VENT (long)-son's teacher is a b*tch!

lbittma80 · May 2009

My son is in 5th grade. Never had any problems until this year. He has a form of high functioning Autism and among issues has a hard time with organization, staying focused and social skills with his peers. He has an "IEP" that basically outlines what they need to do to assist him in the classroom

His teacher regularly fails to follow the IEP (not following the organizational plan, not re-directing, etc.) and then blames him for "refusing" to do his classwork. She also takes ample opportunities to single him out and humiliate him in front of the class.

Perfect example-they worked on a project during class for the last month and he did not complete it-didn't even start it. He says he lost his first set of instructions and was told he would not be receiving another set by his teacher. She felt she should go on and tell the other students not to share their copies with him, that he needs to learn. It gets better, I found out about it last week and sent an email to her, copying her boss, etc. and said to send home another copy and that he would do it from home and have it turned in by May 15th, she agreed. Amazingly she was able to send home another set of instructions last week. So my son gets home today and says that he was punished during recess by his teacher and told to "do laps" around the field-told in front of the other students because he didn't turn in the assignment yet. B*tch, I told you he would have it done by May 15th! In writing!

Best part of today-my son is VERY close to his Grandma. She came to visit over the weekend (she lives out of state), and left this morning. He was very sad and I sent a note just explaining the situation just in case. Well he got emotional after reading a message his Grandma left for him in his assignment book. He tried to cover his eyes with his hand and his teacher told him to put his hand down in front of the class. He then tried to cover his eyes with his shirt and she told him to knock it off.

There have been other instances where he's been singled out in front of the class and embarrassed. I've reported each one to her supervisor (the assistant principal) and copied her on it as well. My son has become withdrawn and dreads going to school now. I don't want to send him anymore either.....

Thanks for reading or scanning this....

purple_posies · May 2009

I would like to personally throat-punch that b*tch.

IEPs are there for a reason. Is there no disciplinary action for a teacher who refuses to follow them?

That's terrible.

HotDish! · May 2009

Your poor son. It's such a shame that one teacher can make a child's whole school experience miserable. Unfortunately not all teachers are good at what they do, I think it takes a very special person to be a good teacher. It must break your heart to see your son have to deal with this.

mAnYaSha · May 2009

you cant put kindness in one's heart, but you can look for one that has it

Shlei · May 2009

Wow, that would royally tick me off. Does the supervisor ever tell you anything in response? I just think it's so wrong to treat an autistic child like this (or any child for that matter). She is pretty evil.

Mrs_mam · May 2009

That sucks. My mom had the same problem with one of my brother's elementary school teachers. He has ADHD and she was trying to keep him off of medication. She went through and had all of the forms done and went over the requirements with his teacher and the principle, and the teacher didn't follow through with any of them. I realize it's extra work for the teacher to have to do all of this, but in cases like this they are actually required to by law- that's why you go through the effort to get the form and the requirements!

Good for you for keeping up on it. My brother is on medication now and is doing so much better, but he hated school for a long time because that teacher was so awful to him. He also embarassed him in front of the class. Why do adults do that to kids, especially teachers?

JewelzNBean · May 2009

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I have heard similar horror stories from families like yours and I understand that it is a struggle to find a teacher who really 'gets it' and can make a positive experience for EVERYONE in the classroom.

I wish I could help, but know that your vent has been heard!! Wishing you the best in finding something that is right for your son!

emlady · May 2009

I am so sorry. At least the year is almost over, not that that is any consolation for the struggle you've been dealing with ALL year. I hope next year he gets a better teacher and if not you are able to transfer him or something.

edwins_girl · May 2009

I agree with PP that that b*tch needs a serious throat punch! It's just not right though- your child (hell, no child) should have to endure that kind of torture. That teach seriously needs to be reprimanded. On the plus side, at least the school year is almost over, right?

lbittma80 · May 2009

Shlei:
Wow, that would royally tick me off. Does the supervisor ever tell you anything in response? I just think it's so wrong to treat an autistic child like this (or any child for that matter). She is pretty evil.

We've met with him in the past about some of the other issues -we even wanted to have him switched to another classroom which they decided against-and I think he just got sick of me because I've sent emails, left voicemails this week and have gotten nothing.

one_more_girl · May 2009

Throat punch is right! I can't imagine how hard that is for your son , and for you to know that she is picking on him this way

I would be documenting every single instance and take this to her boss and demand she be disciplined. I don't understand why people like this choose to be teachers. Makes me sick. Good luck!

MattresMuffin69 · May 2009

I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm sorry his teacher is being a douche. Can you go higher up than the asst. principal about her?

Kendall13 · May 2009

That is terrible! My sister had ADD and had a hard time in school when she had a teacher that didn't try to work with her. I think that my mom ended up getting her switched from one teacher to another on year because of it.

Your son sounds so sweet. I feel so bad that his teacher is so horrible to him!

Mrs.C042807 · May 2009

I don't know about where you live, but here an IEP is a legal document that MUST be followed. By not doing so the teacher is breaking the law.

If the principal won't do something about it, go over his head.

CalinsBride · May 2009

Wow. I would be discussing that with her supervisor ASAP. That is NOT acceptable treatment of any student, let alone one you know needs to be treated a certain way in order to succeed. I really feel that she is discriminating against your son and purposely trying to stop him from succeeding. I would not stand for that.

thatgirlang · May 2009

I am SO sorry. As a teacher, this makes me very sad. Please force the issue with the administrators. It's unfair to your son and you.

icyblueeyez19 · May 2009

I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.

lbittma80 · May 2009

icyblueeyez19:
I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.

NCLB has nothing to do with IEPs or how teachers should treat students with disabilities. It's all about standardized testing.

IselaCid · May 2009

I haven't even read the other responses. But here are my suggestions as a Special Ed teacher and Case Manager. ...Are you documenting? Get all of this down in writing ASAP. Then send a note, in writing or email, CC it to admin requesting an IEP as soon as possible. They have to hold one within 30 days. She is not only not following the IEP, she is simply not following IDEA and is not following the law. Get an advocate if you need one. Is there another 5th grade class your son can get into? One with a better qualified teacher that knows how to work with students with IEPs? Has a specialist consulted with her?

IselaCid · May 2009

lbittma80:
icyblueeyez19:
I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.
NCLB has nothing to do with IEPs or how teachers should treat students with disabilities. It's all about standardized testing.

Exactly. Her son has every right to be included in a gen ed classroom. It's in IDEA not NCLB and it's called the Least Restrictive Environment.

If the Admis is ignoring you, start CCing the district.

J&MsMom · May 2009

I'm a SPED teacher and I will tell you that you have a lot of legal reasons to demand action. First, that child's disability is confidential and if he is singled out for any reason that is illegal. Second, an IEP is a legally binding document. If it is not being followed it is your right to find out why not. You can go to the county SPED dept. I am sure there is a compliance dept. You also have the right to call an IEP meeting at any time so you can bring the team in and look at any problems.

A few questions, is he in a gen. ed. class? He he receiving pull out support? Is he the only special needs student in the class?

meanbearkitty · May 2009

I'm so sorry that your son has a teacher like that. Is his special ed teacher or casemanager following through to make sure that his goals and accommodations are being met? It's his or her job to make sure that the regular ed teacher is doing what she's supposed to to meet his needs during class. Also, you have a right to call an IEP meeting whenever you like - do it if you think his IEP isn't being followed. Again, I'm sorry that you and your son have to go through this.

ljlkm · May 2009

Wow. Just...wow. I assume your DS has Asperger's? I can only begin to imagine how far back this teacher's behavior is going to set him back--which is a huge shame. Especially since it sounds like he's been doing really well up until now. I guess it's a good thing the school year is almost up. Do you usually meet with your son's teacher's before the year? It might be a good idea--maybe you can get a sense of whether an individual teacher will work with your son?

icyblueeyez19 · May 2009

lbittma80:

icyblueeyez19:
I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.

NCLB has nothing to do with IEPs or how teachers should treat students with disabilities. It's all about standardized testing.

You said that your child as high functioning autism and problems with organization and things like that. What Im saying is that there are specialized classes with teachers who are trained specifically to teach children who have learning disabilities. Your child might actually learn and benefit more if he was in a class where he was given individualized attention instead of in a class with 32 other kids.

J&MsMom · May 2009

Oh honey, I see you are at Ft. Belvoir. Is your child in a Fairfax County school? If he is, let me tell you that you have A LOT of power. The county is sued so much that if there is even a hint that things aren't right someone will be kissing your a$$ to make sure it's fixed. I should know I work in the county!

IselaCid · May 2009

icyblueeyez19:
lbittma80:

icyblueeyez19:
I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.

NCLB has nothing to do with IEPs or how teachers should treat students with disabilities. It's all about standardized testing.

You said that your child as high functioning autism and problems with organization and things like that. What Im saying is that there are specialized classes with teachers who are trained specifically to teach children who have learning disabilities. Your child might actually learn and benefit more if he was in a class where he was given individualized attention instead of in a class with 32 other kids.

I'm sorry, but Day Classes are not the answer. This student has the right and the ability to be included with the other gen ed kids. There should be a case manager to co-teach in this classroom or at the very least an assistant...but a separate classroom with 12 other kids that behave the same way is not always or even usually the way to go. I teach Day Class and have co-taught in gen ed classes...I know.

nicoleob · May 2009

I would contact all parties who were involved in planning your sons IEP to report whats going on. Also, When was his last IEP review meeting? or do you have one coming up? In addition, check your states DOE website for information on rights etc... You might want to contact an Ed advocate as well. I work in a behavioral/therapeutic special ed classroom. This sounds like your sons eduacational needs are not only being neglected but flat out abused!

icyblueeyez19 · May 2009

IselaCid:
icyblueeyez19:
lbittma80:

icyblueeyez19:
I dont mean to be a *** or anything, but this is the problem with the whole "No Child Left Behind". If your son has all these problems mentioned, then he should be in a class that is smaller and can provide more individualized attention to each student. My mom is a 3rd grade teacher and she says how hard it is all the time for children with dissabilities to keep up and that other children cannot accelerate b/c 1 or 2 children. I agree, the teacher should have been a little more considerate of your sons situation with his grandmother, kids get upset about things like that and it is completely understandable. I just know that if it was my child, I would want them to be in a specialized class. Again, I am not trying to be rude or inconsiderate in any way, I just think that children with learning issues need more individualized attention.

NCLB has nothing to do with IEPs or how teachers should treat students with disabilities. It's all about standardized testing.

You said that your child as high functioning autism and problems with organization and things like that. What Im saying is that there are specialized classes with teachers who are trained specifically to teach children who have learning disabilities. Your child might actually learn and benefit more if he was in a class where he was given individualized attention instead of in a class with 32 other kids.

I'm sorry, but Day Classes are not the answer. This student has the right and the ability to be included with the other gen ed kids. There should be a case manager to co-teach in this classroom or at the very least an assistant...but a separate classroom with 12 other kids that behave the same way is not always or even usually the way to go. I teach Day Class and have co-taught in gen ed classes...I know.

Your exactly right, there should be a case manager or assistant who specializes with children with special needs in his class, but that doesnt sound like the case. All I am saying is that I would much rather my child be in a specialized class if there was not a way to have a case manager or assistant in a general education classroom.

cjseeger · May 2009

There has already been a lot of response to your post but being a Special Ed. teacher and once being in the general ed. classroom, your story frustrates me. First because a teacher, a professional, is being so insensitive and it makes me also wonder why your son's Special Ed. teacher/case manager isn't more involved. There has some great advice already given, but I would like to add my 2 cents. There is an organization called PACER that you can contact and they will help you advocate for your child's rights. Good Luck and don't stop fighting until you are satisfied with your son's education!

MissesJames · May 2009

I can tell you, as a teacher myself, that there are too many people in our profession that do not belong there. It is sad and scary that people like that have such an impact on our children's lives and don't know it or don't care. Don't take it! Do everything you can to get the best, positive educational experience for your son. There are good teachers out there!

TexasLadyBug · May 2009

Are you just sending e-mails or have you gone in to speak with the principal face to face? Also, you can write a e-mail explaining what is going on, what has gone on, what you have done, and what is or is not being done. Copy this e-mail to the teacher, her boss (the principal) and then his/her boss the district super.?

This is NOT ok, I work with kids who have IEP's and I get so upset when I hear about these stories. I would at this point set up a face to face meeting with the principal if you have no already done so. If you have then I would set up an ARD meeting to go over these issues will all staff dealing with the IEP, last I would go speak with the district supervisor. ?

NManger · May 2009

I would file a FORMAL complaint with the committe on Special Education in your school district...and if that goes nowhere contact your lacal educational advocacy center for help...That is not fair...and will only teach him to hate school.

aspade · May 2009

I would say ENOUGH with the emails and voice mails not being returned. I'm a teacher (out on ML now), and I'm APPALLED at the lack of professionalism both the teacher and the school administration are showing here. You not only need to go over their heads, but you need to do it IN PERSON and immediately.

I remember my third grade teacher made me stand in the trash can at one point, in front of the class. Nothing like telling a kid she's trash! My mom came down and told her off in front of my class. It's still one of the coolest things my mom has ever done. I'm not saying you should do that, but enough with being the nice guy here. That teacher should be fired for humiliating your child.

You're definitely in the right here!!

LoveEeyore · May 2009

She is a b*tch, but worse she is violating your child's basic rights as outlined in idea. Please send this email now:

Dear Ms.____,

It has come to my attention that there are monumental lapses between Sean's IEP- to which you are legally bound- and implementation. I understand that things can be challenging when dealing with Sean, particularly in a large class, however, since his IEP team felt the goals, objectives and classroom accomodations were appropriate, I am not sure why implementation is a problem, however would like the situation resolved immediately.

As a member of the IEP team, I am requesting that an IEP meeting be called immediately, prior to the end of the school year. Please let me know at your earliest convenience, some dates that work for you.

Thank you so much for your time and attention to this urgent manner.

SIncerely,

_____

Then contact https://www.peatc.org/ and https://www.poac.net/ and get an advocate to attend with you. It's BS. As an advocate and a former sped teacher dealing with PITA attitudes, you need to make it clear that you won't let this continue. Your son faces some REAL challenges as he goes to middle school and you need to have the rep as a tough mom before you get there. I cry for my kiddos when they have to transition to MS.

LoveEeyore · May 2009

And I recommend sitting down and documenting everything you can. Are you in FCPS?

karin&ben · May 2009

I hear your pain! My daughter doesn't have any disabilities or anything, but she was a happy, top of her class kind of kid prior to 3rd grade. She was only in school for 2 months when I could see the change in her. She didn't want to go to school anymore, didn't want to do her homework, nothing. At her first conference, her teacher was pretty negative and caught me completely off guard, since she had never had problems before. They acted as if she was disruptive and asked too many questions (which I stupidly encourage, I want my kids to be feel comfortable asking for help). I asked her (the teacher) what was going on because she wasn't the same girl I knew since starting the school year and the lady played dumb. The rest of the year was pretty much the same, they even told me they thought she would be held back in the fourth grade, but passed her anyway.
I say they because she had two teachers who shared a contract (so they could spend more time at home with their new babies) and switched their schedule every week to suit their life.

My daughter would also tell me that in square dancing, she would get yelled at for making noise, when it was the boys next to her etc. It was like her little spirit was broken.

My daughter is pretty smart, quite an old soul. Adults love her, which works put great since she prefers them. It just turned out these two didn't like her. When she was in the fourth grade. her teacher loved her and she blossomed again. This teacher knew about her last year (my older daughter had her the year prior and I discussed it with her) and told me she looked at her cumulative file because she was curious and actually told me that you could tell the 3rd grade teachers didn't like her. She said it was sad that some teachers just don't like a kid, and it can follow them.

All I know is, she is now in the 5th grade, and still doing great. I am thankful that her 4th grade teacher was so wonderful. It angers me that some teachers can't set aside their personal feelings and do the job they are paid to do. They have such an impact on a child. and can really do some damage to them.

Let me add I am so thankful to all of the excellent teacher my girls have had. They helped make them who they are today. I am so sorry your son is going through this, especially at this point in grade school. I also apologiing for rambling on. I still haven't gotten over it. It sounds like the ladies here have given you some helpful advice though. I hope it gets better.

hula_lula · May 2009

I'm so sorry your son is going through this and that you're dealing with it all. It makes me want to cry, the way she's treating him. It's completely unacceptable

((hugs for you and your son))

icyblueeyez19 · May 2009

Karin&Ben:

I hear your pain! My daughter doesn't have any disabilities or anything, but she was a happy, top of her class kind of kid prior to 3rd grade. She was only in school for 2 months when I could see the change in her. She didn't want to go to school anymore, didn't want to do her homework, nothing. At her first conference, her teacher was pretty negative and caught me completely off guard, since she had never had problems before. They acted as if she was disruptive and asked too many questions (which I stupidly encourage, I want my kids to be feel comfortable asking for help). I asked her (the teacher) what was going on because she wasn't the same girl I knew since starting the school year and the lady played dumb. The rest of the year was pretty much the same, they even told me they thought she would be held back in the fourth grade, but passed her anyway.
I say they because she had two teachers who shared a contract (so they could spend more time at home with their new babies) and switched their schedule every week to suit their life.

My daughter would also tell me that in square dancing, she would get yelled at for making noise, when it was the boys next to her etc. It was like her little spirit was broken.

My daughter is pretty smart, quite an old soul. Adults love her, which works put great since she prefers them. It just turned out these two didn't like her. When she was in the fourth grade. her teacher loved her and she blossomed again. This teacher knew about her last year (my older daughter had her the year prior and I discussed it with her) and told me she looked at her cumulative file because she was curious and actually told me that you could tell the 3rd grade teachers didn't like her. She said it was sad that some teachers just don't like a kid, and it can follow them.

All I know is, she is now in the 5th grade, and still doing great. I am thankful that her 4th grade teacher was so wonderful. It angers me that some teachers can't set aside their personal feelings and do the job they are paid to do. They have such an impact on a child. and can really do some damage to them.

Let me add I am so thankful to all of the excellent teacher my girls have had. They helped make them who they are today. I am so sorry your son is going through this, especially at this point in grade school. I also apologiing for rambling on. I still haven't gotten over it. It sounds like the ladies here have given you some helpful advice though. I hope it gets better.

This makes me wonder why people decide to work with children when in reality they probably dont even like children. I wonder how many other children this has happened to with those teachers.

karin&ben · May 2009

I had the same thought myself.

AngelaEsq · May 2009

I practice school law, but not in your jurisdiction. You should call a school law attorney.

You should talk to the student advoate for your district, if you have one. In NJ I would advise you to file a complaint with the department of education for violation of the IEP. I don't know the procedure where you live. Obviously the principal is not going to do anything.

jess478 · May 2009

It breaks my heart to hear about what your son's teacher is doing to him. My youngest brother (now 13) was diagnosed with Aspberger's syndrome and had VERY similar experiences to your son. The worst one was when he was in 1st grade and the teacher got frustrated that he was not following directions (he didn't understand them the way she was explaining them) so she grabbed his paper and ripped it up in front of the class.

My brother was at the point where he was having anxiety attacks on Sunday evenings with the thought of going to school the next day. I don't know if this is an option for you financially, but my brother now goes to a very small private school. The classes are much smaller and he actually loves school now. The teachers are willing to learn how to teach him and watch for his cues... for example if the lunchroom is too loud and chaotic he needs to go somewhere quiet.

I'll keep your son in my prayers and hope that this improves for him or an alternate option becomes available.

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VENT (long)-son's teacher is a b*tch!

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