How about why your husband aggervates you during baby?-vent

Bill&Me · May 2009

So I am really aggervated by DH that I don't even want to look at him. He has been drinking a lot of beer lately (like drunkiness) and I can't take it! I hate the smell I hate seeing it I just hate it! I think he is just bored because we have't been going out lately just because I don't feel like it! When I suggest going to a fair or something he says no because he thinks its a waste of money. I think his BEER is a waste of money!!! WTF? I told him and he is just not seeing the problem, help! I am going to have a baby in this environment? It needs to change soon or this is not going to work out well!

twiitermytwat · May 2009

He needs to grow up

nicolebuchalla · May 2009

This will not fix itself. You need to have an adult conversation while he's sober and you're calm and try to work it out. Good luck!

Vuja_de · May 2009

ok.. take a deep breath.

When you spoke to your husband were you already upset?

I find that if i am upset and i try to talk to my husband about something i get nowhere because my emotions completely overrule my sanity. Is there a compromise you can possibly make with him? Do you think he may be drinking because he is nervous? Does he have an alcohol problem? I think if you can't get anywhere speaking to him rationaly and reasonably you may want to consider marriage counseling.

MyLittleTyke · May 2009

Good luck!

My guess is he's coming to terms with the fact that he's going to be a dad which can be very very scary. We get 9 months (of fun... haha yeah... ummm) to get used to the idea but most men know that it won't hit them until they're driving you to the hospital to give birth. It's daunting and it feels like it's the end for them.... just my two cents :-) I hope it all works out!

Mine didn't seem to undertand that evne though I wasn't showing and didn't have the worst case of morning sicknss ever that I still didn't feel well... it set in when he heard the heartbeat and saw the baby though!

Bill&Me · May 2009

I talk to him when I see him go to the fridge for the first beer, I say something like "already" or "Do you have to now?" and his biggest thing right now is that we haven't been having sex lately and for 1 i am just tired and not always feeling great. But when he smells like beer and can't keep it hard it doesn't really make me want to do it either! I always approach him calmly and I talk to him I don't yell. But I do want to make a point some how that he is just getting out of control and needs to cut it out. I have no idea why he is doing it but I just can't take it anymore.

Anna&Matt · May 2009

nicolebuchalla:
This will not fix itself. You need to have an adult conversation while he's sober and you're calm and try to work it out. Good luck!

this! It won't resolve itself until you talk about it with him. Try to stay calm while you guys discuss why it bothers you.?

jabstt · May 2009

Oh how i feel your pain. My DH and I are 24 - so still relatively young... we got married at 22 and the first of all of our friends SO all of his friends are still in the "college" mode going out and getting wasted is a nightly thing for them. He used to be heavily caught up in it but has slowed down some. He used to be big on us going out together and im just not the party/ going out type so i told him he needs to have his "guy time" to keep him who he is. Which worked out great for us until we found out we were pg. He had picked up on the drinking more and more and ended up walking home (2miles) from a local bar at 2 am - just pissed me off for some reason. I couldnt take it anymore and told him the pregnancy doenst start when the baby comes the responsibility started the day we found out. I am ok with you having your guys nights but you have to understand that i will NOT come and pick you up at 2 in the morning nor should you put your child and I through the worry of waiting for you to walk in the door at 2 in the morning! I told him it scares me and i won't let our child grow up in an environment like that. He needs to be more responsible with his drinking. Since the conversation it has been REALLY good. I think he finally understands :::knock on wood:::

qiana30 · May 2009

I could say try and talk to him when he is not drinking, but my hubby gets on my nerves as well he doesnt drink like that but he is constantly on the road and always gone and im pretty much tired of it as well i really feel like im in a relationship alone. i could use some advise on my situation.

Bill&Me · May 2009

jabstt:
Oh how i feel your pain. My DH and I are 24 - so still relatively young... we got married at 22 and the first of all of our friends SO all of his friends are still in the "college" mode going out and getting wasted is a nightly thing for them. He used to be heavily caught up in it but has slowed down some. He used to be big on us going out together and im just not the party/ going out type so i told him he needs to have his "guy time" to keep him who he is. Which worked out great for us until we found out we were pg. He had picked up on the drinking more and more and ended up walking home (2miles) from a local bar at 2 am - just pissed me off for some reason. I couldnt take it anymore and told him the pregnancy doenst start when the baby comes the responsibility started the day we found out. I am ok with you having your guys nights but you have to understand that i will NOT come and pick you up at 2 in the morning nor should you put your child and I through the worry of waiting for you to walk in the door at 2 in the morning! I told him it scares me and i won't let our child grow up in an environment like that. He needs to be more responsible with his drinking. Since the conversation it has been REALLY good. I think he finally understands :::knock on wood:::

The good this is that DH doesn't go to the bar but he does have the same problem. DH is 28 so I think he should be over it by now!I am going to try and use the responsibility thing and see the response I get. I hope it gets through to him. Thanks!

Goldengirl16 · May 2009

Try to sit down and calmly talk to him. If that doesn't work, suggest counseling. Good luck!

Geek_Girl · May 2009

Instead of being confrontational ("already??"), have you had a calm conversation with him about what he's feeling? Because, yes, you're the one carrying the baby, but he's going through some stuff, too.

How is your relationship otherwise? Has he always been a drinker?

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