s/o: birth order - middle child syndrome

cranberry27 · May 2009

I'm an only child and have always wanted three. People who are part of three (or maybe just the middle child?) seem to hate it. I have never understood why - anybody want to help me out? Does it matter how far apart you are?

DH and most of my friends only had one sib, and most of them clashed constantly. I have this happy (and probably insane) idea in my head of two going head-to-head, but three being more of a group.

I totally don't get the whole sibling thing, so I'm probably way off. Insight?

MrsErinnElizabeth · May 2009

I'm the oldest of three. We always ran into the problem of two of us ganging up on the 3rd. It was usually me and #2 against #3, but then later it turned to me and #3 against #2. I was always one of the biitchy ganger-uppers. Bruhaha.

singtobehappy · May 2009

I have a sister and a brother, my sister is the middle child but she's never seemed to complain about it. She's actually pregnant with her third child right now because she wants at least one of her kids (boy and girl) to have a sibling of the same gender. I want three, but my husband only wants two, I think it probably depends some on how you feel after the first two are born!

idkmybffk8 · May 2009

i'm 7 of 9... but the oldest and youngest get the most attention, and they can do no wrong. all the rest of us are f ups

rebus82 · May 2009

DH is a middle child, on two fronts. He is his mother's second of three (younger is a half brother), and his father's second of four (younger two are half siblings).

His older sister was (hell, still is) the princess. DH didn't even talk until he was 3 because she spoke for him until then. There are no non-school pics of him alone from his entire childhood, she's in all of them. His maternal younger brother is severely disabled, so he gets (understandably) a lot of attention. It seems like there has just never been anything left for DH after SIL's AW and BIL's issues.?

On his dad's side he's just kinda the back-burner child. SIL demands attention, and HSIL and HBIL are the children of FIL's current wife, so they automatically get more attention. Again, nothing left for DH.?

I don't think this happens in every family, but I know DH isn't a unique case by any means.?

HopingForOne · May 2009

Most families of three I've known have big problems with what MrsEE said - two getting along and ganging up on another. I don't want to have an odd number of children because of it.

That said...from what I've personally witnessed, the "ganging up" seems to be worse when all of the children are the same sex...especially all girls!

Nennifre · May 2009

I'm 4 of 5. My 2 older sisters were a ways above the rest of us, so they were separate. My older brother and younger sister ganged up on my half the time. But my brother was always there for me, and my sister was a good play mate. Also, I was kinda the "odd one out" my brother was an only child so he got spoiled, and my younger sister is the baby so she got spoiled. It wasn't much fun for me at certain times. But I want 3 kids, maybe 4. So I guess I've kind of gotten over it.

peteysweetie · May 2009

DH was #2 of 3 #1 is his brother and #3 is his sister. Sister got more attention because she was the girl and the baby, Brother could do no wrong according to DH since he was the 1st. DH felt that he was blamed for everything and never got a brake. I think now the tables have turned, he is the most successful and self sufficient out of the 3 and I think he is the favorite now and his parents are very proud of him.

I've always wanted 3, ideally #1 & #3 would be the same sex and that way #2 would be different. DH would be fine with having 3 he knows from being a middle child what he won't do as a parent and hopefully if we do have 3 we can prevent any of our children from feeling left out.

On the flip side my Dad is the middle child as well and never had issues but his younger brother is about 10 years younger than him so for a long time it was just him and my uncle

cedge05 · May 2009

I come from a family of 3. I am the oldest, then my sister is 3.5 years younger and the little sis is 14 years younger. Bit of a different story but 3 worked well for our family. My DH comes from a family of 3 where they are all about 3 years apart and he was the middle child. No middle child syndrome there. In fact we both want 3 if we are able to have 3.

crystalmarcellin · May 2009

I am a middle child #2 out of 3 girls. I don't mind it at all. I am super close to both my sisters. I feel like since we are all 5 years apart and can connect with both or them as where the oldest and the youngest are 10 years apart and all though they are super close they are in completly different parts of their lives. I am right in the middle and I can relate to them both.

luckyangel · May 2009

My middle lives up to all that you read-she's something else!!! ?Very strong willed, very attention starved, very manipulative. BUT my kids were neglected and physically abused by thier biological mom, so they arent the norm.

?

GBCK · May 2009

I'm the middle of 3...

I do think that middle kids do get some of the short end of the stick...I mean, you just have to compare the # of things that weren't hand-me-downs or the # of pictures of me vs. either sis to see some of it...

but it's not like it's a huge heartwrending burden I bear.

iteachk · May 2009

MrsErinnElizabeth:
I'm the oldest of three. We always ran into the problem of two of us ganging up on the 3rd. It was usually me and #2 against #3, but then later it turned to me and #3 against #2.

Me too. I think if we were closer in age to the youngest, it would be better. (We're 28, 26, & 20)

But actually, I'd rather there be 3 of us than 2. DH is one of 2 and it's so boring when his family gets together! Waaaaay too quiet.

AFBTB · May 2009

I am the youngest of 3. I have a sister and a brother. My sister is the middle child. Like a pp said, it was always 2 of the kids ganging up on one (usually my two older sibs ganging up on me Tongue Tied

). But my brother wasn't around for very long, he went to live with his dad (he's my half brother), and to this day he has never really been involved with the family. So from 8 yrs old up, it was just my sister and I. And that was better, because we just beat up on each other, we were never outnumbered that way.

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