- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Eco-Friendly Family
Seriously thinking about Ferberizing
I don't know what to do. Night time is getting harder and harder on everyone in our household. DD isn't nursing to sleep anymore and gets ticked when we try to rock her to sleep. but you put her in her crib and she screams at the top of her lungs. She is a very strong willed child and God only knows how long she will cry.
As we speak my DH is in her room with her holding her and she is screaming. Nothing is wrong with her because when we bring her out to the living room, she stops crying and wants to play with her Leapfrog table. She is super tired but refusing to sleep. We had a very similar scenerio for naptime today. We finally skipped trying to get her to sleep for the nap and she fell asleep on the way home from friends' this afternoon.
I'm at my wit's end and EXHAUSTED because she has been waking up ten billion times a night and ends up in our bed. Co-sleeping was great for a season but my husband and I want our bed back without our wrestless wild sleeper between us. We have talked about Ferber before but didn't think we could let her CIO. We usually heavily lean towards AP, but we are two very tired desperate parents with a tired cranky baby, looking for answers. To throw a monkey wrench in the mix, my mom is temporarily living with us and she is so anti CIO so it will be hard to do it if she is here. I don't even know what I am asking...maybe nothing. I just need to vent. Right now I am listening to silence so I assume she is asleep and DH lays her down and I hear screaming again. This sucks big time.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Seriously thinking about Ferberizing
When Caedan gets like that I just let him play until he wears himself out. ?I never really had a strict bed time for him anyway. ?I sometimes also turn out all the lights and then we both lie down and he usually falls asleep very quickly and I then carry him to his crib.
I won't CIO either. ?I don't think it is really fair to him, since he doesn't understand what is happening. ?They also haven't learned object?permanence?yet. ?
11 months
How do you usually get her back to sleep - nursing? Maybe the Pantley Pull-Off method will help a little?
Sorry I can't be more help!
never heard of this method. Tell me more. And to answer your question, yes, she usually gets nursed back to sleep.
It's just a stage they go through. All of mine have, at varying ages, usually more than one time. I don't think CIO will make it any better. From what I understand, CIO doesn't fix it longterm, and you will have to repeat it several times. For me, I like to let my kids kinda figure it out on their own. I find that my kids are very flexible with sleep, and I like to think it's because I've facilitated that in some way. What worked a few weeks ago just might not be cutting it. Put her on your back in the ergo and take a walk, or she might want to be bounced, or to fall asleep on your shoulder, or she may just need to play until she falls asleep.
Oh, and at that age, my son (who was always a night owl and is again) HAD to be in bed by a very specific, early time (like 6 or 6:30?), and if you messed with that time, bedtime was hell. It lasted for a couple of months before it evened back out. A lot of times, sleep problems can be fixed by an earlier bedtime.
Good luck!
I am so sorry....but I feel like I wrote your post word for word just months ago. We still have issues sometimes...and like Luvlie said, we sometimes just let her play & wear out completely. We also do not have a set bedtime.
It is getting better. Sometimes it does take a while (I think last night or the night before, it took about 45 minutes....but, she was in her crib during that time, and I was sitting on the floor, but touching her & singing to her. Major progress for her.
We are anti-CIO, so if you are, that also is definitely a commitment. I agree with Luvlie, that it's just not fair to a LO. They totally do no understand - and I certainly do not want to mess up on trust issues with my kids.
I hope it gets better for you soon.
Rated "L" For Life Blog
hard stuff. nightweaning was key for us. lucy does sleep in our bed and was still waking up every 2 hours to nurse until a month/six weeks ago. we cut out the final feeding (the 11 pm one) a week ago. she did cry. a lot. but i was there with her the entire time. the only time i leave is when she's in her crib (she starts out the night there) and she stands up. i go out for 1 minute and then go back in, and she lays down and usually stays that way until she's asleep. once she learned how to fall asleep w/out nursing, she was better able to fall asleep on her own in the crib/bed. she just likes one of us to be there with her. and i don't see anything wrong with that.?
i do find that if she gets good naps, she's a lot easier to go to sleep at night. it's the days when she takes crappy naps, or misses a nap, or gets woken up early by the dog barking, that she's a bear to put down at night. you might start with naps as far as everything is concerned--not nursing to sleep, rocking, etc. i would do everything in stages--not nursing but rocking to sleep (even if she's screaming at you), then not rocking to sleep, but putting in the crib drowsy. yes it takes a long time, but it really does work. at least, it did/is for us.?
our rule is once she's in the crib, we're not picking her up again, even if she cries. we're there with her, shushing her, cudding her (heck, there have been times i've nearly gotten my whole self into the crib) but i'm not picking her up again. imo, you have to win several "battles" before they understand that you are serious! i just choose to fight my battles by her side instead of leaving her. i don't have anything against those who ferberize (not too much, anyway, lol), but it's really not for me & my kids.?
It's basically like weaning her from needing to suck so much. It doesn't cut her off it just gently reduces her demand over time. An article here.
we've been dealing with the same issue for a couple months now...our DS is not a candidate for CIO (although I don't think i could do it anyway) since he would seriously cry himself crazy. We still deal with it- I put him down and it usually takes 1-3 hours before he's actually down for more than 20 minutes without throwing a fit. when i go to work (I work nights) he sometimes criees for 4 hours for my DH. Like yours, there is nothing wrong with him...if he leaves the room, he's all happy/playful.
What i've found works for us is: 1.) bedtime routine- quiet play/walk (I wear him), wipe down with washcloth (no bath before bed, since it gets him riled up), lotion massage, read 2 books, swaddle, nurse and then the sleep fight begins. 2.) catch him before he gets too tired- mine is younger, but he goes to bed at 6pm and is NEVER awake for more than 1.5 hours. I am chasing the sleep dragon allll day long!! 3.) I also give homeopathic camomile at bedtime.
we still fight, but it's sllllowwwwly getting better. this is a hard one that drives me nuts-o, too.
GL!!