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pearly1
member
color me ungrateful... (long)
pearly1
member
I had a really nice shower yesterday and I should start by saying that. I received many beautiful thoughtful hand-made gifts, and had a really nice time. But I just have to vent about this one gift I received and I know it makes me sound like a horrible person but I'm ?just frustrated.
A friend of my mom's gave me this huge gift which was a big laundry basket full of stuff attached to a clothesline - you pull the clothesline out and all the stuff is pinned to it. Cute. So the problem is, there was TONS of stuff on it, but none of it was from my registry and ALL of it was taken out of it's packaging so I can't return it. None of it was stuff I need (about a bazillion cheapo onesies, disposable diapers (we're cloth diapering), towels/washcloths, etc) and the kicker is at the end of the rope was a really cheapo bjorn-style carrier. I know she spent a lot of time and money coming up with this gift but it is for the most part useless to me! We have an ergo carrier on our registry and I know she spend more on all this junk than the ergo would have cost.
I feel really bad about feeling ungrateful, but I just need to vent. We have such a small house that we don't have room for extra "stuff", and all our showers are done and we hardly got anything off our registries. So we have a lot of money we still have to spend, and I don't know what to do with all the crap we got that we don't need and can't return.?
Okay, thanks for listening, vent over. 
?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: color me ungrateful... (long)
FWIW, I totally understand how you feel... That having been said, the washclothes may come in handy - you never know. I got a ton of cheap bibs and never thought I'd use them and I go through them constantly.
As for the carrier - you said you have a small house. Is it a two story? If so and you choose to get one of those ladders that help one escape if they're trapped by a fire, you can put that carrier with the ladder. That way, should you have to use it, you have a way to get both you and baby out of the fire. It was a safety suggestion at one of my parenting classes.
Anway - just some thoughts to help make lemonade out of a lemony situation.
I do know what your are saying about not getting things off of your registry. But do try to wait till your baby gets here and see what you really need and want. I have a cheapo carrier we used it camping and only once. And cheap onsies make great undershirts maybe under a dress if your having a girl or for a back up to have in the diaper bag. And dispososible diapers again good for a what if situation or you could donate the stuff to charity.
Just don't go spending a ton to get the stuff on your registry just to get it. I am glad I didn't because a lot of the stuff "I thought I had to have" I didn't miss and didn't need.
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
That's a really really really really good idea. ?
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
That stinks! I think the importance of a registry is overlooked a lot of times, especially if the person never had kids or has never used one. I know I am guilty of not using registries before I had kids. I didn't realize new parents NEED items and don't necessarily want my thoughtful, creative gift!!
I was going to suggest trying to sell some of it on craig's list....or giving to friends...or maybe donating it. I know this doesn't help with the stuff you still need to buy on your own, but at least you might be able to help out someone who can't afford any baby items.
Oh, and I agree with the other comment about not buying too much until you see what you really need....there are things we bought that we definitely could have gone without.
Thanks for all your responses. The ideas for donating the things I don't end up using does make make me feel better.
So, I looked at my registry and made a list of the things that I think we're really going to need from the get-go. Would you mind looking at it and telling me if you think I can wait on any of it? Thanks!
*carseat
*stroller adaptor for carseat
*diaper bag
*diaper champ
*nursing pads & cream
*changing pad
*mattress pad
*crib sheets & sheet saver
*monitor
*diaper covers for cloth diapers?
Exactly what I was thinking. Especially the diapers.
Washclothes make great cloth wipes.
I am sorry that the purpose of a registry was over looked, they are there so people can see your true needs. When I do a clothesline gift, I only buy seperates for that reason (socks excluded - you never have enough socks, so its not like they are going to be returned).
It definitely does suck when people don't get you things you need from your registry... I almost regret telling people we were having a girl, because we got more pink clothes than we could possibly put her in before she outgrew them, and only about 1/3 of the baby gear we really needed and had to get out-of-pocket. I know people mean well, but it's definitely sucky when that happens.
I think you should save the washcloths, and the onesies to put in diaper bags, and donate the rest of the stuff. If you really can't stand the onesies, donate them too. That's what I did with a lot of clothes I got as a gift but just couldn't stand to put DD in. There are so many people who could benefit from a donation of diapers and baby stuff, that's for sure. As long as it goes to a good cause, I wouldn't feel bad about it. She doesn't have to know you did that, after all!
IMHO of your list here are the things that we used and didn't use.
*carseat A must had to have at hospital before we left.
*stroller adaptor for carseat Nice but not 100% necessary. DS grew out of infant seat by 6 months.
*diaper bag Yes, still use ours today. I have a skip hop it was about 50.00. I don't think a 200 diaper bag is necessary. Not saying that is what you have on your list but I know some people spend a lot on them. I didn't want to spend over 60 on mine.
*diaper champ For me I use this daily I have a Diaper Genie. So this is a must for us.
*nursing pads & cream I had it but tossed it after 4 months. I didn't use the cream at all and didn't use the pads much.
*changing pad For me this was a must we have a dresser/changer and the pad is on top.
*mattress pad We have one but it is not nesessary. The matress we have is plastic covered and the pad has plastic on it as well so it is just another layer. Not necessary for us.
*crib sheets & sheet saver Needed I have 4 of them but could totally do with just 2 or 3. And Sheet saver was a waste for us. I used it for a month or 2 then stopped. It was a pain to use every time I changed the sheets and again the matress had plastic so no moisture got on it.
*monitor If you have a small house like you mentioned it is 50/50 on needing one. We got a cheap fisher price lights and sound private connection one about 30.00 at target it works fine. And I could always hear DS crying anyway we had a small house as well. For me a video moniter was not important. If I wanted to see DS I would just go in his room and check on him. Babies sleep very soundly and even loud noises didn't wake him up until just recently. Our moniter had plug in option instead batteries which was important to me to not use a lot of batteries.
*diaper covers for cloth diapers Not sure on this one we used disposable. I would think you would need these right away.
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
If you're cloth diapering, I don't think you want/need a diaper champ. We're using one of these and hanging it from our closet door.
https://www.amazon.com/Blueberry-Diaper-Pail-Liner-Laundry/dp/B000H8ED6C/ref=pd_sbs_ba_1
I think you have every right to be frustrated. And this is what I fear when it comes to my showers is not getting everything that I know we need. I too was going to suggest craigslist or donating to a womans shelter with the stuff you don't use. But like others have said, wait to really see what you don't use. You could surprise yourself.
With your list I think the carseat is a must, along with diaper pads and sheets. Our mattress we have also has a plastic covering like Annette was saying so we aren't getting the mattress saver pads. And I am not getting any cream or nursing pads. Most people I know have never really used them and there are other things you can use for chaiffed nipples then the cream that works just as well that you may already have at home. We aren't getting a changing pad because when my brothers and sisters were growing up, I can't honestly ever remember my Mom having one and we would just lay a blanket down and change away. So for me it seems like a waste of money. And we put a cheap monitor on our registery, but our house is smaller too, but DH sleeps with the fans on at night and our room is on the other end of the apt so it's hard to hear things. HTH! And hang in there. You will have all you need once baby comes. It all seems to work out just right in the end.
I agree with PPers in waiting to see what you'll need, aside from what's above. I've found some stuff really, really usefull and other stuff not so much. For example, I didn't find much purpose in registering for CDs, since we use disposable, but my SIL made me. We got them, and have ended up buying even more packages because we use them as burp rags and Miss M is soooo spitty.
You just never know how your baby is going to be
youll use the cheap washcloths and towels... babies are messy.
I think your list of must haves is good. Did you get the infant insert for the Ergo? Or a Moby wrap or something for when he/she's little? The Moby doesn't cost much more than the infant insert, and i liked having the different options.
I'm not sure a Diaper Champ would be good for cloth diapering?
jammies, little hats, swaddling blankets, burp cloths (cheapo cloth diapers work great), and that's what I can think of.
Thanks for all the feedback.
I didn't register for baby washcloths and towels b/c I have a huge bag of old/stained but soft ones I've been collecting. I think the cute ones with frogs and giraffes seem like a waste of $. Oh well, I guess I'll use the cute ones too.
?Making some into cloth wipes is a good idea.?
I looked into the diaper pail situation and it turns out the diaper service we're using provides a bucket, so you're right, we don't need the champ.
I think we need a mattress pad b/c we got an ikea mattress which is not vinyl coated.?
Jill, we got a hand me down moby which we'll use this summer but I think we'll want the Ergo once the baby can hold up his head. DH isn't so good with wrapping and strapping - he needs something easy. Figured we wouldn't shell out extra for the ergo infant insert though.?
I think I want the monitor so I can be outside while the baby is napping. I used to use one in that situation a lot when I babysat and I felt like I had a lot more freedom that way.
Annette - Which skip*hop do you have? We're registered for the duo deluxe but I just wasn't sure which one was best. I don't think we need anything too huge, but want something big enough if you know what I mean.?
I have this one and got it from Macys on sale. I really like it. It is big enough for all of the stuff we carry and fits on the back of the stroller easy and cleans off easy being a kind of vynal and not fabric. It has a diaper changing pad and 2 bottle holders. Somtimes I throw my wallet in it and only carry1 thing with me when I am shopping.
https://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=308602&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
Pearly,
I don't know where you live, but there is a non-profit organization in Issaquah called Eastside Baby Corner. They take new and gently used children's items. They are a great org and donate all over the state. They are always in need of baby items, especially diapers and formula. I could send you their info, or you could just google Eastside Baby Corner.
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
What size are the disposable diapers? I'm thinking if they are not newborn size you can make a couple emergency kits (car and house) with diapers in them, just in case you run out of cloth or in a situation where you can't use them.
Weren't you thinking about camping? I would not camp with cloth diapers just because you would have to pack all the dirty/poo diapers home with you. That's just me, if you are comfortable with packing cloth around, then do it!
Like I said, I feel really guilty about feeling ungrateful. I'm so sorry you won't be having a shower - it must be really hard to be away from your family. All of my extended family is across the country too, and I feel so lucky that I have some old friends here to celebrate the baby. ?
Obviously, you need the carseat. I LOVED our carseat stroller adapter, but our daughter used the infant seat for over 14 months. Still, if you have a carrier, you can just wear the baby on walks and errands. You COULD skip the diaper bag, if you had a backpack or tote that you didn't mind using. But it'd be nice to have! Forget the diaper champ. If you end up not liking the diaper service and do cloth diapers you wash at home, there are washable, waterproof bags that fit beautifully into cheap kitchen trash cans, or even hang from door knobs. If you're using diaper service diapers, you probably will want some of those disposable diapers, especially overnight. And a few covers are a MUST with prefolds. And, if you use more disposable diapers than you expected, honestly the diapers don't smell that bad for 6 months, so your kitchen trash can is fine, unless you have a dog who likes to eat trash.
Forget the changing pad. Fold up some of those towels and use the floor. So many kids, once they start rolling, are impossible to change on the changing pad ANYWAY, you could end up regretting the purchase.
Nursing pads are probably necessary, maybe not the cream, but one tube and one box of pads won't bankrupt you.
Mattress pad is skipable, especially if you have a sheet saver. Frankly, we never used ours. Daughter was colicky and we slept sitting up in a chair or with her in our bed until she was 18 months.
Forget the monitor. If your kid goes to sleep, you won't be outside sipping drinks or doing yard work, at least not this summer. You'll be sleeping, or pumping, or staring at the wall trying to remember your name! ;-) By next summer, your kid will be old enough to scream for you through an open window.
Also, check out consignment shops, used baby stuff boutiques, Craig's List, and Freecycle. I wanted everything for my first to be new and pristine, and now I wish I'd bought everything used and saved myself some money, because she grew out of everything so fast!
Good luck!
hmmm.. we still use the changing table and the changing pad. And Ben's 2 1/2. I wouldn't want to be kneeling down on the floor changing a baby in the middle of the night when you're all sore from delivery/childbirth/c-section/whatever.
And I don't think you'll want to carry the baby everywhere, so I would make sure to have some sort of stroller that works for the newborn stage. Are you talking about the Snap n Go? You can find them on CL pretty often. Or, if you get one new, you can sell yours in 6 months when you're done with it for about 75% of what you bought it for.
I never needed nursing pads, but I'm a freak of nature.
And I really needed the monitor. I think you WILL want to go outside during naps. You are a gardener. You will want your zen peace out there. I was never very good at napping when Ben napped. Also, I can't hear Ben in our room in the night. So I need the monitor. It also lets me fall ALL the way to sleep because I'm not worried I'll miss it if he wakes up. I have a video monitor and I LOVE It. I think its' worth getting the video monitor personally - see if you can find one on CL. Especially if you're trying t get them to start sleeping longer and you are trying to figure out if you should go in or if they're just makign a squawk but arent' really awake. It's nice to see what they're doing. But, you can wait on it it probably and just see what your needs are.
But definitely look at CL for a lot of this stuff...