Do you ever worry about your marriage?

sarahjared · May 2009

I guess since all this Jon and Kate stuff has come out, I've noticed more articles, etc. about divorces. People that have been together 20+ years and one day DH decides he just can't do it anymore. That's it. no warning. I don't know what I would do, especially with a child involved. Or, DH has been cheating on wife for YEARS and then decides one day that he wants to be with the other woman. These scenarios and others make my stomach hurt.

DH and I have had some issues lately so I worry about us anyway but this is making me worry more. I wish I could be a child again and dream of the "happily ever after". Now I really wonder if it even exists. No one tells you how much work marriage is and that you could be the one totally screwed over by the person you love the most.

Enough of my rant. Good thing I am not giving a wedding toast (lol).

summerbrideDC · May 2009

I don't so much "worry" about it, as realize that life is uncertain. ?You just never know. ?I have friends who are struggling right now and they've always been what I thought was unshakeable. ?It makes me so sad and I think, "wow, if they are having trouble, what does that mean for the rest of us?"

and as ridiculous as it sounds, this whole J&K+8 stuff has made me think more carefully about how I interact w/ my husband and to be sure I'm being respectful and affectionate instead of shrewish and condescending. ?

Andrewsgal · May 2009

I would not say I really worry, but I do think about it sometimes. I realize that nothing is guarenteed. I also realize we make choices in life and those choices not only effect us, but those we love. I am very careful of the way I treat DH always have been. I expect him to treat me with love and respect and treat him the same way. I don't nag or put down his every move. Sure we argue, but very rarely and not for long. We really work on communicating.

I don't think anything is certian but there are things I can do to make the odds work in my favor.

LeisureSuitLauren · May 2009

Sometimes. We have lots of stressors and MH was married before, so that's always at the back of my mind. I know we're solid now, but I am no fool in thinking I know what's in the future. Of course, we work really hard to keep things good and I'm certainly hoping they stay that way!

Melissa Feist · May 2009

Thank you for posting this. It's nice to know you're not alone!

JellymanKelly · May 2009

summerbrideDC:

and as ridiculous as it sounds, this whole J&K+8 stuff has made me think more carefully about how I interact w/ my husband and to be sure I'm being respectful and affectionate instead of shrewish and condescending.

This. Because I don't want to realize one day that he's had enough of me talking down to him and has "checked out" of our marriage like Jon has.

kylara111 · May 2009

Nope. I got divorced when I was in my early 20s. I learned that I was stronger than I realized, I could survive it and I could be a better person without someone who didn't appreciate me in my life to drag me down. Divorce is a last resort to me so something pretty serious would have to happen to my marriage for me to even consider it.

oparcm · May 2009

No, I don't worry at all. I got married later in life (35) and lived by myself since college so I'm pretty used to living alone and managing everything. I did get married with the intention of staying married and I respect my marriage but I don't worry that he'll walk out someday. If that were to happen, I'd be ok. I wouldn't want him around if he wanted to leave.

goodheartedmommy · May 2009

I've found that our marriage has gotten sooo much better once I realized that your life will not be a fairy tale. I've stopped expecting it and gotten realistic expectations. I'm not saying that's your problem, but it was mine. DH isn't romantic, and I always translated that into meaning he just didn't love me enough. It comes down to the fact that no matter how mad he makes me, how much those little things annoy me, how unhappy I feel at times--the thought of living without him rips my heart apart. I'd be devastated if he decided one day he just didn't love me. The truth is, though, things happen, people screw up, you can't ever guarantee that you'll be together forever. All it takes is one mistake to change your life or your path forever. The most I can do is do my best to try not to make those mistakes, and hope that he does the same.

AnnapolisLari · May 2009

oparcm:
No, I don't worry at all. I got married later in life (35) and lived by myself since college so I'm pretty used to living alone and managing everything. I did get married with the intention of staying married and I respect my marriage but I don't worry that he'll walk out someday. If that were to happen, I'd be ok. I wouldn't want him around if he wanted to leave.

This.

cnybride2be · May 2009

AnnapolisLari:

oparcm:
No, I don't worry at all. I got married later in life (35) and lived by myself since college so I'm pretty used to living alone and managing everything. I did get married with the intention of staying married and I respect my marriage but I don't worry that he'll walk out someday. If that were to happen, I'd be ok. I wouldn't want him around if he wanted to leave.

This.

this is me too. but i would not be ok. i would be devasted. i didn't have two kids back when i was doing it on my own. i so need to be a part of a team to do it right i think.

annak23 · May 2009

I don't worry about our marriage. I worry about whether one of us dies before the other & is left with our DD. I have already given DH "permission" to marry again as long as she makes him happy & treats my DD like her own. lol!

Kelly Madonna · May 2009

Um, need I answer? Sadly, no.

shouldbeworkin · May 2009

No, not really. We've been through so much already and it just keeps getting better. The last 5 years have taught us a lot. I don't take it for granted and we're not blissful every day, but I'd say we're both pretty fulfilled and happy and I look forward to it getting even better with time.

I should add though that we have had some pretty dark days and we have gone to counseling to make our marriage happier - not b/c we were thinking of divorce - just b/c we could have been happier. that was the best thing I think we've ever done for ourselves!

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