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when to start sleep training and how?

kwinnieskwinnies
in Multiples

as first time parents, we made the biggest mistake by not putting our girls down when they were "drowsy but awake" from the beginning.

both my husband and my shoulders, necks, and backs are aching like crazy because of all the rocking, rolling, bouncing, swaying and dancing we do to get these girls to sleep for their naps and bedtime.

if you made this mistake like i did, how did you fix it?  i think they're still too young to cry it out. 

thanks so much. 

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Re: when to start sleep training and how?

  • SkatcatSkatcat

    Honestly we were in the same boat the first couple of months. I remember it took FOREVER to get the to go to sleep. What really helped us was starting a bed time routine. Every day at the same time they get up from their naps (or we wake them, we don't let them sleep past 5:30 or so) and we feed them then go for a walk. Then its a warm bath, then they get swaddled and then another feeding and then try to put them down. Over time, they got used to this routine and it got easier and easier to put them down...went from well over an hour of rocking and bouncing etc to about 15-20 minutes. Honestly though we didn't start trying to put them down "drowsy but awake" until the last couple of weeks. I think they are definitely too young to CIO at 3 months. We are only just now starting to let them fuss or chatter to themselves for a bit to see if they will go to sleep on their own, and often they do.

    If I have to do Ferber or other training, I will wait until 6 months or so. It really depends though. Some days I KNOW one of them just needs to soothe themselves. You will get a good sense by about 4 months or so.

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  • marrymemylovemarrymemylove member

    They're only 3 months old! They can't even form habits yet. In other words it wasn't a mistake not to do it from the beginning last time - some kids are just bad sleepers it isn't something you did wrong.

    I would say around 6 months you should try to rock only for a short while, then put them down awake but drowsy IF you can - some kids you just can't, my DS was one. 

    Really I wouldn't do full on sleep training (CIO, Ferber whatever) until 1 year or so. 

     

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  • jd0614jd0614
    The earliest I've heard is 4 months, but my pediatrician said closer to 6 months.  That said, we didn't do it until a few weeks ago - DH was working, and I couldn't "soothe" them both to sleep as I normally do - so I put them in their cribs and they screamed for 35 minutes.  The next night was 10, and every night since its about 5 minutes and they're out for the night.  Heaven!
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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    The earliest a baby can start to form a habit is 4m (and that's when it STARTS, not when the habit is formed).  DS was very easy IMO.  We co-slept for the first 8m, but once he moved to his room (which he did himself), he showed us the way.  At first, I would hold him in the glider until he went to sleep, then seamlessly put him in his crib (did kind of a rolling action so it was smoother).  After a while, he would start to wiggle after BFing, he didn't want to fall asleep in my arms, as soon as I'd put him down, 90% of the time he was content and quite until he fell asleep.  Now he's not BF or anything and DH and I just lay him in the crib wide awake and RARELY hear a peep out of him until it's time to get up.  I will say that he was waking 2-3 times per night when he was still BFing, so at 13.5m, we did a form of CIO.  Within a week or so he was STTN.
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  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    we started doing Baby Wise from day 1 with dS and plan to do the same with the twins.  I'm not sure how ot "fix" it if you didn't start right away- but it's never too late to start good habits that work with your family.

    there are so many methods- you just have to find what fits with your beliefs and your babies.  I loved Baby Wise's sleep/eat/play rotations... it really helkped DS know what to expect, and helped us know why he was fussing at any given time b/c of where we were in the cycle.  It's not CIO (as some people think it is)... but does teach them to soothe on their own and not need to nurse or be rocked to sleep, etc.

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  • lutzcowgirlielutzcowgirlie
    You already got some good advice regarding the fact that your littles are too young for habits yet. Keep in mind that just a few short months ago they were held and rocked to sleep 24 hours a day, so what you are doing now is actually a reduction of what they are used to.
     
    Like others suggested - around 4 months you can start trying to implement a good routine that ends with putting them down drowsy but awake, but I wouldn't start any plan that involves CIO in any form until at the very least 6 months.
     
    Babies are tough bosses!
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