how do you do it?
Halo79RN
member
We're new to NYC. And boy is the cost of living an adjustment for us! How do you do it? any tips on saving? Dh and I go back and forth on whether we'll stay here (I'm freaked about schools, he's worried about housing- buying... which we cannot do now b/c our non retirement investments have dropped too low for a decent down payment here or anywhere). BLAH! I love the area... when we're both off of work, it's like being on vacation. But we work alternating schedules to avoid daycare expenses... Dd's preschool is so stinkin' expensive (if she went full time it would cost $7K a year... wth??? for 4 and 5 year olds!) Schools freak me out. On one hand I hear the public elem schools are awesome and the catholic schools are overcrowded &the private schools are super expensive. Then I hear Oh no ... kids get lost in the shuffle in public school. Dh keeps looking at houses in NJ... but then we hear taxes are insane there and dh would have to commute while I'd have to take a pay cut (to work there and not commute). I just don't know how people live here... and we have good paying jobs. What do people with so - so paying jobs do? I'm baffled. I'm torn. I love it but I hate it. Part of my problem is that I'm homesick too... and I have no friends here... everyone is friendly... but friends with their family. they don't need new friends.
can anyone perk me up? advice on surviving here? Help.
Re: how do you do it?
Where is your "home" I'm from the west coast...and everyday I miss it
we're headed over there in July and that's all I look forward to. You'll meet people and make tons of friends soon...it just takes time. I didn't have any friends when I moved here...and I have very good friends that are very very close to now.
And about making it financially...it's hard. But you can only do as much as you can do. You just have to do it one day at a time. I guess budgeting is the key. Don't spend money you don't have..is something I learned as I am aging too hahaha
we're from the south. There's definitely more opportunity for our kids up here... there's a ton to do here and that's just a hop, skip and a jump away. that's really appealing. I'm sure the schools are better academically... but I keep hearing that it's all on the child.. that kids get lost in the shuffle here, which is why many send their children to private school. back home we could get a 3 bedroom house with a yard for what I saw a studio apt listed for here recently. I nearly had a heart attack . lol. We're working on the budgeting thing. It's tough. It's frustrating that we have to save up to go home for a visit and won't really get a vacation for a while. We've been hunting out all of the free activities around town. We've just been really stressed out since we've been here.... and it doesn't sound like dh will be getting a raise this year (b/c of the economy... so long as he keeps his job, I'll be happy). I think that's why this has come up again. the probably no raise thing. Makes dh start stressing about finances again. ack!
thanks, t.
HI! You will be fine, a lot of it sounds like you are homesick.....you will adjust. Where exactly are you? in the city?
First, don't move to Jersey.... the taxes are ridiculous...
Second.... I am a teacher, and my DH is an investigator for the govt... we just bought a house that cost 1/2 million dollars, and each month we have like $150 left over for savings.....Anyone I would say early 30s and under got screwed b/c of the housing market. My brother paid $300 for his house like 6 years ago, then the prices SKYROCKETED.
Third... Yes people are friendly, but family is wayyyyy more important.... I am completely guilty of that, but people will come around, you can't be BFF's over night. My husband and I spend most time hanging out with my siblings families than our friends.
As for schools.... I am a Public school teacher here in Staten Island. If you are stressing about money now, you will stress even more if you pay for catholic/private school. I am of course, very biased, but I can't see spending all that money for so many years to get a less qualified teacher giving my kid an education. The major differences in Public and private is taht the public schools will provide extra services if there is a problem academically. The catholic/private schools do not have the resources and usually just turn their backs on those struggling.
Also, if your child is 4 or 5 they are pre-k age, and if you do your research, you can find a UPK site, where it is like Free Daycare. UPK is paid for by the gov't. Most public schools offer 1/2 day UPK, some offer full day. Some private daycares offer it 1/2 and full day too. I would definitly look into that. That way, you can get some normalcy out of your time here, and you might meet other moms. I see lots of families becoming friends when their kids become friends....
HTH...Good Luck!
hi triplenine. thanks for the input. I would feel better if our non retirement investments hadn't tanked and we had a decent down payment for a house. where do you teach on SI? we're on the south end/prince's bay... but both work on the northern part (dh is a professor, I'm a nurse)... commute sucks but I like how quiet the south shore is. I met a mom through dd's preschool who has been here a few years and has no friends. we've planned some playdates. I have friends in NJ, PA, Hudson Valley... and a few a little farther out... but what a pita to have to plan way ahead to get together and not have someone here just to walk with during the week. dh and I work alternating schedules.. which just sucks. but daycare for 2 is INSANE. So we do what we must and I am hopeful to get back into a day shift when the kids go to school. while I look forward to that, I hate to think of speeding things along. I love their ages.... I love it here in theory ... the idea of it... the opportunities for our kids... everything being so close... but a big part of me expected to be closer to my family and friends back home at this stage of our lives... not living here. It's been nearly a year now and I have never felt this blah about living somewhere... and we've moved a bit for dh's career. Like I said.. like a vacation when we're both off of work and can explore.. but most of the time, one of us is working. We're just going through the motions right now. I feel like a slacker b/c I'm not really happy here. I joined a book club to meet people but b/c of our schedules I rarely get to meet up with them. we still need a babysitter. and I am just flat out tired all the time from working nights. If dh had a job offer pop up elsewhere, I'd be very open to moving again (and I'd really like to be settled somewhere... just don't feel settled here).
blah. I'm sure it will get better. I told dh I'd give it a good full year before drawing conclusions... but that anniversary is quickly approaching and I still have mixed feelings.
thanks again... I really just need to vent, I guess.