Eco-Friendly Family

"natural" childbirth-Long

One of my high school friends on FB posted this. She is pg. I'm all for anyone giving birth however they want to but seriously posting that just because you want pain meds during labor/the birth. It makes me mad. I had an epidural and always planned to but I fully support anyone who wants to do it naturally w/no meds.

"I hate it when women, with an air of superiority, proclaim, "I am having a natural childbirth!"

What does that mean, really? Do women who opt for an epidural give birth through the ear canal? Do they fart out the baby? Does the baby claw it's way out of the stomach like from the movie "Alien"? What makes their child's birth unnatural?!!

Since when does opting for pain relief constitute an unnatural condition? I've never heard someone proclaim, "I'm going to have my headache naturally!" Instead, they're reaching for the Excedrin like nobody's business! How many people act like they achieve some special status for suffering through a cold without NyQuil or for suffering a flu without Thera-Flu? If they acted that way, everyone would treat them like the idiots that they are.

Why consciously choose to suffer unbearably? When you think about it, isn't that a form of sadomasochism? If you're going to choose the pain of childbirth, why not stab yourself in the eye while you're at it?

I watched a documentary about childbirth and the woman and her husband wanted to have a "natural" childbirth. When being interviewed, they scoffed at epidurals with disgust - as though they were spawn of the devil! When the woman was dilated to 3 centimeters, she was in so much pain, she could hardly move and was vomitting uncontrollably over the side of the hospital bed. She (finally) gained some sense and started considering an epidural. What did her husband do? He sat by the bed and told her that he didn't want her to get one and told her she was fine! Can you say "crappy husband?" He might as well have tied her to the bed and told her "you suffer and you like it, damn it!" He brow beat her into suffering for hours longer until she coudn't take it anymore and took the epidural.

What's wrong with people? If you're that intent on experiencing excruciating pain needlessly, then fine; to each her own. But I find it laughable that anyone who does so acts as though their labor is somehow superior to anyone who takes an epidural.

So why call it "natural" childbirth? It's clearly a misnomer. Let's call a spade a spade. "Natural" childbirth is really "painful childbirth". Those who use an epidural during labor merely have a "pain managed" childbirth.

Here's to pain management! Bring on the epidural!"

Re: "natural" childbirth-Long

  • I take a huge offense to this post.  I am a mom who went natural because I did the research and made an educated choice about what I wanted for my birth.  I would hope that every mother would do the same...and whatever choice they make I would support. 

    It's all about informed consent and education.

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  • I took offense to this too and I gave birth with an epidural and induction. I was so mad I just had to share with someone. I completely agree with you Hippy.
  • ncbellencbelle member
    I don't get that attitude either.  I choose not to have an epidural (although I'll readily admit having second thoughts when the contractions really got going), but I would never think less of anyone who chose to have one.  One of the great things about modern medicine is that it gives us choices - including choices about what we want our birth experience to be.
  • I think, to each their own. ?If you want the epidural, things will probably be okay and you and your baby will be healthy and everything will be hunky dory and in the end, most people won't care how you had your baby. ?The EXACT same is true for a med-free birth.

    I am one of those people who doesn't take medicine for headaches or colds or something unless I have something I need to do and literally cannot function. ?It is a VERY last resort. ?No one has ever called me an idiot for that, for the record. ?I also had a med-free birth. ?It hurt a LOT, yes. ?I don't think I'm a hero for doing it and I don't think anyone who has an epidural or some other medication is less than me. ?BUT, that said, I DO think that I did what was best for me and for my baby. ?Drugs, no matter how safe, do have an affect on your body (besides pain relief). ?They usually don't cause bad or long-term problems but they are there. ?That was my personal choice not to take any chances and to challenge myself and that's how I see it-- very personal. ?I am very proud that I was able to do it and I have so much more respect for my body. ?I don't put anyone else down for their choice or think any different of them, but for ME... I am proud of me.

    I don't know why people think they're better or worse than someone or that they're smarter than someone based on their birth choice. ?And I REALLY don't know why anyone who hasn't actually experienced childbirth (like your pg friend, unless this is a second+ baby), is touting that they know all. ??

  • I really don't think the issue here is about medication or even child birth.  Rather, respect is what's lacking.  I've seen really rude, self-absorbed, self-righteous rants in the other direction, as well.  I do not, for the life of me, understand why people feel the need to tear down others in order to feel justified in their (already justifiable!) decisions. 

    So, yeah...I'm with you.  I think the tone of her entry just sucks.  

  • imagencbelle:
    PS:  The first time I read this I thought everything from the 3rd paragraph down was you talking again - might want to clarify that!

    Me too!

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  • imageGladToBeMrs.SRS:

    I really don't think the issue here is about medication or even child birth.? Rather, respect is what's lacking.? I've seen really rude, self-absorbed, self-righteous rants in the other direction, as well.? I do not, for the life of me, understand why people feel the need to tear down others in order to feel justified in their (already justifiable!) decisions.?

    So, yeah...I'm with you.? I think the tone of her entry just sucks. ?

    This is what I wanted to say minus all my long-windedness :)

    Seriously, no one has ever had an identical birth to someone else... or even themself!... so you really don't know!

  • I love that she starts off frustrated that people who have natural childbirths believe themselves superior for having done so, and then touts the beauty of the epidural while basically calling all other women sadomasochistic idiots. Wow...that's ridiculously judgemental and offensive.  I personally had a natural childbirth for many reasons, but I agree with PPs, the beauty of modern medical care is that we have choices....wow, just wow...
  • imagencbelle:
    PS:  The first time I read this I thought everything from the 3rd paragraph down was you talking again - might want to clarify that!

    Ditto this.  It is really unclear what she said and what you're saying.  You really might want to change it.  

    And that's sucky of her.  I had a med free birth because I felt like, if it was done for thousands of years, I could do it too.  Why not at least try?  And really, it wasn't bad at all!


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  • I was all kinds of confused at first too. Wasn't sure which part was you and which part was her :)

    I've done it both ways. I had an amazing med-free birth with DD (after LOTS of reading/preparation/talking to other moms who'd done it) and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

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  • I did all that I could to have DD as naturally as possible - without any interventions. I still think I need therapy because I ended up in the hospital on pitocin and with a c/s. :(

    Yes - I still have my wonderfully healthy, happy baby (and heck, nearly a year old!), but I HATE the fact I HAD to have interventions. It sucked.

  • luvlieKluvlieK member
    *sigh*
    47 months &
    11 months
  • TeamK07TeamK07 member
    I find that very offensive too.  Woman now are now fortunate to be able to make their own decisions regarding childbirth as well as to have several choices along the way.  No one should be criticized for going pain-med free or for having an epidural. Luckily we all have options.
    DS 3.7.09
    mm/c 5.3.10 at 10 weeks
    DD 4.1.11
    mm/c 9.25.12 at 11 weeks
    c/p 3.20.13
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  • I've seen self righteous rants in both directions and they always bother me. I had an epidural and fully planned to but amusingly I never take tylenol when I have a headache until it's been pounding in my brain for several hours and I'm miserable! And we don't even keep cold medicine in the house at all. Neither my husband or I take it.
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  • Yeah I read that and all i can think is "wow, this girl is REALLY insecure about her decision."  It feels like she feels guilty about the epi and is trying to make herself feel better. I feel sad for moms who can't be confident in their parenting choices.
  • imageeowynmn:
    Yeah I read that and all i can think is "wow, this girl is REALLY insecure about her decision."? It feels like she feels guilty about the epi and is trying to make herself feel better. I feel sad for moms who can't be confident in their parenting choices.

    This was my thought too. Seriously, either way is "okay" - just choose for yourself and feel good about that! Don't start attacking other mothers just because you are insecure about not having a birth that is labelled "natural."

    DD (8), DS (5), DD (3)
    baby #4 due March '17!
  • I would probably kick someone in the teeth for that.

    I had to have an LP when I was being tested for brain cancer a few years ago. Instead of healing, it leaked.  My brain bobbled around in my skull for two days before my doctor figured out what was going on, stuck a 14 gauge needle in my arm and patched my spinal sac with my blood so that I could start to heal from the original procedure.

    I've never been in labor.  But if I pop out a kid and choose painful/natural childbirth, it's not because I'm a self righteous judgemental beyotch who thinks everyone should do so, it's because of past experiences that say *nobody* touches my spinal fluid unless the need is utterly, absolutely dire, and vomiting is not dire. 

    It makes me so sad that we've come to a point where this sort of choice makes us this angry and this insecure...my wanting to kick someone in the teeth is about the judgement, not the choice...ew.  Just all around ew.

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  • imageGladToBeMrs.SRS:

    I really don't think the issue here is about medication or even child birth.  Rather, respect is what's lacking.  I've seen really rude, self-absorbed, self-righteous rants in the other direction, as well.  I do not, for the life of me, understand why people feel the need to tear down others in order to feel justified in their (already justifiable!) decisions. 

    So, yeah...I'm with you.  I think the tone of her entry just sucks.  

    Agree.

    I actually also have qualms with the term "natural" birth, so I do agree with the first paragraph of her rant. I prefer the term "unmedicated." I tell people that I want a birth with minimal intervention, which is actually more accurate.

    But that's where my agreement stops. She completely changes topic and gets very judgmental. Not an appropriate tone at all. It's a personal choice. My own mother had me by c/s, and I see nothing wrong with it. If I'm fortunate to have my birth go the way that I want, I certainly am not going to wear it like a merit badge. In return, I'd appreciate not being mocked by others who wanted something different.

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  • imageiluvmadbiker:

     

    BTW saw an episode of "a baby story" where the woman hadn't planned on the epidural, but after over 24 hours wanted it, and her husband said he was "disappointed." i wanted to kick him in the teeth. SUPPORT YOUR FREAKING WIFE, loser--you're not pushing a watermelon out.

    I don't know what this is (a baby story) so I don't know the context. But, I think that its really fair for the husband to be disappointed. I know that my husband put every bit as much effort and preparation as I did into our birth, and had it ended up differently than we planned on, I'm sure he would have been disappointed too. Honestly, I think its wonderful that he actually invested enough in the birth to be disappointed in the result. Lots of men just really couldn't care less either way, which is no good, ya know?

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  • Oh, and I have mixed feelings on this. Not on the tone of her post...its clearly rude and judgemental. Not appropriate at all.

    But, when I really am honest with myself, I realize that I am kind of judgemental of epidurals and women that never even attempt an unmediated birth. I mean, I don't write angry posts about it or anything, and in the end, the most important thing is a healthy baby, but I DO think that the modern maternal health system is kind of f'd in the way it treats birth. So, I guess that is actually what pisses me off. Its not the women that choose epidural or anything, its just the medical model that presents an epi as "no big deal." I just do not agree that its no big deal.

    Anyway, I realize that isn't the point of this thread. I'm just trying to be honest with myself and figure out how I REALLY feel about this issue. Yes, the post is just ignorant and rude. That's true.

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  • imagenkintzel:

    Oh, and I have mixed feelings on this. Not on the tone of her post...its clearly rude and judgemental. Not appropriate at all.

    But, when I really am honest with myself, I realize that I am kind of judgemental of epidurals and women that never even attempt an unmediated birth. I mean, I don't write angry posts about it or anything, and in the end, the most important thing is a healthy baby, but I DO think that the modern maternal health system is kind of f'd in the way it treats birth. So, I guess that is actually what pisses me off. Its not the women that choose epidural or anything, its just the medical model that presents an epi as "no big deal." I just do not agree that its no big deal.

    Anyway, I realize that isn't the point of this thread. I'm just trying to be honest with myself and figure out how I REALLY feel about this issue. Yes, the post is just ignorant and rude. That's true.

    Ditto this. Sometimes I feel like I'm pretty judgemental about it. I think it's hard not to be when you do a bunch of research and come to a decision for yourself. I don't go around openly criticizing people for their decisions though.

    A friend of mine had an ...interesting perspective. She likes to have an occasional drink & smoke (not of the tobacco variety) but is obviously abstaining during pregnancy. She said by the time she delivers, she will have been sober for over 9 whole months so she thinks she deserves to be drugged for labor. Something like "if they're gonna offer me drugs that are safe for the baby...bring 'em on!"  I personally don't totally believe the drugs are entirely safe for the baby, but I'm not going to criticize her for that decision.  

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