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1st Trimester
To know or not to know....
DH and I decided not to find out the sex of our first baby. We thought it would be more exciting and really all babies require the same stuff. I told my boss that and she flipped out and tried to convince me to change my mind. I was extremely annoyed that she would try and do this but I thought some of her reasons for finding out the sex were interesting. So it made me wonder....
Why are you choosing to know or not know the sex of your baby?
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Re: To know or not to know....
I don't get why she thought it was her business....that would really annoy me. We didn't find out for DD, and won't for this one. I just figure that there are very few suprises in life, and this is one.
And I will admit that I still remember the moment that DH said "it's a girl...wait...let me double check' like it was yesterday
We're choosing to find out because we just can't wait til birth to find out.
I think some people just love to critique other people's pregnancy & parenting choices... this will probably the be the first of many times that someone gives you a hard time about a personal decision like this.
the last big surprise on earth (imo) so we waited. i also spent 3 days being induced so having the surprise as motivation toward the end really made it worthwhile.
a reason i dislike knowing in advance-the only mystery is the birthdate and maybe weight. i had a friend just have twins and we have known for months that they were boys and their names could be C and D, plus she had regular us so we pretty much knew the weight and such. when we got the call it was like-oh so at least we know their b-day now. just a lot of excitement and fun gets taken away by finding out early-again my opinion
We are going to find out. DH will not have it anyother way. I like to shop and decorate, so I want to know what to buy. Green and yellow just don't do it for me. But I definately see why you would want to wait.
We haven't officially decided yet - we go back and forth on this one.
The name issue is irrelevant because we've already decided on names for both a boy (Timothy Joseph aka TJ) and a girl (Emma). ?The only reason I want to know is so we can decorate the nursery appropriately - like we decided on trains for a boy, and Disney princesses for a girl. ?If we don't find out, I think we will do baby animals/Noah's arc. ?
But whoever said this is really the last true?surprise, I think that may be the reason we wait.?
Money money money money. We are not finding out because we have EVERYTHING a baby needs, and if I found out this baby was a girl, I would want to buy all new stuff in pink....and I know I'd go crazy wanting to do an all new nursery for a little girl. So we're waiting. Plus DH wanted to wait with #1 for the surprise factor, but I wanted to find out, so this time around, we will wait.
Arguments FOR finding out, though....
#1, some say it helps you bond with the baby (I don't know about this becaue I only found out...I'm curious this time around to see if I'm not as 'bonded' when this baby is born...)
#2, if you share the name, you can get lots of monogrammed stuff
#3, stuff. I swear you get a TON more stuff if you find out the gender...I had friends that waited, and they both said, they didn't get much stuff before the baby was born...it's like people wait until you have the baby and they know what you are having so they can get you blue or pink stuff.
#4, jump start on decorating the nursery. I think most people think they will be happy with a gender neutral nursery, but once the baby comes, you'll catch yourself thinking 'man, this room needs more boy/girl stuff!' The two friends I had that didn't find out both did a lot to tweak their nursery after their babies were born.
#5, having an answer to the question. Everyone immediately asks what you are having, and I can imagine it will get annoying to constantly say 'oh, we're waiting to find out!' (then again, the next question is always, what's the name going to be?? and some people don't like sharing that info, even if they find out the gender.)
#6. Saying goodbye to the other possibility. This one hits kinda close to home for me....see, before you find out what you are having, you get to dream about both possibilities. Imagine yourself with a boy or a girl, but once you find out, you have to say goodbye to one road and embrace the other. This isn't too difficult if you are really open to either gender, but with baby #1, I REALLY wanted a girl, and I think it was helpful for me to know sooner rather than later I wasn't having a girl so I could in a sense, morn the losss of my girl and get pumped up about having a boy.
All-in-all, I'm really glad we found out gender for baby #1, and I'm even more excited we're going to let it be a surprise for baby #2.
We're finding out. DH doesn't care if he knows or not, but I can't wait to find out. With DS I was glad we found out because I was dead set that he was a girl and I had to know so that I had no disappointment on that day. I went out and bought a boy outfit and changed my thinking that day (Either would have been great mind you, but I completely thought he was going to be a girl. It made his birth so much more fun knowing that Evan was coming and the nurses were goading him on when I wasn't dilating fast enough. They were like "come on Evan, you Mommy and Daddy are waiting to meet you and you have to do your stuff so that they can." It was really great!
Besides, it's a surprise whether or not you find out at the u/s or the birth.
Keep in mind, we still didn't take any tags off of the clothes we had gotten him until my 38 week u/s when they confirmed that it was for sure a boy.?
hubby and i plan on knowing... i don't need it to be a suprise. if it makes other people more motivated/excited not knowing, i totally get that and think it's awesome... but for me, this whole pregnancy is surreal enough. knowing the sex will make baby more "tangible"... when we wont have to use the term "it" when refering to baby, and can pick names... plus my husband has had some losses from a previous marriage, and i think knowing the sex will just be such an awesome milestone for him (and me!).
if for some reason baby is not "cooperating" during the ultrasound, no worries. i wouldn't be disapointed if we couldn't find out, we're just figuring we will.
This will be more then likely my only child since we won't do treatment again. I have an image in my head of what exactly I want the nursery to look like for both a boy and a girl and plan to go all out with it! I need the extra 20 weeks to prepare.I am a planner and always have been!
IMO - you will be suprised and amazed whether you wait or not. I can not wait to start calling my baby "he" or "she" or even by name once we find out!
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My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
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Exactly--it's still a surprise whether you found out at 20 wks or at birth, I don't get why people say that its not? Also, I was never 100% convinced my DD was girl (even though I had 10+ u/s) until the moment I saw her with my own eyes. I don't think knowing 'diminished' the experience in any way for me. Her birth itself was full of enough surprises for me that I at least knew one thing to expect.
I also don't understand why people say it isn't a 'surprise' unless you find out at the birth.
It is a surprise at any point.
We will find out.
We are not finding out. We feel this is one of the greatest suprises in a life time. So many people find out just for planning reasons, so they know how to decorate and such. However even if we were to find out we would still decorate in gender neutral stuff because we plan to have more children and want to re-use as much as possible.
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well it's a surprise either way-waiting or at the ultra sound. some people (like myself) just like to be better prepared or get gender specific things-
we are finding out for this one to know if we are digging out DS's old things or if we get to go on a pink shopping spree-
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Here's a good "middle of the fence" suggestion...
Ask the doctor/ultrasound tech if they can tell what it is when you go in for the big ultrasound. If they are 100% sure, have then write it down and put it in an envelope. Then, you and your husband can decide later on if you want to make your own special occasion out of the big reveal. I've known people who've gone out and had a nice evening together and opened the envelope together at home. That gives you time to enjoy the moment together, without other people watching.
I've heard good arguments both ways, but if there is even a twinge of hope for a specific sex on either you or your DH's part, I'd want to find out ahead of time. I've had friends that were just sure they were having a girl (or a boy) and were slightly disappointed when they found out at the ultrasound. Of course, they were happy with what God gave them, but they all said that if you think you might be disappointed one way or the other, it would be better to find out early than on the day of the birth. That gives you time to picture yourself with a son/daughter and get excited about the sex of the baby.
We can't wait to find out! Primarily, our reason for wanting to know is so that we can buy some cute gender specific things, though I think the nursery and most of the gear will be pretty neutral for future children too.
On the issue of surprise, we figure that it's a surprise whether we find out via ultrasound or in the delivery room, so why wait.
It is very personal though and I know I would never berate anyone for choosing differently than myself.
We're finding out, because we want to know! I see both sides but we're choosing sooner rather than later.
I do need to keep in mind that we hope to have two children, and for that reason I don't want everything to be gender specific.
We will find out. We found out with DD and DS. I am a planner by nature and want to know. Plus, I will need to know which SIL I need my baby clothes back from
I have had friends that didn't find out - whatever worked for them. I would go crazy!
Good luck deciding!
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I'm sorry she pressed her opinions on you so much. It isn't her kid so I don't know why she is so adament.
I am finding out the gender for a few different reasons. I like to plan, I tend not to like gender neutral stuff, and DH and I don't figure out baby names until we know the gender (why "fight" over a name that you won't end up using because it is for the opposite gender of child). Plus, you are going to be excited 1 day - either the day you find out via u/s or the day s/he is born. I personally don't think finding out the day of an u/s makes it any less exciting.
I think it is dumb for people to think more or less of someone else if they choose (or do not choose) to find out the gender.
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We are not finding out.
I am a super Type A planner as well, but the only thing I would be able to plan differently or better would be a gender specific nursery or gender specific clothing. Neither of those trumps the moment of finding out it's a boy or girl at the birth.
I agree that it's a surprise whenever you hear the news, but it's sort of like finding out you're getting a bike for Christmas while it's still August. You're super stoked about the bike and you'll love it when you get it and think of it all the time until Christmas comes, but the all at once, omg, joy of joys of the surprise on Christmas morning if you didn't know is even better. Maybe a dumb way to look at it, but it's the only way I could draw a familiar simile here.
Maybe some people don't feel this way, but I feel like the guessing, talking with relatives about what they think, taking "bets", etc, is such a big part of the fun of pregnancy.
That said, we'll be finding out with #2+.
we are finding out. My biggest reason is becuase I think I will be able to bond with the baby better during my pregnancy, I want to know who is in there. I also dont want a bunch of green and yellow baby gifts.
I dont look at it as a big surprise, its either a boy or a girl. To me the birth is more of the unveiling of a little person.
Good luck, and dont put up with people giving you crap about your choice. Its a very personal decision.
We are keeping it a surprise. I know of too many people who tell everyone the gender and the name. Then, when the baby is born, it isn't as exciting because we all already know everything but the weight. Also, I had a friend who was told the entire pregnancy she was having a girl. Guess what?! It was a boy and she had a room full of pink clothes and blankets that she couldn't use.