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Working Moms
work outside the home & schedule w/ newborn multiples
I have to go back to work in 2 weeks and my twin boys will be only 10 weeks old (and they were 4 weeks early) They eat every 3 hours and sometime it takes 1 1/2 to 2 hours to get them both fed/changed and settled back to sleep. My husband and I have no clue what we are going to do...everytime we try to come up with a scheudle, one of us is only sleeping 2 hours a night.
I will be out of the house 7:15 am until 5:45 pm. A woman is coming to the house so thankfully I won't have to do drop-offs and pick-ups and daycare packing which I know will save a lot of time but I still can't wrap my brain around it. how will we take care of the boys (feeding/bathing etc) feed/shower/sleep ourselves??
Please tell me your schedules or any tips you have for how you handled it - I am so stressed about this!
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Re: work outside the home & schedule w/ newborn multiples
Personally I would consider hiring someone (a night nurse), or utilizing someone (a friend or relative) at night, or part of the night until they can sleep through the night.
Or, does your state offer FMLA protection for more than 12 weeks. TN has an additional 4 weeks-most people don't know or utilize that protection. If it is feasible it may also be advantageous to wait another few weeks before beginning work. Your circumstances are very different from most people.
Mine slept through the night around 10-12 weeks and I went to work at 12 weeks, but your sweet ones came early (and lighter) so it may be a few additional weeks for you before that happens.
It is very dangerous to be driving with that little amount of sleep, I know from experience. Once they sleep through the night the schedule is tight but it is much easier to deal with-driving is much safer. I wish you luck.
The state has its own 16wk maternity leave act, so it runs tandem with FMLA and then extends another 4 weeks.
I had to go out early on bedrest and they started my fmla clock then. I begged for an extension but I work at a financial firm so I have to be thankful to at least have a job to go back to.
we are doing shifts right now and mine also starts at 2:00 am but smetimes there is no sleep all night if one or both babies wont sleep.
I know it will get easier at some point but as the pp said - sleep deprevation is already brutal and I dont have to leave the house yet.
Thanks for the help!
are you sure the bedrest counts against FMLA? I would double check that - here your family leave clock/FMLA doesn't start until after you have the baby - if you're out ofn bedrest its just regular STD.
When my boys were small DH and I would both get up at each feeding. It sucked - no bones about it - but at least we got a couple hours of sleep pieced together over the course of a night.
Unless you can afford overnight help or have relatives who can help, you may just have to muscle through it for now. I know help is expensive but don't feel like you need to hire someone five or seven nights a week. Even having someone help you a couple nights a week would give you a much needed break.
I know sleep training is highly controversial on this board but I'll throw this out to you. Once your kids are eight weeks old (adjusted) and weigh at least nine pounds you can start Suzy Giardano's method. She has five kids, the last two are twins, and she developed this self soothing method as a matter of survival.
https://www.babycoach.net
It won't help you right now but it might give you the feeling of light at the end of the tunnel. I can tell you that once my boys were STTN at three months all our lives changed for the better.
Those first few weeks with multiples are hard - AND you are going back to work as well. It will help a lot if you can find a way to let others help you.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
Get a maid if you can afford it (or if your nanny will not be doing any chores) or send laundry out (again unless you can pay nanny extra or something). Washing and prepping bottles (which hopefully your nanny is doing) and laundry were the biggest time sinks for me early on.
It won't be long before they are sleeping through the night! I like PP's idea of splitting up the night shift with your husband.
The most important thing you can do is work together and be flexible. It can be exhausting but is totally do-able.
Thanks for all of your encouraging words and tips on how to survive - I will try to utilize many of them. And just reading that others have done it and lived has helped calm me down.
I don't have multiples, but I do have 2 kids and work full time. Here are just some of the various things I've found helpful...
- Stop bathing the kids every night. They don't NEED it AND it frees up time (when they get older, have them shower with you - I do this often with my 3 year old DD)
- Utilize the crock pot for meals and always cook enough to get 2 (or even 3) meals
- Try to outsource what you can afford (even if temporarily); perhaps consider asking the women coming to your house if she would do some extra things for some extra money (e.g. preparing dinner, laundry, cleaning house, etc). My friends nanny bathes her kids, so perhaps that is an alternative if you feel strongly about having this done.
- Figure out what you can let go of for a while/reduce your expectations (for example, I like a really clean house, but it is unrealistic to maintain, so I concentrate on the kitchen and family room, other rooms get cleaned every 3-4 weeks)
- On bottle parts, buy LOTS of extras so they don't have to be washed every day
- Follow up to previous point, use the dishwasher (with #1 I did the hand washing and boiling all the time, however with #2, I boiled at the very beginning and just throw everything into the dishwash - 9 months and never had an issue. This includes the bottles, nipples and hard bottles I use daily to store breastmilk.
No matter what, you will get through!