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uh huh....

MightyMouse08MightyMouse08
in Baby Showers

yet another post about the great MIL....

I have been planning a baby shower for next weekend, which is also my anniversary weekend but DH is deployed so it works. Anyway, my MIL decided even though my neighbor and I are planning and paying for everything she would invite all HER friends to the event, don't get me wrong, more gifts the better but at the same time I don't know ANY of them. Is it bad to tell her nevermind and just forget the baby shower all together or just suck it up and feed 20 more people?

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Re: uh huh....

  • MRSBEKMRSBEK
    ask her to make some extra dishes ,and just let them come, more the merrier
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  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member
    I'm confused - whose shower is it?  Obviously it's not yours - why would your MIL be inviting people to someone's shower?
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  • Jennifer2008Jennifer2008 member
    I am also confused - is this a shower you are planning and hosting for yourself? (Warning: you are going to get a big reaction if that is the case, as it is a major etiquette breach, even to nontraditionalists).
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  • MightyMouse08MightyMouse08
    My neighbor is actually hosting and planning it. I was helping a little but now everything is planned and ready to go. and I am to the point that my MIL has crossed the biotch line too many times and I don't even want her around.
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  • At1stsightAt1stsight

    imageMightyMouse08:
    My neighbor is actually hosting and planning it. I was helping a little but now everything is planned and ready to go. and I am to the point that my MIL has crossed the biotch line too many times and I don't even want her around.

    If that's really the case, then she can't invite anyone without talking to your neighbor, the hostess. Inform her that she would need to check with the hostess about bringing additional people because the hostess did not budget and plan for these extra guests. Then have your hostess tell her sorry but they weren't on the guest list and cannot be accommodated due to budget, food preparations, and space at her home.

    By the way, if you ARE cohosting with your friend, you're screwed because she's not going to accept this coming from you without feeling that you're being really rude (even though it is of course rude of her to try and invite people at the last second).

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  • RoxyLynnRoxyLynn member

    You're hosting your own shower, and as a second-time Mom, no less.  No one has any standing here of the most basic rules of etiquette.

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  • mani_and_memani_and_me

    imageMRSBEK:
    ask her to make some extra dishes ,and just let them come, more the merrier

     I agree with this. At this point I think it is too late to un-invite the guests. And to keep the peace with your MIL. I would just suck it up and ask her to add/make a couple extra dishes.

    Whats the difference if she is hosting her own shower or if she is a 2nd time mom. She obviously have 20 extra women who she does not even know that are friends of her MIL possibly attending her shower. I believe that is what her question was in reference to and not etiquette rules. 

    All these rules bugs me!!

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  • DiscusCoachDiscusCoach
    I agree that she needs to either help financially or bring more food.
    Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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  • MightyMouse08MightyMouse08
    Just so we can clear the air and people can say more about me being a 2nd time mom  and having a shower...... This is actually our 4th pregnancy, I have never had a shower, we had twins that passed and lost twins. So having a shower for this baby is actually kind of a special thing for me and my DH... and having someone who is willing to throw one and allow me to at least help so she has everything perfect for a special day for my baby and me is actually a blessing in my opinion. So call me a horrible person and bring on the flame, but my question was is it ok for my MIL to invite that many people I don't know or do we tell her no or if worse comes to worse just cancel....
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  • green beangreen bean
    sorry for your loss., if I was in your shoes , I would politley mention to your MIL that the cohost only planned on a certine number of people coming since your mil already invited the extra people , ask if she can chip in for the extra food, and just try and enjoy your special day,
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • angiec418angiec418
    Ask her to cover the cost for the extra food for the 20 people you weren't expecting to come. I'm sure you have some sort of a budget (or you can magically create one to use the excuse of having one). Maybe feeding 20 more people will take you waaaay over budget so you'll need some help. =]
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  • surprisebaby4us2009surprisebaby4us2009 member
    I would ask her to help with the cost of additional food!  Good luck to you!
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