Did you tell others you're trying?

AllieBelle1 · May 2009

I am SO excited that my husband has agreed to start trying for a baby soon. However, my dilemma stems from the fact that when we got married almost 4 years ago, we did not plan on having children. Our parents and many friends knew this. And now, over time, we have changed our plans and are looking forward to parenthood. We have hinted at a more positive outlook on having children, but I'm afraid others might assume it was an accident and be shocked (particularly my parents) or not be as happy for us. But I feel uncomfortable coming out and saying we are trying for a baby.

So my question is, did you specifically tell your parents and others you are trying to conceive? What are your thoughts on our situation?

MiniMir · May 2009

No, I don't want the added pressure. I think it is really rude for people to ask if a pregnancy was an accident. Ours won't be, but I still plan to say "It doesn't matter, this baby is wanted"

mrsadamc 05 · May 2009

I told my mom, sister and SIL (who is my best friend) that we are starting this summer.

You guys are married so they know you are having sex, I think your parents would be excited to be grandparents. I also think if you are excited when you tell them they will be excited.

Mrs.Paws · May 2009

DH told his brother and sister-in-law (who just had a baby two weeks ago). I was totally fine with him telling them. It has actually been really good for him to have folks to talk to about everything. His sister-in-law charted and in some way that made it "normal" as opposed to "over the top." Otherwise, we aren't telling anyone (although I might have to tell someone -- but that is for a later post). I don't want anyone asking how it is going or otherwise inquiring. I've seen friends struggle TTC and they all advised against telling too many people.

Alex17 · May 2009

We did not tell anyone we were TTC. I don't want people all up in my businees. TTC can be a long and frusterating process for some people and I didn't want the added pressure.

It took us 9 months to get KU and I am so glad I didn't have people breathing down my neck at that time.

Your situation is a little different since people assume you don't want kids. But take what I said into consideration.

Gingham · May 2009

We've been trying for 3 months and haven't told anyone. Not even my mom, which is weird cuz she's my best friend. I guess we just want it to be a big surprise when we do get pregnant!

KK2004 · May 2009

No, we didn't share with anyone because we didn't want the added pressure either. When we had the m/c only my mother and BFF knew, other than DH of course.

nova & paul · May 2009

Every single person who knows us knows we have been trying. Fortunatly not one person has annoyed us w/ stupid, rude or just unwanted advice.

you can always tell them once your k/u how excited that you are since you had been trying.

christykell · May 2009

We did not/will not tell anyone we're trying because

a) we don't think it's really anyone's business

b) they're all wondering when baby ckell will be coming around, so we think it'll be more fun/surprising to say "we're pregnant!" rather than "we're trying!"

ilovetolaugh · May 2009

We're not telling parents or anything. I told my sister who is my best friend, but thats it. I dont want people asking me if i'm ku yet.

Carebear1517 · May 2009

Congrats, that's very exciting news that you both want to TTC! If I were you I would definitely tell your family, I'm sure they would be very supportive and happy for you both!

My DH and I were going to wait for awhile to tell our families we were TTC but we couldn't hide it. It' so much fun talking to them about someday having a baby and to see how excited they get.

So again, I would definitely tell them, just talk to them about why you changed your minds and I guarantee they'll be so excited.

Joeypnut · May 2009

We haven't told anyone (well randomly one of DH's cousins asked at a wedding we were at and we told him... my side doesn't know), and I think I would feel pressured otherwise. I already feel enough pressure from all of the girls I know getting KU, I don't need other people waiting and asking. I am sure they can guess we are trying. In fact I think they would have to be stupid to not guess.

UMichGirl · May 2009

Only 2 of my girlfriends know, and both of them are TTC too. (Actually, one succeeded and is now 15 weeks pregnant).

I get anxious and want to tell my parents just about every cycle that we're trying. Then I get a BFN and/or AF shows, and I'm so glad we didn't say anything. As it is, I feel bad that DH and I have to be disappointed every month...I'd hate to take my parents down that road too. I want it to be a complete surprise when we announce we're PG! I think my parents and DH's mom have a sneaking suspicion we're trying but they haven't come out and asked and I don't think they will...we'll keep it quiet until we have something to share!

However...I know some people don't tell about their pregnancy until they're several weeks along or even into their 2nd trimester. While we'll do that with extended friends and family, we plan on telling our parents ASAP!

ourlove4ever · May 2009

I told my close friends at work that we would be tring this summer, everyone else has an idea that it will happen somtime within the next year....but I have not told my parents, we are very close with them but I just want to suprise them.

Bernadette Newman · May 2009

Congratulations and best of luck on your TTC journey. I did tell two of my girlfriends just so I could ask them questions and have their support. We have not told anyone else especially our families. DH and I want it to be a surprise when we tell them.

hainesherway · May 2009

We've told our parents and a few really close friends.

Kelly820 · May 2009

I've told my best friend, but that's b/c I don't want DH to get sick of me talking about it/wanting to talk about it all the time. Other than that, we aren't telling anyone. I don't want people to ask me, and then me get upset.

M&M&R · May 2009

We have told nearly everyone and now wish we wouldn't have. ?Everyone is asking if we're pregnant yet...all of the time. ?It is the topic of every family get together and I've even gotten several texts from DH's mom that say, "Any news yet?" ?Just make sure that you really think about it before spreading the word. ?Good luck!

MamaFantastic · May 2009

i've told my closer friends we're planning on trying in july and my parents know too. they're the only ones who will listen to me jabber about how excited i am that we're only a handful of weeks away now. other people who ask get "probably within a year or so" or "we want to some day" depending on how well i know them. i don't think i'd tell my other relatives because they just don't need to know. they can find out after the fact.

in general i'm a very open person with my personal business so telling people in advance doesn't stress me out.

JennLuvsMatt · May 2009

No because I don't want people asking me all the time if I'm pregnant yet. I had a m/c in Dec and surgery to remove fibroids in March so if people ask me now I just tell them that my dr told me I had to wait a few more months. Hopefully by then I'll be pregnant and it won't matter.

goteamgo · May 2009

Well, my sister and I were both surprises (accidents), so I really don't see the big deal if people think that. My parents are stellar, either way.

You can just tell them that trying was your secret, and that this was planned.

We've only told people when it came up, we never just offered it up.

boxie · May 2009

My mom knows. And get this! She told me not to worry until at least a year. I love that my mom is so wise and wonderful.

Mrs.BoomBoom · May 2009

We told but I wish we hadn't. It hasn't been long but it's weird for others to know we're trying. Neither of us are good at keeping secrets though.

high_hopes · May 2009

My sister was the only who knew we were actively TTC. Our parents & friends knew we wanted a baby not TOO long after getting married (May 2008) & that ideally it would be after my DH graduated (May 1 of this year). I personally didn't think it was anyone's business, plus if it took awhile (luckily only 4 cycles for us) I didn't want everyone asking.

SchaalBWife · May 2009

Hey,?

We're in the same boat. ?We were not going to have children, and I was certain on that! ?But then all of the sudden things changed and I wanted a baby, and I wanted a baby NOW! ?When you want something NOW, it never happens that way. ?I did tell my Mom and some close friends... I wish I didn't! ?My Mom asks me all the time if I'm pregnant yet, she asks me if I'm having sex with DH (ewe when that questions comes from Mom). ?We were even over for dinner last night and she told us we should leave early to go home and have sex. ?You should have seen DH's face... ? Just be careful who you tell... ?

Married2MrWright · May 2009

DH and I also thought we'd always be DINKS and all of our friends and family knew it. In recent months, we've changed our minds and started to TTC. We have told our family and close friends...we've also made it clear that when we have BFP news to share, we will. I appreciate having their support and don't feel pressure about it. I will be 35 this year and most have been asking for years if we were going to do it or not. So...in our case, it was actually less pressure for us just to answer the question and say, "yes!"

Everyone is different, do what's right for you! BTW, to give you a little insight on my family, when DH and I announced our engagement after dating for 6 years and living together for 4, a few members of my family asked, "are you pregnant?" as if that would be the only reason for us to finally tie the knot!

MagPie08 · May 2009

I refuse to tell anybody. I even sort of lied about it to my sister the other day & said I think we're going to wait "a while". I'm weird about that stuff. I'd rather everybody just be surprised.?

ZeeDesertStar · May 2009

We haven't officially told anyone in our families, but I'm pretty sure at least the parents figure we are trying, because it's no secret we want kids. When we first started TTC it was exciting and I wanted to tell people, but as it goes along I really don't want to talk about it much, so it helps that people don't know we are trying.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · May 2009

I've told a few friends and my mom, but nobody else.

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