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Trying to Get Pregnant
why is getting pregnant so hard?? (vent)
so TTC month 10 is knocking at my door today, and i don't want to let her in. This morning i've had my first meltdown. We did the "just see what would happen" for 4 months and then started charting in Jan. i'm really struggling with feelings of "why is it so hard for me to get pregnant??" I don't get it...I'm young, vibrant, healthy, "regular" cycles...every girl my family gets pregnant just by looking at their husband..etc.
well...what sent the tears flowing this morning, is when i got a call from my best friend (who started trying for #2 - this month), sharing her joy that she just POAS and it was +. We ovulated on the same day this month.... and i just re-read an email she had sent last week saying how "awesome it would be if we both got pregnant this month". ugh. I tried sooooo hard to express on the phone how genuinely excited i am for her. but inside it hurt. i tried so hard to hold back my own tears. but they broke through the phone. ugh. i feel so selfish and rude. why can't i be the most excited best friend on earth for her - just like when i found out she was pg with #1???
about 5 min. after we hung up the phone. i see an email from my co-worker annoucing that she's KU and 12weeks along. They decided to start "not using protection" in march. and well...bam...the first time w/o protection and she's KU!!
Why does it seem soooo hard to get pregnant....when for others it's "first try"? i'm sooo tired of going month to month seeing a "perfect chart"...only for the temps to drop and spotting started. i just don't get it. and it's starting to wear on me.
i know you girls don't have the answers. i dont expect them. i just needed somewhere to vent. thank you girls so much for listening.
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Re: why is getting pregnant so hard?? (vent)
I am so sorry. ::hugs::
Always here to listen. ((hugs)) to you.
I'm sorry
I know exactly how you feel.. we've been actively trying (charting, opk's, etc) since October with nothing so far and I ask myself the same thing every day. I had a meltdown a couple weeks ago too after a good friend of mine called me with news she was pregnant. Another good friend of mine at work got pregnant the month before they were to start trying. It's ok to have mixed feelings of happiness for them, but sadness that it hasn't happened to you yet - so don't feel guilty for feeling that way.
Have you thought about taking a break from charting? I haven't charted the last few months and while it obviously hasn't worked, I'm feeling a lot less stressed each month about TTC.. Either way, hang in there.. I won't say "it will happen when it's supposed to happen" because I don't like when people say that to me, but I will say don't give up and try to focus on all the other positive things you have going for you.
(((Hugs))) You are more than welcome to vent here and it sounds like you have a great deal of reason to be frustrated with all of those "I'm pregnant" announcements around you.
I just wanted to know you are far from being alone in just wanting to be pregnant already. I haven't been trying for too long but I am so stressed between my neurologist, my MS, and trying to wean my son and him not having it.
I'm sorry, honey. We're always here for you to vent.
::hugs::
so sorry. GL next cycle.
((hugs))
dr. has nothing to say but "let me know when you get to 12mo...and i'll refer you to an RE".
I'm sorry you are going through this. You time will come soon I hope. Maybe this will be your month.
It's okay to break down every now and then. I feel better after a breakdown from holding it in so long. Don't chart this and maybe next month, it should relieve a bit of stress for you.
GL!
My Chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/28017b
TTC #1- 3 failed rounds of Clomid/ Surprise Natural BFP w/weight loss- 9/22/11 DD 5/12
DX. Dec '09 w/ Inappropriate LH Secretion Syndrom/PCOS/ Anov 28 months
(Former username: xxbblueangelxx)
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel.
I'm sick of people asking why we don't have kids, of them telling me my best friend is "ahead" of me since she has a one year old - it's not a competition. Then I get to see so many people have it happen on the first try. Now a really good friend is starting and thought she knew everything (by using the online ovulation predictor) and when I emailed her back I got the equivalent of an open mouth - jaw on the floor. Yeah - so many of us have been at it for a while with perfect timing and no pregnancy. It just sucks and hurts and this is a great place to vent.
{{{hugs}}}
Thank you IVF for our little miracles!!
This is a great idea. You know... I had long cycles for months (I mean 80 days, 62 days, 93 days) and then I decided to stop charting and had a similar meltdown as you back in February and don't you know. It was the first month that I had a normal cycle, 32 days. Not sure if I O'd b/c I wasn't charting but the next cycle I know I O'd. Sometimes the stress can really affect you. It definately did for me. Again, I am really sorry. And don't even be worried about reaching out for support here.
I'm sorry you feeling down. I can totally understand how you are feeling. Everybody around me also seems to be getting pregnant fast. I started trying before my best friend, and when she told me she was going to start trying we got very excited about the idea of being KU together. Well, she got pregnant right away, and I'm still trying. I also have "normal" cycles but it's not happening for us either. I'm on cycle 9 by the way.
Just wanted to tell you you are not alone. There are many of us here in a similar situation as you. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. My BF and I started trying in Nov. Now she's 5 months pg with her 2nd and I'm helping her pick out boy names.
I wish I had some great advice for you. But I feel really defective right now. And I'm starting to think my mood swings are a sign AF is right around the corner.
At least we all have each other!
ugh. yes. this will be me with my BF very soon. As well as with my other good friend who is now 9 weeks along.
i'm still holding out hope for you this month girl!!!
Hi hun,
Just wanted to write and say I am sorry about your day so far. I know how it can be hearing the news from friends after you've been trying without success. I think it's completely normal to be bummed, and it doesn't mean you are a bad friend to her. It just means you have been through a lot and have emotions just like everyone else.
Big hugs to you.
I am so sorry and I know how hard it is. Although I do not have perfect charts and cycles, I understand the feelings that you feel of friends/family members getting pregnant so easily. It sucks. It really does.
I am really glad that I went to an RE though. I found out what the problem was right away and now we move forward. I wish you luck and hope your BFP is soon!?
I've only been at it for half as long as you and I know there are many that have been trying for longer than a year but I don't think its ever easy, I have found that some months are easier than others. Its not easy seeing so many people pregnant so easily or with an opps knowing its something you want so badly but keep getting denied month after month.
((hugs))
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1ae8.aspx[/img][/url]
to the person that said this:
"I'm sorry you're so sad. Just keep your chin up. As soon as you stop obsessing it will happen. I promise. Stress is a huge reason you're probaby not conceiving yet. Maybe try pracitcing meditation. Your mind is a powerful thing. As soon as I stopped worrying I got pregnant with my son. I've been exactly where you are. take a break. Get a massage. Go on a weekend gtaway with you hubby. And stay positive.<a href="https://global.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers"> src="https://global.thebump.com/tools/tickers/tt24e55.aspx" alt=" Trying to Conceive Ticker" border="0" >
I can't quote you cuz the formatting but really this isn't the best thing to tell someone who is venting about not getting pg. you say you've been where she is but I have a hard time beleive that just becuase you stopped owrrying your got pg. yes stress can really mess with cycles and taking a charting break can be helpful in reducing soem of the stress, but really telling soemone to basically "relax, I did it and I got pregnant" is just not helpful.
bride2be.austin - I am where you are right now. I got nailed in the head with 2 pg announcements this weekend, both of whom I'm happy for, but both started trying after me and it's hard to express my happiness when my heart is filled with so much sadness. they both know we're trying and they're not rubbing our noses in it or anything.
We're doing everything "right", I'm ovulating, have fertile CM, we have done it every other day,every day, we're not missing the fertile window, it's been over a year (but 12 cycles) and nothing.
So our plan of attack is to not chart for the summer and if we're in the same spot we're in right now in the fall we'll start testing.
Good luck, and you're really not alone. There are others who were exactly where we are and they got pg, some with medical intervention, some without. either way, they are pg, and we will be too!