lot more than $1000, not trying to scare you. Just brace yourself.

    My friend had to pay fines, pay to attend a mandatory class for 9 months, and pay a montly fee to have a breathalyzer put in her car for 18 months... it was very pricey....

    You'll do what you have to do to pay for it, he should call ahead and get sometype of scenario from someone at the courts about how much it will be and if you can set up payments.

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  • mrsrossa15mrsrossa15
    just a thought... they may have a "payment plan" I got one when i was 19 and didn't have all of the $$ and i remember having to go to the place every month and pay like 200 or something like that.. they know that you usually won't have the full amount to pay and as long as you keep paying on time they won't come and get you... good luck with everything... maybe call the police department and ask or call the da's office...
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  • ParisPreggoParisPreggo
    You need to have him call the courts asap, I'm not sure how it works in your state but you should be able to set up payments and as long as they are on time he won't have to go to jail, but I suggest trying to get this set up before he ever has to go to court. Good Luck!
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  • KacieLeighKacieLeigh member

    While I don't advocate for CC - jail is not a good option either.  Try paying as much as you possibly can, then putting the rest on a credit card or get a personal loan for the amount left.  Do not use title loan.  Their interest rates are INCREDIBLY high. 

    I would definitely try to pick up extra shifts wherever possible and save as much to put towards it as you possibly can.  The less money you have to take out a loan for/put on a cc, the better. 


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  • sherpasherpa member

    How much has he already paid in fines? He may be able to ask for an extension or make arrangements for a payment plan.

    I wouldn't try to get any loans or credit cards for this, the interest will be killer on the loans and you're right about not getting a high limit if this is your first credit card. Getting a credit card and maxing it out immediately is a very bad idea and will hurt your credit. You want to keep your balance to credit ratio under 30%. So, if you have a $1000 credit limit you don't want your balance to ever be more than $300.

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  • NewLermaNewLerma

    I know here they will let you on a payment plan. Since he's lagged, which is understandable because he was probably freaked out about not being able to pay, they might be a little harder on him. I would deffinitely go with him, just to play the huge pregnant wife card. I don't give a F I'll use this kid lol.

    What Leah was describing is partly right, my mom got one a few years ago, and it may be because she works for the Sheriff's Dept but she didn't have to have a breathelizer in her car. She only had rights to drive back and forth to work. I don't know about the insurance laws in your state either, but those may go up as well. 

    DUI's happen to the best of people, our Sheriff got one lol! I'm not condoning them, I'm just saying don't beat yourself up about it and beat into his brain to never do it again!

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  • mommabarker09mommabarker09

    He has already paid the majority of it... he knows that it's about $1000 he's just not sure exactly how much it is. He was already on a payment plan, but things have come up and he is behind on payments. We live in Iowa, but he got the DUI in Illinois. The sad part is he got it because his friend was too drunk to drive so he drove his car to his place... FI blew just at the legal limit. Not that the sob story is gonna work, I'm just saying it sucks in the first place because he was just trying to help a friend.

    We both work pretty much every single day so picking up shifts isn't an option. We don't spend money on unnecessary things so hopefully this all works out. 

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  • mrsrossa15mrsrossa15

    i think it depends on the situation and if you have had previous alcohol/drug related incidences.. but i didn't have to have a breathalizer or anything I had the option of taking a alcohol class or going to alcohol counseling.. i choose the alchohol counseling because my insurance paid for it and i also had to pay a 700 fine or something to that effect... i also didn't go to court because i hired a lawyer... i'm sure everything will work out for you and your FI and definitely go with him so they see that he has a family and is being a responsible member of the community now...

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  • Josh & CalendiJosh & Calendi
    imageleahbrazil:

    IDk how things work in your state, but here in CA it's a lot more than $1000, not trying to scare you. Just brace yourself.

    My friend had to pay fines, pay to attend a mandatory class for 9 months, and pay a montly fee to have a breathalyzer put in her car for 18 months... it was very pricey....

    You'll do what you have to do to pay for it, he should call ahead and get sometype of scenario from someone at the courts about how much it will be and if you can set up payments.

    Was that for a first time offense???
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  • leahbrazilleahbrazil
    imageJosh & Calendi:
    imageleahbrazil:

    IDk how things work in your state, but here in CA it's a lot more than $1000, not trying to scare you. Just brace yourself.

    My friend had to pay fines, pay to attend a mandatory class for 9 months, and pay a montly fee to have a breathalyzer put in her car for 18 months... it was very pricey....

    You'll do what you have to do to pay for it, he should call ahead and get sometype of scenario from someone at the courts about how much it will be and if you can set up payments.

    Was that for a first time offense???

    Yep, she crashed and was more than double the limit. It was not good.

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  • Josh & CalendiJosh & Calendi
    imageleahbrazil:
    imageJosh & Calendi:
    imageleahbrazil:

    IDk how things work in your state, but here in CA it's a lot more than $1000, not trying to scare you. Just brace yourself.

    My friend had to pay fines, pay to attend a mandatory class for 9 months, and pay a montly fee to have a breathalyzer put in her car for 18 months... it was very pricey....

    You'll do what you have to do to pay for it, he should call ahead and get sometype of scenario from someone at the courts about how much it will be and if you can set up payments.

    Was that for a first time offense???

    Yep, she crashed and was more than double the limit. It was not good.

    Oh ok. I was thinking that I heard the laws had changed on the fine, but not that much on everything else. Fortunately she got out of the situation just having to pay a fine, doing the classes and having a breathalyzer in her car.?
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  • LiebeMamaLiebeMama member
    No flame intended. Have him call the court and find out how much it is (maybe he is procrastinating afraid to hear how much it actually is). Also, If you are low income, try asking the courts for a court appointed attorney aka public defender. They know the laws and options like the back of their hand and they should be able to provide you with options you didn't know you had.
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  • mommabarker09mommabarker09
    SOOO... we just got into an argument about all this... which doesn't help matters at all... but apparently he has no way of finding out how much he owes without going to the courthouse, which he doesn't want to do until his court date in case there is a warrent for him or something. I don't understand. I'm pretty fed up right now. I love him and want to help, but I didn't sign up for this shiit. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR this is sooo not like him!! Basically there is nothing we can do but try to pay as much money we can when he goes to court.... if I don't kill him by that time. I never thought I would ever have to go through something like this...
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  • mommastemmemommastemme

    imagemommabarker09:
    SOOO... we just got into an argument about all this... which doesn't help matters at all... but apparently he has no way of finding out how much he owes without going to the courthouse, which he doesn't want to do until his court date in case there is a warrent for him or something. I don't understand. I'm pretty fed up right now. I love him and want to help, but I didn't sign up for this shiit. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR this is sooo not like him!! Basically there is nothing we can do but try to pay as much money we can when he goes to court.... if I don't kill him by that time. I never thought I would ever have to go through something like this...

    You poor thing!  I really hope that everything works out for you guys with this situation.  Keep us updated!

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  • BlackvelvetBlackvelvet member
    Do you have anything you can sell?  I have been selling all of out stuff on craigslist since I lost my job and can't find another one.  I have made about $300-$500 a week it does take some effort to post all the ads and respond to interested people but it is saving my butt as far as paying the bills.  I'm about out of stuff at this point though so my income is dropping.
    Me DOR amh .64 ng/mL  
    DH Brain Cancer
    BFP #1 12/11/08 DS born 8/23/09
    BFP#2 10/13/11 DC 11/4/11
    BFP#3 12/6/13 Lost 12/29/13
    Told IVF is the only option and have not found a clinic that will take me.



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