I want to cancel my shower.

sherpa · May 2009

It's on Sunday and I really wish I hadn't agreed to have one. I hate the attention it brings, hate the thought of having two?dysfunctional?families in one room, and hate having to do 80% of the planning myself. I need to go order my cake, do the decorations, order and pay for the food. Why the eff am I doing all of this work for my shower? They talked me into it, started the planning then bailed because they couldn't keep anything organized and it was a huge cluster f. My mom just called to say she wasn't even going because she apparently started some drama with my sisters and grandmother this weekend, I don't even want to know about. So she's not going to show up now.

Should I just cancel it? ?

ExpatFamily06 · May 2009

I'm sorry, that's awful! If it were me, and I was pretty much the one getting stuck doing everything, I'd cancel. But only if the guests that were coming wouldn't be completely put out, i.e. long distance drivers, people who are flying, etc.

EmilyBowes · May 2009

nope, don't cancel. take the gifts and a massive piece of cake. then go take a bubble bath. just drown out the dysfunctional dribble. it's your day, so dammit milk it for all you want from it, and ignore the rest. don't dress up if you don't want to--wear what you want.

ccole2127 · May 2009

You've come this far, you might as well stick it out until the end. hopefully you'll get some great gifts to counter attack all of the drama. Also probably by the end of the week your mom will get over the grief. I don't think she'll be that selfish to not show up for your shower b/c of certain ppl being there.

Nicavesani · May 2009

Oh wow... that really sucks. ?I'm so sorry that this experience is not a happy one for you. ?I would still want to have one because of the gifts. ?Not being greedy, but I got so many amazing things that I can't imagine being able to afford everything I need and got without a shower. ?But, if you're ready for baby and don't care about the gifts, then cancel.?

babyGsmama · May 2009

YOU POOR GIRL!!!!!!!! Do you already have lots of money invested in this that you will not get back? If so, I would say just get your gifts, write you thank you note and learn your lesson about planning anything with your family.

Jimsgirl5821 · May 2009

I'm sorry you are going through that. I would flip on all of them and say its about you, not them, and they need to finish this for you. And why are you paying for food and decorating? Maybe you can enlist some friends to help? At this point I wouldnt cancel. People already planned on coming and got the gifts. I would have the families get their asses in gear though.

Lopo · May 2009

I'm sorry! It's too bad that everyone's selfish attitudes are getting in the way of a very special time for you. If it's really going to stress you out that much, then I would cancel.

sherpa · May 2009

Really, with all the money we're spending on this we could just buy the gifts for ourselves. ?Then we wouldn't have to do thank you cards. ; )

I'm thinking, if we serve alcohol it will at least be a good time for the drinkers. ?My family is WT all the way but won't drink a drop and will judge and snicker; DH's family is as fancy as they come but got drunk at Easter, before noon. ?LOL. ?We're 100% convinced that we were both switched at birth. ?

jolis_petits_bijoux · May 2009

Argh. You really should not be doing any work for your shower! I literally did nothing for mine - other than brought the diapers for the "baby poo" candy game (since I already had a pack of NB diapers)...

Anyway, I don't get it. Did your shower hostess say, "I want to throw you a shower, but you have to pay for everything?"

I don't think you should cancel it. It's too close to the date. It's too bad that you already agreed to do almost all of the work, because otherwise you could have just let the chips fall as they may. If the shower is disorganized, that's not your fault. Everyone will know who hosted/planned the shower, and the only one who'd look bad would be them...

NKufferman · May 2009

I'm sorry - family can really suck!

afg · May 2009

Wow, that really stinks. If I were you, I probably would have flipped on someone by now but if you've sucked it up this long, then hang in there and go ahead with it.

I don't think it's fair at all that you have to foot the bill. Hopefully you'll get some great gifts...do you think you will?

blf722 · May 2009

I feel bad that you are having to deal with this drama. You don't need it, however I would not cancel the shower. I don't think you should go all out for food though - especially if you have to pay for it! Also you don't need extravagent decorations either. I have been to PLENTY of showers where they have tea, coffee, punch, and cake. Why not do that? It's not your responsbility to feed everyone a meal. Hopefully some of the guests can pull it together and be pleasant for your sake!

sherpa · May 2009

The girls in my family all said they wanted to plan the shower together. I assumed they were paying for it too. It got turned around on me when they asked me about decorations, games, and my food preferences.

They said that they aren't very good with decorations so maybe I could find someone else to do them. Fine, one of my gf's is going to do them but she needs my help and I'll need to pay for them.

Then, my sister was talking about the cake and food. She asked me what kind of cake I wanted (carrot) and when I told her she said, I don't like that kind. I guess the girls all had a pow-wow to talk about my choice of cake and they all agreed that their choice of cake was better (white with strawberry mousse filling and heavy buttercream frosting).

Awesome, I can't wait to die from heartburn when I eat that heavy cake and it's 90% humidity outside.

They didn't have any plans for food other than a veggie and fruit tray and someone was going to make Ro-tel. Um, that's not going to be enough food for the 50 people going to the party YOU planned for 1:00.

DH was so sick of the idiocy that he said we should just take care of it ourselves, I agreed.?

It's nice to vent.?

Pesky · May 2009

Do not spend a ton of money. Costco is your friend -- get the cake there first. That's about $17 for a half-sheet or you can spring for a whole sheet. And get what you want. Buy a fruit tray and a veggie tray there -- that'll be about $25. Offer only water or tea. You can do the mini quiches if you want (those are about $13) but otherwise, just set out some potato chips or chips and salsa and guacamole (you can get all those in large quantities from costco) and call it a day. That way you aren't out a lot of money, it's done and for pete's sake, don't have any games (which usually mean prizes). Sit down, eat your cake and enjoy the gifts. Oh and you can make your own TY cards on the computer using some card stock.

soom2007 · May 2009

Please don't cancel it. You've probably done so much already. That's too bad your family backed out on the planning. Just enjoy yourself on the day and take all the pressies.

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