I had no idea what to say...

chile_chicken · May 2009

Last night I went to DH's friend's house for a pizza and poker night. One of his friend's girlfriends and I went to school together and so have mutual friends in common. About an hour into the evening she asked me if I knew that our friend Ben's wife was pregnant, then started on a rant about how pregnancy is destroying the eco-system and that people shouldn't get pregnant as it is irresponsible. The she just looked at me and said "wait.... are you pregnant" and then started asking why I was not drinking (everyone else was). I couldn't say anything and just sat there but DH came to the rescue and said I wasn't drinking because I had work in the morning and are saving for a house (both true). Then the rest of the night, everyone was joking that I was pregnant and saying they would hit me in the stomach to get rid of it. I was so shocked and embarrased but I had to pretend that I wasn't pregnant because we haven't even told our family yet!

How would have you reacted in this situation? I am not sure if I should laugh it off or be angry. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to ask what you all think.

katmurph · May 2009

wow, I would have got up and left. I guess they are going to feel pretty stupid when they find out you are pregnant. No way would I ever hang out with them again.

dogmommy4now · May 2009

My jaw dropped reading that! I don't know how you stayed there and acted calm the rest of the night = I would've definitely lit into that chic. Babies are ruining the eco-system...hmmm. I would've started drilling her on how "eco-friendly" her non-baby lifestyle was. Then again, I probably wouldve been too shocked to think straight. Props to you for not letting your hormones turn that into an uncomfortable situation. I don't think my big mouth could've done it!!

MissyC979 · May 2009

Wow, that was really rude of her. I would have wanted to say something to make her feel embarrassed. Realistically, I probably would have stayed quiet or left early. What jerks!

snsgurl728 · May 2009

It's going to be so awkward when they find out you are expecting!

I don't think there's a right way to act in that situation, but I would be pretty upset.

Fuzzypeaches · May 2009

I think you need new friends because they sound like total Assholes.

And if someone asks me if I am pregnant, I look at them with wide eyes and say ..."Why? Do I LOOK pregnant?" then they usually feel really bad.

Or I say "What makes you think that?" and they have no response. They can't say "You look fat" unless they are total assholes, although your jerk friends probably would say that.

Sassystace · May 2009

Nice "friends" you have. I'd hate to meet your enemies!

That's pretty bizarre IMO. I would be shocked and angry at their absolute immaturity.

Temp6313048411121614 · May 2009

Wow. IMO you guys need some new friends. Joking about hitting you so you'd m/c is sick and twisted and not even a little funny (I don't care the setting/context, that's NEVER funny). Sorry to be so harsh, but WTH is wrong with the people you hang out with? Were they dropped on their heads as babies?

jenny1980 · May 2009

Fuzzypeaches:
I think you need new friends because they sound like total Assholes.

And if someone asks me if I am pregnant, I look at them with wide eyes and say ..."Why? Do I LOOK pregnant?" then they usually feel really bad.
Or I say "What makes you think that?" and they have no response. They can't say "You look fat" unless they are total assholes, although your jerk friends probably would say that.

CMDR513 · May 2009

Wow!

MilesOfSmiles · May 2009

What funking a$$holes, that's not funny, no matter WHAT the context. What kind of people do you hang out with who would even THINK such a thing, let alone say it out loud? I'd have left that room and never go back.

chile_chicken · May 2009

They are all DHs friends apart from this one girl. What really peeved me off was that later she was going on about how excited she is to fly to Singapore in the new airbus plane. Hmmm, that's eco-friendly?

We were the first ones to leave anyway, hubby could tell I was upset but he said to me he didn't want to tell his friends anyway as they would just make jokes about it. All the others in that circle hate the idea of marriage and babies, and all still go to uni or have part time jobs so do whatever they want. I have a feeling we may be growing out of their circle, which is fine by me!

I am going to love hearing their reactions when they find out I actually am pregnant, I hope they apologise.

easjer05 · May 2009

I know some people do feel very strongly about having children (or not, as the case may be) and the effect on the environment, but why anyone would ever think it appropriate or funny to joke about physical violence to cause a miscarriage is beyond me.

Luv-a-Bug · May 2009

If they don't I sure as hell wouldn't ever hang out with them again. Their "jokes" were absolutely horrible and disgusting.

chile_chicken · May 2009

I really wanted to leave when the "jokes" started, but then they would have known I was pregnant and I don't want them knowing before my family and people who will actually be happy for me.

I just hope we can break ties with them, as they are DHs old school friends but now we mostly hang out with other married couples who are actually mature. That's the problem I think with people my age group (I am nearly 25) , half of them are still stuck in teenager mode wheareas the other half are mature.

MrsL.inMarch · May 2009

chile_chicken:
Then the rest of the night, everyone was joking that I was pregnant and saying they would hit me in the stomach to get rid of it.

Nice friends you have there.

MrsErinnElizabeth · May 2009

MrsL.inMarch:
chile_chicken:
Then the rest of the night, everyone was joking that I was pregnant and saying they would hit me in the stomach to get rid of it.
Nice friends you have there.

This. WTF??

thequeeenbee · May 2009

Your friends are really messed up. Like... really.

MSC03 · May 2009

That's unbelievably disrespectful--pregnant or not. I would have gotten up and left.

niclo524 · May 2009

wow, i dont even know what to say other than I would definitely not be hanging out with those people anymore.

Saturnmazz · May 2009

chile_chicken:

now we mostly hang out with other married couples who are actually mature. That's the problem I think with people my age group (I am nearly 25) , half of them are still stuck in teenager mode wheareas the other half are mature.

this is so true, I went through that as well. You & hubs are at a different stage in your life now and need to move on from these immature friends.

whit022109 · May 2009

i would have had to spill the beans and put that B in her place. what a loser. hopefully she isn't a mother!

?

also, those 'friends' who said they would hit you in the stomach? that is NEVER a funny joke. they sound REALLY immature and not worth keeping as friends.?

loregopar · May 2009

Aussie*s_Mom:
Wow. IMO you guys need some new friends. Joking about hitting you so you'd m/c is sick and twisted and not even a little funny (I don't care the setting/context, that's NEVER funny). Sorry to be so harsh, but WTH is wrong with the people you hang out with? Were they dropped on their heads as babies?

This. I'd definitely not want to hang out with them ever again. I think I would've said something like "Are you insane? I have friends that have m/c and that is SO NOT funny!" in response to their jokes. Shame on them...

minda31807 · May 2009

chile_chicken:

About an hour into the evening she asked me if I knew that our friend Ben's wife was pregnant, then started on a rant about how pregnancy is destroying the eco-system and that people shouldn't get pregnant as it is irresponsible.

Yes, we should all stop having kids and let the human race die out so Mother Earth can heal herself from all the havoc that mankind has inflicted.

Yet another good example of a chick who should never be allowed to procreate.

You should totally announce that you are pg to them in that fashion. 'DH and I decide that we are irresponsible and want to destroy the eco-system so we are having a baby'

Married2MrWright · May 2009

Wow, I am sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds like these folks are very immature. Perhaps its time to rethink your circle of friends? At the very least, when you do tell, I'd certainly remind them of how uncomfortable they made you feel this past weekend. Some people just have no couth!

BTW, I just got back from Auckland. It is such a lovely city...I was only there for 4 days/3 nights but got to see a lot of it. I'll be back in November 2010 (with baby in tow, apparently) and hope to stay longer and see the rest of the country and maybe head to Fiji for a week or so.

Can't Wait To Be A Mama · May 2009

Wow, I would have got up and left. People can be so unknowingly mean. I'm sorry for them saying stuff like that.

littleredstrawberry · May 2009

Wow, this girl is definitely nuts!! Why is pregnancy destroying the eco-systeme?

"...everyone was joking, that...they would hit me in the stomach to get rid of it" Seriously, what kind of "friends" say something like this - even if it's ment jokingly?

I would have been upset and angry....and I would make them feel really guilty once I tell them that I am pregnant!!! Revenge is sweet!

Deirdre18 · May 2009

thequeeenbee:
Your friends are really messed up. Like... really.

This!!! x's 100 000

Eviebee · May 2009

chile_chicken:
They are all DHs friends apart from this one girl. What really peeved me off was that later she was going on about how excited she is to fly to Singapore in the new airbus plane. Hmmm, that's eco-friendly?

We were the first ones to leave anyway, hubby could tell I was upset but he said to me he didn't want to tell his friends anyway as they would just make jokes about it. All the others in that circle hate the idea of marriage and babies, and all still go to uni or have part time jobs so do whatever they want. I have a feeling we may be growing out of their circle, which is fine by me!

I am going to love hearing their reactions when they find out I actually am pregnant, I hope they apologise.

Wow, DH and I grew out of our friends and now have absolutely nothing in common anymore. They are all still acting like they are in univ even though we are all nearly 30. But none of them would talk like that! What is wrong with ppl?? I wouldn't talk to them anymore, apology or not. Who says that?