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jamie4duke
member
Ok flame away if you find it necessary!!!!
jamie4duke
member
I don't know if I should be mad or not, but I am mad, so whatev.
Ok when DH and I were picking our bridal party, I asked my SIL to be a bridesmaid, and DH picked his brother as a groomsman, because his parents (who are divorced..not that matters) basically told him that they should be involved. And we had DH's nephew (who is SIL's son from a previous relationship) as ring bearer. I didn't want him as ring bearer, but again, we had to keep the peace, and I had to just deal with it. I didn't mind SIL and BIL being in it, because they are his siblings, and it ended up being fine with the ring bearer. The boy I wanted wasn't our nephew (he was my cousin's son), so yeah.
Background note, one of DH's groomsmen, M, was married once before, and DH was his best man. M is marrying my SIL, whom he met the day before our wedding at the rehearsal dinner. They got drunk at our wedding and proceeded to have sex.
Fast forward to about 30 minutes ago. SIL asked me to be a bridesmaid. I said yes. Then I find out DH isn't even in the wedding, which is fine, but then I find out that SIL has two junior bridesmaids and a flower girl, neither of which are TEagan or Kelsey, who are her ONLY nieces. She is having her friend's kids. ALL OF THEM. The boy is a jr groomsmen.
I am just mad because she has two nieces. I am not saying both of them should be in it, but she is having someone totally unrelated in it over them. And I feel like I was asked out of obligation.
Oh, and just to add this, she didn't even give us a card for our wedding. Neither did MIL. And they didn't help decorate or take down anything. Not saying that is a requirement, but most parents help in any way they can, but not MY mil. (I know, Mrs.L, my MIL doesn't come close to your whackadoodle MIL but she still pisses me off).
The whole thing just really hurts my feelings. I have always felt like MIL prefers nephew over my kids...it has been obvious in so many ways, including this past Monday, which I don't think I even posted about. I dont' care if I am in the wedding, or if DH is. But to give our kids the shaft, when that's all they have been given, EVER? That pisses me off to another level.
GRRRRRRRRRR. I know I am probably being dumb, so flame away. I can take it!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Ok flame away if you find it necessary!!!!
Not flaming you, but it sounds like your MIL was the pushy one for your wedding and maybe your SIL didn't know that your MIL insisted that you choose family for the wedding party.
You MIL acting like she prefers your nephew is sucky, but I ahve noticed that sometimes people are closer to their daughters kids than their sons kids.. My MIL couldn't care less about my own DD so I feel for ya.
W (02/2009), N (08/2012), and C (04/2014)
Think of it this way, at least you don't have to pay for a dress and do all the fittings and rehearsal crap. Besides, who really cares, the kids won't remember it at all later on if they were in the wedding or not.
Family "drama" only exists when you participate in it and perpetuate it. Did you really expect them to treat you any differently? Why do you care what they do in the first place? There is so much crap all the time in my mom's side of the family because all they do is create more of it. I just don't care so I never get involved and somehow they all still speak to me, even if they don't speak to each other.
I would be mad too. I think you have every right. But, as pp said one good thing is you don't have to buy the outfits.
When DH and I got married MIL told me DH's 2 sisters were going to be bridesmaids. I didn't have much of a choice. Now SIL is planning a wedding (they aren't engaged yet, but she is talking about the wedding) and she is wanting me to be a BM, but DH hasn't been asked to be a GM which I think is weird. He is a family member and I am technically not. KWIM
I can definitely understand being upset. No flames from me.
::::hugs::::
This is exactly what I wanted to say, only you said it a million times better!!!?
To be honest...I was expecting something more juicy.
Eh... like Megs said just be glad that you don't have to buy a dress for your kids. I also probably would have said No to being in the wedding.
This.