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Come in all who love sex- Don't come in if sex topics are TMI to you

Kentuckychick_8201Kentuckychick_8201
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
I need ideas in how to put passion and desire for sex back into our relationship, at least on my end, DH obviously (see post below) has no problems with it.  It still hurts sometimes from were I tore, but that's not really what stops me from having sex more often.  I just can't get in the mood sometimes.  It's like I don't have this passionate desire for DH like I did in the begining of our relationship for lack of a better way to describe it.  Don't get me wrong I have no problem orgasming, and love orgasms but I need to learn to desire DH more.  Any ideas? I hope this post makes at least a little bit of sense.
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Re: Come in all who love sex- Don't come in if sex topics are TMI to you

  • violetvirgovioletvirgo

    honestly i think it's a practice makes perfect thing.  the more i do have sex the more i want sex with dh, kwim?  even if i'm not in the mood, i do it and by the time it's over i can't remember for the life of me WHY i didn't want to in the first place. 

    a glass of red wine never hurt either ;)

     

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  • MexicoBride0507MexicoBride0507
    I can agree with PP, when it has been a while I am not that interested because we do not feel connected.  The more we do it, the better we both feel.  We do get into ruts, and we just work to get out of them.  During our lowest time we both vowed to try and do it once a day for a week, and it cured our low.
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  • blueLu25blueLu25
    I agree with pp. Also, something that always helps me is to put on a cute outfit that makes ME feel really good. And there is no DH in the world that doesnt want to see his wife in lingerie (sp?) :) For ex., my DH loves these knee high, high heeled boots that I have, so sometimes I wear them with some lacy underwear to suprise him. It really helps me get into it to feel confident. Esp if you are not so happy with the pp body, a nice slip, etc will make you feel really sexy! HTH!
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  • sarahtx57sarahtx57 member

    I agree. sometimes you just have to push through it! You learn to get into it.

    also,  go to barnes and nobles and browse through the sex books....or buy some. Buy a steamy novel for yourself. I always take a hot bath before and read something dirty. I find I usually have to work myself into it, most women do. We can't just flip a switch!

    Try something new....start in the morning and send him sext messages all day "can't wait for tonight" "I have something exciting planned"...picture message him a half a boobie shot....lol.

    I find if I think about it all day, but the time I get home I can't wait to jump on him!....whew...speaking of....is it 5 yet??? =)

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  • ladeebriladeebri

    imageMexicoBride0507:
    I can agree with PP, when it has been a while I am not that interested because we do not feel connected.  The more we do it, the better we both feel.  We do get into ruts, and we just work to get out of them.  During our lowest time we both vowed to try and do it once a day for a week, and it cured our low.

    Ditto this and the alcohol part.  I think it just takes more work after baby to get out of your mom/work mindframe and into the sexy wife mindframe these days. Which may mean that you need more couple time than you used to and yes alcohol can help. 

    We did try to 'relive highschool' last week, which was fun.  We were reminiscing about doing it in the car like we did before we moved out, so we marched right down to the garage and did it in the back seat.  lol. good times.

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  • sarahtx57sarahtx57 member
    imageladeebri:

    imageMexicoBride0507:
    I can agree with PP, when it has been a while I am not that interested because we do not feel connected.  The more we do it, the better we both feel.  We do get into ruts, and we just work to get out of them.  During our lowest time we both vowed to try and do it once a day for a week, and it cured our low.

    Ditto this and the alcohol part.  I think it just takes more work after baby to get out of your mom/work mindframe and into the sexy wife mindframe these days. Which may mean that you need more couple time than you used to and yes alcohol can help. 

    We did try to 'relive highschool' last week, which was fun.  We were reminiscing about doing it in the car like we did before we moved out, so we marched right down to the garage and did it in the back seat.  lol. good times.

     

    lol at doing in the car in the garage! That is awesome!!!!!!!!!1 HOT idea!!

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  • ladeebriladeebri
    imagesarahtx57:
    imageladeebri:

    imageMexicoBride0507:
    I can agree with PP, when it has been a while I am not that interested because we do not feel connected.  The more we do it, the better we both feel.  We do get into ruts, and we just work to get out of them.  During our lowest time we both vowed to try and do it once a day for a week, and it cured our low.

    Ditto this and the alcohol part.  I think it just takes more work after baby to get out of your mom/work mindframe and into the sexy wife mindframe these days. Which may mean that you need more couple time than you used to and yes alcohol can help. 

    We did try to 'relive highschool' last week, which was fun.  We were reminiscing about doing it in the car like we did before we moved out, so we marched right down to the garage and did it in the back seat.  lol. good times.

     

    lol at doing in the car in the garage! That is awesome!!!!!!!!!1 HOT idea!!

    ok now im blushingEmbarrassed

    seriously though there was something about it that got us going.  Maybe it was just the different environment or whatever, but we did it in the car like 3xs last week!  Then last night I was giving him the *wink, wink* -"lets go to the car" and he was like, "um, can we do it in the bed tonight?  my back kinda hurts"  lol.  We must be getting older.

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  • violetvirgovioletvirgo
    imagesarahtx57:

    I find if I think about it all day, but the time I get home I can't wait to jump on him!....whew...speaking of....is it 5 yet??? =)

    i know...all this sex talk is making me anxious for dh to come home :)

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  • sarahtx57sarahtx57 member
    imageladeebri:
    imagesarahtx57:
    imageladeebri:

    imageMexicoBride0507:
    I can agree with PP, when it has been a while I am not that interested because we do not feel connected.  The more we do it, the better we both feel.  We do get into ruts, and we just work to get out of them.  During our lowest time we both vowed to try and do it once a day for a week, and it cured our low.

    Ditto this and the alcohol part.  I think it just takes more work after baby to get out of your mom/work mindframe and into the sexy wife mindframe these days. Which may mean that you need more couple time than you used to and yes alcohol can help. 

    We did try to 'relive highschool' last week, which was fun.  We were reminiscing about doing it in the car like we did before we moved out, so we marched right down to the garage and did it in the back seat.  lol. good times.

     

    lol at doing in the car in the garage! That is awesome!!!!!!!!!1 HOT idea!!

    ok now im blushingEmbarrassed

    seriously though there was something about it that got us going.  Maybe it was just the different environment or whatever, but we did it in the car like 3xs last week!  Then last night I was giving him the *wink, wink* -"lets go to the car" and he was like, "um, can we do it in the bed tonight?  my back kinda hurts"  lol.  We must be getting older.

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"um can we do it in bed"...LOL

    ok....we did it on the kitchen counter last night, with my foot propped in the fridge door and it I kep popping the fridge door open....lol.(kinda nice breeze) and I have a GIANT bruise on my tailbone from the counter and I'm sore today!...I couldn't sleep all night from my aches and pains!

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  • *crunchy**crunchy*
    imagevioletvirgo:

    honestly i think it's a practice makes perfect thing.  the more i do have sex the more i want sex with dh, kwim?  even if i'm not in the mood, i do it and by the time it's over i can't remember for the life of me WHY i didn't want to in the first place. 

    a glass of red wine never hurt either ;)

     

    This :) also since having the baby (since she is upstairs a lot) we have a new sexy spot in the house downstairs that has been fun. 

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  • jenifairiesjenifairies

    the only things i have to add other than what's been mentioned is dirty movies, if that's something you can get into. i was always anit-porn because i hate the way i look and think it's kinda skanky, but it's good for a mood starter.

    and just doing it more. once you get going it's okay, right? it's like sleep in the first few months. sex begets sex. :)

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  • *crunchy**crunchy*
    imagejenifairies:

    the only things i have to add other than what's been mentioned is dirty movies, if that's something you can get into. i was always anit-porn because i hate the way i look and think it's kinda skanky, but it's good for a mood starter.

    and just doing it more. once you get going it's okay, right? it's like sleep in the first few months. sex begets sex. :)

    Yes  to the porn

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  • *crunchy**crunchy*
    Kentucky good for you looking for a way to spice things up. You go :)
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