Would this make me an ungrateful b!tch?

amhough · May 2009

Okay, so my SIL (whom I NEVER see, and lives in MI, while we live in GA) bought us the pack and play off our registry as a shower gift. I was very grateful for it and wrote her a nice thank you note.

And then yesterday, I was at the local consignment store looking at some other baby stuff, and I saw a Graco one that is wayyyyy nicer than the one we registered for, for $25. Now I kind of want to return the new one to BRU, buy the secondhand one, and use the credit at BRU for stuff we really need, like bottles and breastfeeding stuff. She did include a gift receipt, but I'm sure she was thinking in case we get a duplicate or something.

And a totally ungrateful b!tch if I do this? Keeping in mind that they will never visit us and she will never know. (Or does that not matter and I'm just a b!tch no matter)

Hotomale · May 2009

I don't there is anything ungrateful about that at all. Definately get the nicer/cheaper one and use the credit!!! Don't feel bad about that at all!!

NewLerma · May 2009

That's a tough one, but I would probably do it, if she does come and say something just lie and say that you found a different pattern you liked so you exchanged it or something.

erino&chrish · May 2009

I would 100% return it and buy the used one. You could get so much stuff with the credit for the other one! We returned a carrier someone got us which we didn't register for and got all our bottles and a pack of diapers and wipes. Much more useful....

SouthernSCWife · May 2009

Ooh, what a pickle. Based on your interactions with her in the past, does she seem like the type of person who would get her feelings hurt over this? I totally understand where you're coming from. Maybe if she's a reasonable person, you could call her up and tell her what you found, and maybe she'll tell you to use the credit to pick something else out. It would still technically be from her.

hisbabybear · May 2009

i would totally do that! She will never know and its not like you are required to keep things you dont want if you can use the money for something better.

amhough · May 2009

Oh, I can guarantee that she won't ever see it. Her children are heathens and DH and I have agreed that we won't have them in our house. She won't leave them behind, so we only see them if we go to MI, and then my MIL has a PNP she bought to have on hand for grandbabies.

I think I'm gonna do it.

Stephany Fritz · May 2009

I'd do it - with our finances it'd totally be a good idea - and if you get store credit and use it towards other stuff that's even better! I would think she'd understand (assuming she ever found out even!)

mrsrossa15 · May 2009

i don't think so... people buy you gifts so you don't have to pay for the things you need... not necessarily to get you a specific gift... if it was something that was like an heirloom or she went way out of her way to get it it would be different... but it was something you registered for because you thought you wanted it... you found something better and you can use the money from returning it to get things you need for the baby... also it would be different if you were returning the pnp and getting stuff for yourself ... so i say return away!

Suparstarz714 · May 2009

Definitly not ungrateful... I would probably do the same thing...

WaitingForMyMiracle · May 2009

I'd get the secondhand PnP.

iris427 · May 2009

Nope, not at all.

NewLerma · May 2009

amhough:
Oh, I can guarantee that she won't ever see it. Her children are heathens and DH and I have agreed that we won't have them in our house. She won't leave them behind, so we only see them if we go to MI, and then my MIL has a PNP she bought to have on hand for grandbabies.

I think I'm gonna do it.

Then absolutely!

~BeesBoo~ · May 2009

I don't think that it is wrong to do that, but I personally could not do it because I would feel quilty for no reason.

PrimaandGee · May 2009

No you are smart and practical. My DH's sister bought us $150 worth of duplicates yesterday and I want to take it all back to target to put the cash towards a double stroller. DH seemed so upset and hurt. But we seriously don't need 4 infant carriers, 2 pottys, $60 worth of extra dr. browns. 4 pink minky blankets etc. We need a stroller...lol I did feel bratty after I made the suggestion.

MA&CB · May 2009

I'd go for it...not only will she probably never know, even if she did see it maybe she wouldn't even realize it was a different one; I don't think people really pay that close to the details of those kind of things.

groovychick · May 2009

Whoa.......ungrateful *** is incredibly hard on yourself! Ease up a little, will ya? If it were me, I would call her and explain exactly what you said in this post. (ie you found one that you liked better and would she be upset if you returned it and bought it and....) I'm sure she would be fine with it. And then you would be fine if she happened to visit (family tends to do this when a little one is around...) and you wouldn't feel anxious etc....

Mrs_mam · May 2009

Not ungrateful, you thanked her and appreciate the gift and you will still use it for things you need for the baby. Just don't tell her!

MattysGirl81 · May 2009

I'd totally do it. ?If I had gotten something for someone from her registry, and she decided she didn't want it (for whatever reason, doesn't matter) and returned it to use the credit on other things, it wouldn't even occur to me to be offended. ?It's not like I went out of my way to think of some creative, personalized gift that the person returned. ?I'd want to know that the money I spent on the gift was being used for a good purpose, whether that be on the actual item or towards other necessities.

chingpei · May 2009

nothing ungrateful about that at all...you're just being smart about your financial choices and making good purchases; even if they did notice, there's no way she'd be offended. she did, after all, include the gift receipt!

CalinsBride · May 2009

I'd return it, for sure.

grace&ricky · May 2009

No way are you ungrateful! People include gift receipts cause there's a chance it'll get returned/exchanged. Besides, if SIL is a mom (or when she becomes a mom), she'll understand you change your mind about baby products.