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TTC After a Loss
luvsbunny
member
Back from the RE. Pissed.
luvsbunny
member
So RE says it is a no go this cycle. He wants me to have 1 normal cycle so I chickened out and did not tell him the my OB said I could take femara and go for it. My uterus is back to normal and I waited almost 80 days for AF1. so no reason to wait that long again. Whatever.
Then he goes on to what could we test. First, do an HSG. What? I had one done like November of last year????? Oh really? I don't have the pictures. WTF? So I now have to go after the hospital to send it to him again, but seriously on my 1st appt he said no IUI or fertility drugs without HSG, so how the heck does he not have the results now?
When I moved to the RE my OB also asked for all the results of my cd3 bloodwork, thiroyd, glucose and all that other good stuff to be faxed to him. He had all of it, but now he says he doesn't and gave me a lab slip to do it again including a few others (RPL).
Then he goes on to suggest that I am young, a baby (I am 33) and that I got pg on my own before and got pg with my first IUI with only 1 follie, so maybe I could think of doing TI. WTF? I did OPKS and TI for 4 cycles after m/c then clomid and TI for 6 cycles and nothing. I have been ttc for 2 years now. Seriously?
Am I over reacting? Or am I right to want to find a new RE?
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Re: Back from the RE. Pissed.
not overreacting at all and totally frustrating. Dr's have NO idea what we go through with these issues.
You should absolutely find a new one ~ you shouldn't have this frustration. You should feel comfortable & confident with your RE.
It sounds like your RE is completely stupid. Yes, go find a new one. Who loses all those tests and wants you to pay to repeat them? That is terrible. He also sounds like he lost his memory. You deserve better.
Can your OB refer you to someone else? You are not over reacting, Luvs. Find someone new....
So- will you skip or try this cycle?
Is right, I am so sorry girlie. You have every right to be pissed. If I were you, I'd find a new RE. I'm sorry he's giving you the run-around.
i would find a new one. i would to want to throart chop him everytime i saw him if this is how he talks to you when you see him. you shouldnt have to deal with that kind of talk
"I am young, a baby (I am 33) and that I got pg on my own before and got pg with my first IUI with only 1 follie, so maybe I could think of doing TI"
it sounds like he could care less and your wasting HIS time trying to get pg. GL
Find a new RE!
I would be pissed too if he /she wanted me to test the same sh!t you've been tested for already. Also, your DH had a s/a with (i forget) lower results. Doesn't he think you've done TI before? Also, with the s/a results why would he recommend continuing TI??
I could almost handle the one cycle thing but TI...??
Def Find new RE.
this.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.
Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
2IF does not always equal 3IF...Surprise!
OH heck no!
I would call him and tell him that I discussed this with my husband and OB and want to try this cycle. Or write a letter and fax it to him, tell him your history again and tell him this is what you want as a patient. I know if I talked to him I might forget my points with his responses, so I might opt for e-mail or faxed letter. I'm sorry though, I can imagine how pi$$ed off you must feel.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this bonehead !?
you should be able to completely trust your RE - this whole TTC business is frustrating enough, you don't need your Dr pissing you off -
time for a new doc !
GL !!!?
Luvs, I'm really sorry. I think you go to the same place I'm at (UCSF IVF). The RE I saw said similar things to me: young (um 34, not as young as I could be), got pregnant before, etc. I know our issues are different but just wanted to let you know that I too felt like my RE there was a little too blase for me. I made an appt with Stanford's recurrent loss program to get a 2nd opinion and see if their approach better suited my personality.
And, again, I'm really sorry that this appt didn't go as you had hoped. That's so frustrating.
oH and I forgot,
I would say to go for a new RE but then the new one might make you wait until he/she does their own testing so you would still miss out on this cycle.... if your current RE doesn't give in then yes I say a change should happen. There was no sensitivity in what he said, he should know better how frustrating this journey is, grrrr
girl, that sucks. i'm sorry to hear that. i think you should find a dr that is committed to helping you acheive your goal. i don't think i would repeat all of the labs, especially if you have had it done recently.
can you request a copy of all of that stuff from the original dr and make copies of it for yourself? that's what i have done and then i have my own chart at home that i take with me to appts and if the new dr doesn't have something i pull it out and let them make a copy of it. also everytime i go i ask for a copy of the labs that they did at the most recent appt. that way i get it as i go and i don't have to request and pay for my records.
GL...
I thought the same thing....but my new RE did not make me wait, when I made the appt they sent me out a packet of info that I needed to fill out. They also requested me to go to my old RE's office and a copy of all my records including my HSG pictures. Keep in mind this cost money - my office charged $1.00 a page - which I find ridiculous they are my files! I then sent everything to the new RE so he could review prior to my appt. I know trying to find a new doctor can be frustrating...but you have to be comfortable with you choose. Is there anyone that can refer you to an RE (that they like) in your area? BIG ((( HUGS )))
Wow... that is so frustrating!!! You have every right to be pissed. I hate when they can't seem to get my story straight. I would be so pissed!! I had an HSG in October and my RE didn't see the need for another. Those things are freaking expensive!
I think an RE should give some recommendations but ultimately do what the patient wants (within reason of course) I think it's reasonable to get started again. I'm so sorry.
Unacceptable!! You are not overreacting. He seems to be so indiffernt about the situation.
Luciana, I am so sorry you have to deal with this incompetentcy and irresponsibility. Forgive me if I repeat what the others have already posted but I try not to read the posts until after I've answerd or commented.
Does this mean you are going to consider going with your OB's protocol "I chickened out and did not tell him the my OB said I could take femara and go for it"? If so, I think its a good idea. I could not endure having to waste a cycle. That would drive me as crazy as the woman in your picture.
I don't understand this man, did he seem surprised that the tests could not be found? Did he apologize for the inconvenience? Did he begin a hunt for the missing test results? I don't get it, that should not happen. Do you have to pay the copays to retake those tests? I am so angry. He seems so unconcerned. You don't want to work with an RE who is dispassionate about his work.
You need to find a different RE! You need to work quickly (find RE and send test results) so that you don't miss this cycle.
*Edit: Did the OB give you a script for the Femara? If so, why can't you work with her while looking for a new RE?
Miscarried December of 2008, Ectopic Pregnancy November of 2009
IVF #1 = BFN | IVF #2 = BFP: 9dp5dt (399), 14dp5dt (2489)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6,7
no you are not overreacting, if he's gonna be that careless with your paper work how is he gonna be with you and your treatments
July 2004 abnormal pap, colposcopy and LEEP procedure ~ paps every 3 months all normal for 1 year
2006 all clear to start TTC
HSG Nov 2007 ~ all normal except mild left tube blockage
BFP #2 Dec 2007 EDD sept 3 ~ missed m/c ~ Feb 14 2008 ~ 9wk 2d D&C
BFP #3 Apr 2008 EDD Dec 10 ~ ectopic ~ May 2008 ~ 5wk 2d ~ emergency lap surgery, lost left tube
BFP #4 Jul 2008 EDD May 5 ~ missed m/c ~ Aug 2008 ~ 5wk 2d D&C - trisomy 16
RPL panel Aug 2008 ~ diagnosed with compound hetero MTHFR
BFP #5 Nov 2008 EDD Jul 31 ~ blighted Ovum ~ Dec 2008 ~ 4wk 3d ~ natural m/c at home for my birthday
BFP #6 Feb 2009 EDD Oct 15 ~ 4wk 3d ~ chemical pregnancy ~ Mar 2008
BFP #7 May 18 2009 ~ Gabriel Michael ~ Jan 19, 2010 ~ 7lbs 2oz 21"
TTC again since Jan 2011
BFP #8 Jun 2011 EDD Jan 20 ~ 5wk 6d ~ missed m/c ~ D&C
July - Hysterscopy removed some polyps, all clear for IUI with clomid
Aug-Oct - IUI - with Clomid all BFN
Nov-Jan - IUI - with femara and trigger = BFN
back to TTC naturally on our own hoping for another miracle.
Blog
Thank you everyone.
Blessed and all others who asked. I am already taking Femara and will do TI this cycle if I have no other option, but I really need the IUI.
Will talk to my OB (who is wonderful) and not only get a copy of all my records but see if she can assist me n finding a new RE.
Thanks for making me feel normal again. My IRL friends think I am nuts
You are NOT nuts. You've been through so much and throwing an inconsiderate and unorganized dr into the mix is more than one can tolerate. The sheer number of "I hate my dr" posts this past month is proof of that.
Big hugs, and a huge glass of wine!
This. I'm not usually one to suggest switching drs quickly, but sounds like this one has no clue what's going on with you. Can you look for some recommendations in your area?