Coworkers...how do u deal?

Aimee810 · May 2009

I am currently 17wks PG. At 14 weeks we were diagnosed with fetal hydrops -edema on her belly- so now I am high risk (besides my age and IVF). I have Dr appts every week to monitor baby's development with the edema. One of my coworkers "accidentally" sent me an email that said "Even Nila is getting annoyed w/ Aimee and that takes a lot..." Well, Nila knows what is going on with my baby so I'm sure she was "going along" with the group. I was out yesterday because I was having some cramping on Monday (holiday) and could not get into the perinatologist until yesterday. The on-call person Monday said to stay off my feet and see the peri Dr on Tuesday. I am trying to be a bigger person and not let them get to me but I am sick of this! My vacation and personal days are my own business and my boss -who has not said anything and know my situation. I want to reply back to this email, "May I ask what this is in regard to?" But the other half of me is just like, ignore the pettiness. They are also ticked because I had a baby last September (IVF) and was off 8 weeks and turned around and got PG again (IVF) in February so I will be on maternity leave again this year (if the baby makes it).

janjag · May 2009

wow, i don't know how i'd handle that. is it appropriate to pass this on to your boss and have her handle it? if this woman is e-mailing all the ladies in your office about how annoying you/ or your time off is... maybe it's time for your boss to inspire her employees to have a little grace and understanding (without giving up your private business of course). but i don't know the dynamics in your office... if it would just make things worse.

but, yay for you and your IVF miracles! wishing you and baby on her way the best!!

and since when does doing IVF mean your maternity leave is less deserved?!

kamcfarlane · May 2009

i'm so sorry your co-workers are being awful! i had a similar situation - i switched jobs within our organization at the beginning of my 2nd trimester. i was gone for a couple of weeks for training and gone for a week for vacation. immediately after i got back we had our 20w u/s and found out i had a previa. i had some bleeding episodes and was on/off bedrest for the next 12w. we have the option to work from home, but my manager was trying to take that away "because i switched positions" (cough cough because i was pregnant cough cough). i got a lot of rude comments and questions and overall no one was very nice. until i had DS at 32w6d. it was like they suddenly understood that i wasn't just being difficult - i really was in a dangerous situation.

try as hard as you can to ignore them. it's not worth it. what's important are your LOs and your health! good luck with everything!

Flyswmer · May 2009

Wow, that's just awful. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I'm not sure how I would handle that. I would be pissed and want to reply but what good would that do? If you are not affecting their life and their work it's none of their business what you do! I would just worry about what your boss thinks. If you are satisfying him/her then that's all you have to worry about.

((((HUGS))))

Aimee810 · May 2009

Thanks for the input ladies! My boss has never mentioned anything about my time off except that we accrue it each paycheck and he warned I may have to go to "unpaid" status if I get too far in the negative -which I don't care about- my only goal is taking care of this baby. This is a medical condition, its not like I'm playing hookey or something. Why can't people mind their own business?

mrsjrmiller · May 2009

I can totally relate. I had my son last March at 27 weeks. I ended up taking 6 months off because the regular leave ended the same time he got out of the hospital. I finally went back to work in Sept. My son had A LOT of doctors appointments, due to his prematurity and he has therapy - so I worked something out with my boss so I could be with my son when necessary. I ended up pregnant again in January (waited till March to tell work) and am staring at the possibility of bed rest... I KNOW I am annoying people... but it is none of their business. I have talked at length to my HR dept about how my son and unborn daughter will always be my top priority and she agrees. I try to be fair and work from home some or extra when possible... a few people have made snide comments and I mostly let them slide but I have said a few things back... I once said, I promise you - I would rather work all the time than have a 27 week baby again and watch her struggle in the NICU... yeah, I have it sooo easy... If I had an email that was proof of my coworkers saying that, I probably would ask my boss to deal with it... but you are also the bigger person for even wanting to be the bigger person!

Aimee810 · May 2009

Oh wow! My coworkers would have a hay-day with your situation! I am probably looking at a preemie with Bridget too. I am hoping since she is otherwise fine, except for the edema on her belly, we can drain the fluid until we get her to a viable stage (28 weeks?). I am discussing it with OB today. He will say its up to peri Doc though. I just need to know what my options are and have a goal.

I agree, I would MUCH rather work all the time than worry EVERY day about the fate of my unborn child. People like that act like we've done this on purpose to get out of working. GROW UP!!! {yes, still a bit bitter...}

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