mothers day protocol first time mommy tobe

Rinlove · May 2009

so at church this weekend our priest said to dh and I, I hope your looking forward to your first mothers day next week. I smiled and said of course..

mil was over that night and full on argued with dh about how I dont count yet!

just curious what all you first time moms are having done for you if anything??? dh said he already has a surprise for me but I was just wondering is there an actual protocol for it??? mil drives me batty on a daily basis anyways, but i was surprised she had such an issue with me being celebrated this year too..

sgrl · May 2009

I don't think there's any actual protocol, but your MIL is being horribly petty IMO.

ArmyBride0604 · May 2009

I have a sneaking suspicion I'm getting the Kate Spade purse I want from DH (but that's more because I taunted him about his tri wetsuit and less about being a mother). We're hosting brunch after church for both of our families. It's my mom's birthday so the biggest fuss (from me at least) will be over her. MIL already gave me a Mother's Day card that was made for a mommy-to-be and present. But I'm perfectly comfortable being either mommy or non-mommy depending on the mood. I feel slightly silly expecting anything so I'm not. I don't know that there's an actual protocol - Hallmark does make a ton of mommy-to-be cards. I think it depends on what your preference is.

jk09uhed89 · May 2009

shes probably just being a biitch for no reason. just cause you dont have an outside baby yet doesnt mean you dont have one at all.

i think you are a mommy the second you find out you are pregnant

FrickandFrack · May 2009

I think it's whatever you want to do. If you both want to celebrate being new parents to be, then go for it. Eff what your MIL says.

alexisz523 · May 2009

Oh tell her toeat sh** Smile

Eventhough baby is not here yet you are still a mommy! DH is taking me out for dinner. He is the one who suggested it!

LillyBug923 · May 2009

I am not celebrating. I can see why/how others would want to, though. I just feel sort of like it might be jinxing things. I know that even now my baby isn't a "guarantee" and I don't want to celebrate if in 2 months I am not going to come home with a baby. Does that make sense? This is just my opinion.

FLVintageBride · May 2009

Sounds like your MIL is just a little jealous that she might not be the only center of attention this year. The protocol is that it is sweet and perfectly acceptable for your husband to acknowledge you on Sunday.

nicolesspirit · May 2009

Personally I think when a women gets married to a man they qualify for mothers day.

Rinlove · May 2009

yeah thats who she is..

i was more shocked that she said it all in front of me,,, i am blessed that dh stood up for me. I was just hoping the baby would make her behave a bit nicer..

we'll see

ArmyBride0604 · May 2009

sgrl:
I don't think there's any actual protocol, but your MIL is being horribly petty IMO.

Also this - I think if your DH wants to celebrate your mommyness (which he apparently agrees with since he was arguing with his mom), then he should be able to!

OSUtiff · May 2009

sgrl:
I don't think there's any actual protocol, but your MIL is being horribly petty IMO.

I agree. There really isn't a protocol that I know of. I jokingly asked my FI if he was going to get me anything this year for mother's day and w/o hesitation he asked if I would be interested in a prenatal massage (hells yeah!) and this is totally unlik, but him. I would expect HIM to have the smart-ass comment about me not counting yet but looks like he is game. Maybe he just wants something for Father's Day?! Stick out tongue

PS I said smart-ass...is that allowed?! I am not sure of anything anymore...

sweetyface77 · May 2009

When I was pregnant with DD, my DH surprised me with flowers and a card for Mother's Day. It was so sweet and I was shocked that he had planned anything. My father was in agreement that I should celebrated, but my mother was adament that I was not yet a mother and blah, blah, blah. She was very angry at DH for making mother's day about me. Oh well. Tell your MIL to deal with it and that it doesn't matter how she feels about it. Last I checked, there were no guidelines as to who can and can't be celebrated on Mother's Day. Have fun!

4realyo · May 2009

your mil is being a tad biotchy imo. to each their own really. im not really expecting anything, but i did email my dh's some hints that i could use a facial or a pedicure (but my bday & anniversary are next month too). my sisters & i have plans to have a picnic for our mom & thats about it.

Breezer80 · May 2009

FLVintageBride:
The protocol is that it is sweet and perfectly acceptable for your husband to acknowledge you on Sunday.

If there were an actual "protocol", it would be this, I think

BlairWaldorf · May 2009

I don't count this as my first mother's day.

I plan on celebrating MY mother, & do not expect anything for myself.

doris03 · May 2009

Wow she sux! I don't know that there's any protocol, but DH is getting me a little something and I'm planning on getting him something for Father's Day even though our baby isn't due till September. Enjoy your first Mother's Day, no matter what anyone says about it :-)

Samantha82 · May 2009

I agree with PP. I think it's whatever you want to do. I'm not insisting on doing anything (we'll be traveling anyway) but if DH wants to do something to celebrate it's fine with me. But if he wants to wait until next year that's fine too.

I think your MIL is being petty. Why does she care so much? This is between you and your DH.

murdermuffin · May 2009

I don't know. I def HOPE I get something. I know my mom and MIL will atleast wish me a Happy Mothers Day which will be cool. I am excited about being a mommy and I feel like one already because I feel my LO dancing around and I love him very much.

DH doesn't always pick up on things like that and I have a feeling he won't do anything at all which might make me cry. I have tons of surprises planned for him for Fathers Day.

I am not expecting him to celebrate it now but I hope he does.

Miriamgavalas · May 2009

nicolesspirit:
Personally I think when a women gets married to a man they qualify for mothers day.

Hahahahaa. I love it! So so true.

blushingbrideoct07 · May 2009

I asked DH NOT to get my anything. ?I feel that although I am doing a really good job taking care my little bean I am not a mother yet. ?Plus I have a feeling he is getting me a gift after the baby is born.?

browneyes_24b · May 2009

BlairWaldorf:
I don't count this as my first mother's day.
I plan on celebrating MY mother, & do not expect anything for myself.

This.

k_leigh_d · May 2009

WOW - your MIL sounds like a real peach. I don't think there is a protocol for this, but it's nice your DH is already planning a nice surprise for you.

Pennylane824 · May 2009

DH asked me how I want to spend my first mother's day.... I told him we're haivng my mom and family over for a late afternoon meal. If he chooses to get me something, that would be awesome but I am certainly making the focus of that day on our moms. Next year will be the really special mother's day- and he better be on his "A" game for that one. lol Wink

thatgirlang · May 2009

I don't care if people celebrate it or not- but you're still a mommy-to-be, not a mom. Your MIL didn't have to be mean about it but I can understand where she is coming from. I said this in Lily's post the other day but I guarantee all the first time moms will feel a lot different about this next year on Mother's Day. You'll really be a mom and you'll feel like one! (moreso than now)

MadameFancyPants · May 2009

I don't think there is any protocol. I've caught DH hinting about a 3d ultrasound to find out the sex early as a "mother-to-be day" gift. We will see if he actually goes through with it!

afg · May 2009

Protocol? I highly doubt it, other than what you are comfortable with. Some people don't want anything baby related in their house before their LO arrives.

I'm not expecting anything because I'm not a Mommy yet..I'm just a mommy in training Wink

TiffanyHenning · May 2009

Of course my Mom is still going to be the main focus this year, but she wants to share her holiday with me. Besides, any reason to receive gifts from Husbie is golden.

RD'sgirl · May 2009

I don't expect anything for mothers day BUUUUUT it is also my b-day on sunday so I know we are going out saturday for dinner. I actually hate mothers day since my mom isn't here and I resent that I have to celebrate it with dh's mom, I go with a smile but i'm not gonna lie, I'm bitter about it.

Evelynsmom · May 2009

Your MIL is being an ass. There are even Mother-to-Be cards in the stores. Screw her.

dimake · May 2009

My DH was away at basic training for the mother's day that I was pregnant with our first - but I bought myself something (I think it was a cute Nick & Nora robe from Target. I wanted it. There were sock monkeys.)

A couple of my friends sent me a card, too, which was nice.

Other than that, nobody did anything for me...

TarheelsInNJ · May 2009

BlairWaldorf:

I don't count this as my first mother's day.

I plan on celebrating MY mother, & do not expect anything for myself.

Ditto this. I just don't feel ready to celebrate yet - I want to hold the baby in my arms first.

snsgurl728 · May 2009

It's up to the individual, but I think MIL was just trying to rain on your parade. Mine would do the exact same thing! My DH says that I'm already a mom because of how much concern I have for our LO and how well I take care of myself because taking care of myself=taking care of baby.

You celebrate to your heart's content!

goldie86 · May 2009

i have to agree with most of the posters on here. i am celebrating mothers day this year, not because i want a present or the attention but because i feel that all of us pregnant women deserve to think of ourselves as "mom". we may not have baby to hold yet, but it is certainly alive and well while we are taking care of it inside ourselves. and that in itself is no easy feat!

yale · May 2009

I'm not a mom yet. I hope DH doesn't make a deal out of it.

DanielsWife · May 2009

My long 2 cents as to why I'm sorta indifferent, yet not:?

DH and I personally wouldn't care at all about this, but when DH's cousin's girlfriend got pregnant - and that's a story in and of itself - his whole family fell over themselves sending her stuff, doing things for her, etc. - and they lived a few counties over. For Mother's Day that year, they sent her a HUGE box full of gifts, etc. - and this was before her elaborate baby shower - and then proceeded to gloat about it at the annual Mother's Day brunch for the family.

So, Mother's Day is fast approaching, and I'm almost into my 6th month of pregnancy. Anything for me? NOPE. Nothing. Nada. And I know there won't be anything going on for me at Mother's Day - they don't even have the annual brunch planned yet (and no, there is no surprise going on or anything - DH has bluntly asked his mom, and she's like, "well, they don't care, so what is supposed to happen?"). This is the same family that couldn't be bothered to come to our convalidation ceremony earlier this year.

So, I don't know what the protocol is. My own family lives states away - other than my mom and dad - so I'm not expecting much, other than from my parents and DH.?

mcjb09 · May 2009

kfrix13:
I think it's whatever you want to do. If you both want to celebrate being new parents to be, then go for it. Eff what your MIL says.

This. If you're already taking steps to care for this child, why shouldn't you be considered a mom?!

JWJW2 · May 2009

Oh my gosh! Your MIL is horrible! I can't believe she said that. I'm so sorry. I hope that people think I'm a Mom this Mother's Day. It took me 8 years to get pregnant, I deserve some sort of Mom medal, don't I?

Besides, when any of my friends were pregnant over Mother's Day, I always gave them a Mom-to-be card for Mother's Day. Hallmark recognizes it, so why doesn't the world?

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2009

FLVintageBride:
Sounds like your MIL is just a little jealous that she might not be the only center of attention this year.

That's the vibe I'm getting, too.

Mindyland · May 2009

I agree with most all the posts here. You definitely count! My husband and I are going to have some special time for each other on Mother's Day and Father's Day!! It's so neat to be able to celebrate the anticipation of motherhood/ fatherhood. We will enjoy this special time, no matter what.

It's hard not to have hurt feelings when someone in your family says something hurtful, but your husband did the right thing, and you should feel free to celebrate your growing baby.

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