I need some opinions. Would you tell your boss?

planeNsimple · May 2009

If I could get some opinions on this I would really appreciate it. Sorry this is long but I think you will need some background first. I am the only "employee" to my boss (though I work in a company with 35 people in the office). The person who had my job before me, got pg and then "worked from home". He hated it, but put up with it for years until I was hired on. He always jokingly said that I better not get KU and if I did I need to tell him right away (He is so rediculous, I could totally report him. But this isn't really about that). I of course said I would tell him when i'm ready, but that my DH and I weren't even thinking about having kids any time soon so he didn't have to worry about it. That was 2 years ago. Well I was planning on telling him tomorrow if we hear the HB so that he would understand about all of my doctors apt (i have to see my Endo as well monthly due to thyroid problems) and my constantly being sick at work. Well then today he secretively tells me that they are talking about laying people off in the office. He then follows it by saying "don't worry, they would have to go through me to get you and I wouldn't let that happen." But I know he will not be happy with this news and he will think I won't be coming back...not matter how much I tell him I will. And if he goes, who is to "protect" me.

Side Note: I would not tell anyone else at work until I was out of first tri. (I am pretty sure he would keep the secret)

So knowing all of this, would you still tell your boss or would you wait? And if you would wait, how long would you wait for? Thanks for your opinions ladies. It helps to get other's perspectives!

miss_beckman · May 2009

I would still tell him. Just-

we found out we are pregnant. This is the due date. This is how much time I am thinking about taking off- It might be less because I can't be away from work that long! (Just say that you love your job or that you can't wait to get back afterwords or something and hey- he can't really complalin)

It worked for me!

KellyOct15 · May 2009

I would wait, but that's me. I was going to tell my boss earlier than I did because she knew that I'd recently had a m/c, but then the Sh!t hit the fan at work and things were really unstable. We weren't sure if we were going under or not. So I waited until things straghtened themselves out and then I told her. I didn't want to stress her out any more than I had to. We only have 4 employees and I'm the only one that can do my job. They went through 3 employees filling my spot while I was away on mat leave last time.

Anyhow, they can't fire or lay you off because you're pregnant. But it would be a hard case to prove if they were laying everyone else off too. If it were me I'd keep it to myself until you knew where the chips were going to land.

Natalie Rose Brown · May 2009

I agree! I would tell him and have a plan when you go in to tell him. I was worried at first too because we have recently had layoffs. But just tell him and if he lays you off because you're PG then that's a different story.

deanbean · May 2009

I don't think you need to take all the layoffs, previous employee's behavior, etc. etc. into consideration. I would just tell when you are ready to tell.

For me, I have told immediate family and close friends already. I am not telling work until next week. But that's just me. I've never been pregnant before and so I didn't know what to expect or anything and I just don't think anyone will hold it against you for not telling during the first tri.

nicolebuchalla · May 2009

I would! I was stressing telling my boss, but it turned out to be a good decision. He appreciates knowing.

aimeelynae · May 2009

I would wait a few more weeks and then tell him-but that's me.

Maybe the layoffs will have passed by that point and it won't be an "excuse" to lay you off. Obviously that's totally illegal but some employers are crazy like that. However, if they do know your pregnant it might save you from being laid off...they wouldn't want to take that risk with discrimination.

GL

planeNsimple · May 2009

aimeelynae:

I would wait a few more weeks and then tell him-but that's me.

Maybe the layoffs will have passed by that point and it won't be an "excuse" to lay you off. Obviously that's totally illegal but some employers are crazy like that. However, if they do know your pregnant it might save you from being laid off...they wouldn't want to take that risk with discrimination.

GL

That is what i'm thinking too. It could hurt or help me or do nothing. I just don't want it to hurt!

Kendall13 · May 2009

Is there an HR rep at your office?

I would recommend telling an HR rep first and noting what was said to you by your boss. That way it is all on record.

Then I would tell your boss. If I was someone's manager, I would want to know sooner rather than later. It also looks bad if they "figure it out" before you fess up. Obviously you have the right to say what you want, but employers are people, too... they will usually handle it better if they feel like you weren't trying to hide it.

planeNsimple · May 2009

Kendall13:

Is there an HR rep at your office?

I would recommend telling an HR rep first and noting what was said to you by your boss. That way it is all on record.

Then I would tell your boss. If I was someone's manager, I would want to know sooner rather than later. It also looks bad if they "figure it out" before you fess up. Obviously you have the right to say what you want, but employers are people, too... they will usually handle it better if they feel like you weren't trying to hide it.

I was thinking about brining my HR friend in there as well when I tell him. That might be a good idea!

barefootbride2008 · May 2009

It sounds like you are protected through this round of layoffs, based upon what your boss said. As such, I would probably lay low until they pass, assuming they are coming soon. That is what I did at my firm's last round (though that wasn't the reason for my decision - I wanted to wait until my NT scan) and I think it was the best decision. It's just too easy to pick you when they are letting go a lot of people and, frankly, you are less bang for the buck when you are pregnant. But if you think the layoffs might not be for a while or aren't sure how safe you are, I would strongly consider Kendall's suggestion about talking to someone in HR.

Olive21 · May 2009

I would probably wait a bit longer. He sounds somewhat wacky and who knows if he'd really try to protect you from the layoffs if he knows.

Bcbscorp · May 2009

You can think of this one of two way, protection from the layoff by telling them. Or you can wait a week or two and see if it blows over and then tell your boss.

Personally if it were me, I would wait!

planeNsimple · May 2009

Thanks girls. the only problem is that he has no idea when they will be coming...and I'm thinking it won't be for a bit. But I have no way of knowing for sure.

messie · May 2009

I would wait. It is completely acceptable to wait to tell work until you are out of your 1st tri, no matter what deal you made with him. I think it would be best to protect yourself and see how things pan out. It is sad, but if it came down to it, he may be looking out for himself and encourage a layoff for you to get someone else in. It's illegal but it happens. When you do tell him, express how much your value your job and want to continue etc. you also may fudge a little saying "we found out late, so I haven't known for very long" or "we were worried through the begining becuase of m/c etc, but are through the hard part now" to soften the blow of not telling him as soon as you knew. Good luck!

MannaKay · May 2009

I am wondering the same thing. I am only 5-7 weeks (idk) but don't have my first appointment until the beginning of June. I think I am going to try to wait until after the dr so I have a better grasp on where things are. I want to go in with amunition and not come out with questions unanswered. Hopefully I can keep the symptoms at bay long enough.

GL

scaneiki · May 2009

I would definitely NOT tell your boss unless you absolutely have to! I had to tell my boss because I work in a lab and had to have my job duties restricted and I still regret having to tell my boss.

In my opinion, unless your job duties can effect the baby (like mine), don't tell the boss until you can't hide it!

Want a personalized experience?

I need some opinions. Would you tell your boss?

Re: I need some opinions. Would you tell your boss?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards