OMFG job offer!! What to do now (tears hair out)

marrymemylove · May 2009

Short version - I got a call 5pm yesterday - would I like to interview today? I had not told the agency I am pregnant because its early, and I hadn't heard from them for ages.

So...went for the interview, thinking, it sounds like a bad fit, probably just practice.

WELL. Offered me the damned job! On the spot. Said they don't care its slightly off my usual field and I've been out of work 3 years. "Yeah a bit rusty maybe but you'll be fine"...want me to meet another partner on Thursday and proposed tentative start date is Monday!???

OK until Thursday it won't be a firm offer but it is nearly.

OMFG.

And here I am, 10 weeks pregnant, told by my OB to expect full time admission to hospital at 26 weeks...caesarian then twins probably in NICU (so lots of pumping).

It breaks my heart to turn it down but I don't see how it could work. I mean, I'll tell them I guess and they'll withdraw t he offer...and there you go. But what if they don't? How can I do those kind of hours? It will be 8:30am starts and 12-14 hour days.

I have a 3 year old. Thankfully my DH is great and has a flexible job and can probably do daycare pickup/dropoff around 8:30am and 5pm so DS won't be tooooo long there. But he'll also have to do evenings and dinner and bedtime most nights.

Oh God..why did I not get this offer before I knew I was pregnant? Then I could have gone in with a clear conscience.

WWYD? Any advice on how to break it to them? I don't want to burn bridges. The project they're hiring for is likely to be an 18 month project... but if I were them I wouldn't like it if someone was going to be out for 3 months or so in the middle (counting the in-patient care and caesarian recovery)...and that's assuming that a combo of DH's summer holiday leave in December and begging our current daycare will lead to TWO spots for the bubs and that they're healthy enough to do that.

tmp-515711125009200 · May 2009

Why would you waste your and their time interviewing for a position you know you're unable to accept?

RoxyLynn · May 2009

I hate to say it, but I don't see how you can accept it knowing that you've got a very lengthy, non-optional leave coming up.

duchess0727 · May 2009

Tell them what's going on - you never know what the situation is. They might still need you if they don't have anyone else to do the work. Can't hurt to be honest - the worst thing they can do is withdraw the offer which you seem prepared for.

ElizC · May 2009

How do you know at 10 weeks you have to be on bedrest at 26 weeks or have NICU babies. Your story confuses me, I think you are making assumptions on a lot of un knowns.

beenbizzy · May 2009

Leaving out the fact that you are pregnant and have a lot of unkowns ahead of you...

Why would you want to accept a job that you said is a bad fit for you? When I have left interviews feeling it was a bad fit, I knew instantly that I would not want the job. Then I turn around and call the people the next day and say thanks, but this isn't right for me and I appreciated the interview.

I would hold tight on applying and interviewing for jobs at this point.

marie0131 · May 2009

i don't see the problem. you said you didn't want the job and only interviewed for practice. why the drama on saying no to something you didn't want in the first place?

azuremama · May 2009

marie0131:
i don't see the problem. you said you didn't want the job and only interviewed for practice. why the drama on saying no to something you didn't want in the first place?

Seriously. You didn't want the job in the first place and said it wouldn't be a good fit, pg and expecting bedrest or not, due to start time and possible 14 hour days. Just because someone offers you a job doesn't mean you have to take it. If they offered it on the spot despite lack of experience in the field and 3 years off of work, I'm guessing they really need someone pronto.

SBMBride406 · May 2009

I'm also confused about why the ob said you will be in antepartum at the hospital at 26 weeks and that your twins will be in the NICU. Are they monoamniotic twins?

weemodin · May 2009

Take the offer. There's still a chance the twins may not be MoMo (keeping my fingers crossed on that one) and you may be fine without bed rest if so.

ElizC · May 2009

SBMBride406:
I'm also confused about why the ob said you will be in antepartum at the hospital at 26 weeks and that your twins will be in the NICU. Are they monoamniotic twins?

I am by no means doctor nor an expect of multiples. Isn't it a little early to have a true mono amniotic diagnosis? Someone I knew personally didn't get official word that they weren't until 24 weeks.

Mango2 · May 2009

Be honest with them about what's going on.

However, you also need to be honest with yourself about the hours. Are you really going to be able to put in 12-14 hour days after the twins are born?

14years · May 2009

First, you should talk to your DH and decide of you want this job. It sounds like you don't. I'm not so sure about 12-14 hour days with 3 kids, 2 of them infants. But, you may want to do it anyway. Second, if you don't want the job, then just tell them that you don't think it's a good fit but appreciate their offer and the time. If you do want it, tell them about your pregnancy and that there's a chance you will be on leave for an extended period of time for medical reasons. Then it's up to them to decide. If you handle if professionally and honestly, then I don't see why you'd have to burn a bridge. Good luck!

marrymemylove · May 2009

Why waste their time? Well the sad fact is if they are momo there's a very high risk I won't even get to 26 weeks. In that case I would grieve my babies terribly but I don't think I'd feel any better moping at home than working. Second, as weemodin said - there's still hope. My OB tells me not to but I can't help it, yes its still possible they'll find the membrane.

I was really asking how to tell them.

I've decided to tell them about just the pregnancy - they must know that things can go wrong and its very early. If they still decide to hire me AND momo is further confirmed at the 12 week scan I'll tell them, it is still within my probation so they could let me go with no black mark then, or I could say I'll give you as long as I've got while you keep looking.

Their need is pretty urgent and while I thought initially it sounded like a bad fit they kind of talked me into the idea I could do it.

I've been looking actively for work for nearly a year. It hurts like hell to turn down $100K+ (somewhere between 100-130 TBA) when money's so tight. AND I've longed to go back to work for so long.

Yes I will feel bad for my 3 year old but its not like its forever. Mums do work - look at you guys! In my profession the hours go with the territory. Any job in my field would have those hours.

shouldbeworkin · May 2009

duchess0727:
Tell them what's going on - you never know what the situation is. They might still need you if they don't have anyone else to do the work. Can't hurt to be honest - the worst thing they can do is withdraw the offer which you seem prepared for.

I agree. They may be looking for someone with your background, your pay scale, etc. and have had trouble filling the spot. So, they may be willing to work with you. Is it something you could do from home if you're on bedrest?

marrymemylove · May 2009

Thanks. Yeah I might be able to work from hospital if I've established myself. I'd be in for monitoring, not sick. I get to wear my own clothes, go out for lunch etc, just have to be there for monitoring when they say.

I'd need to get a locked cabinet or something so I could keep their docs secure in the hospital, that's do-able if they want that.

Even if I end up saying look I'll work for you as long as I am not in hospital - while they keep looking, at least I get some money and some experience in the meantime. Sept seems a while away and they need someone on Monday.

I'm talking to the recruiter in an hour. I'm just going to tell her I'm 10 weeks pg, and obviously its early days, and I think it goes without saying you can't predict what will happen. If they hire me still then after the 12 week scan we have a definite diagnosis then I'll obviously tell them, they could let me go at the end of probation without my having any rights or anything so no skin off their nose and they have me in the meantime.

I think they'll withdraw the offer, I know I would. But hey, its worth asking.

DandR · May 2009

I don't see how your being pregnancy has anything to do with the job. If you want it, take it. If you don't, then don't. Whatever happens in the pregnancy happens...and you are not obligated to tell any employer about your delicate state.

If you aren't going to take any job because of the possibility of momo or the possiblity of bed rest or the possibility of not being able to leave 3, then quit talking to the recruiter and stop FA-REAKKING out over every job offer you are getting.

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OMFG job offer!! What to do now (tears hair out)

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