BM Watched My Kids Last Night!
Saran
member
Either I lost my mind or we've come a long way. DH informed me that he planned a special date for us and his ex-wife said she'd watch all the kids. We get along but I'm a boundaries woman and fiercely protective of my girls when it comes to step family issues & interaction. I would rather my kids know BM from afar but my stepkids are so close to the girls they want them apart of their life at their moms house as well. So.......I gave in. I figure she trust me with her kids every week so the least I can do is trust her with mine for a couple of hours. Not to mention the fact that if anyone knows how to handle twin toddlers it's a woman who has twins of her own.
I was surprised that my girls didn't even know we left and didn't cry a tear. They had so much fun and didn't want to leave. I was a little annoyed when they kept running to her for hugs and wispered "traitor" to one of em as they ran by. LOL The older twins were so excited to show their sisters their room and toys and BM refused to take any money. She said, "hey, we're family". I don't know why but it bothered me at first cause I thought, no we're not. Your kids are family but you're not. I was quickly reminded that yes, we are family. Whether I like it or not, she is their mother and that makes her family. In the end, I was proud of myself for putting all the past hurt aside and know that we've come a long way. She offered to watch them anytime, and I think we'll take her up on it.
Re: BM Watched My Kids Last Night!
Im glad that you had a night alone! Everyone needs that and as long as the kids were happy, that's all that matters. I have in the past watched DF's gf's kids for them before (when he and i were getting along and he wasn't a farknut) However, I do have to admit it was for selfish reasons tho....She had a son that was only 6 wks old and I wanted my baby fix and I wanted to see how DD would react to having a baby in the house.
I'm happy that things worked out for you!
RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
BM offered to watch my dog while we went on vacation-ummmm not a chance inhell. I have a feeling I would have come home to a "lost" dog.
wow. thats great.i wish ss bm was a decent person. i could never imagine leaving my daughter with bm. afterall, my ss lives with us for a reason. he he he.
I know it isnt quite the same, but my SS's BM babysat for mutual friends so they could go out to dinner with DH and me. This was before DH and I got married....this was the first time I was meeting these friends of his ( and his ex-wifes)
You're amazing... much better person than I.
Our BM can barely handle SS sometimes, and I think she's made some very questionable choices for his care at times, so I could never trust her with my kid- I, like you, tend to be fiercely protective. More power to you-- I am glad you were able to get your twins and your SC together, and that it was more bonding time that they had together.
I came from a family where I lived with mom and step dad ("dad") since I was 6. My biological dad ("father") was around, and tried, but not really too hard at times. The friction between mom and "dad", and my "father" was so incredibly thick, I was literally a tug of war rope in between them. NO ONE made an effort to get along.
When my husband and I got married, I vowed to NEVER EVER put his 2 daughters in that situation. Not EVER. Their mother and I get along very well... as well as can be that is. And she and I will absolutely have the type of relationship where she would watch my husband (her ex) and my child one day.
It is SO important to be civil. If you are able to be MORE THAN civil and actually co-exist in a way where it has the feeling of a really big extended family, the better the kids will be off in the long run.
Good for you! You should be proud of yourself for "allowing" this type of closeness. Speaking from experience as a child, this will absolutely help in the long run. I can only say I wish when I was a child, my parents had thought enough of the situation to do so, as well.