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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Letting baby spend the night @ MIL's
Here's a little background...
My son will be 7mos old on Thursday. My MIL (who lives an hour away in the neighboring state) has only been to our house ONE time to see him and that was the day we came home from the hospital. She's NEVER once called me and asked how I'm doing nor how the baby is doing nor has she offered to come up and help (or just visit for that matter). Lastly, she has only seen him ONCE this entire year and that was for a few hours on Valentine's day so we could go out to dinner.
Last night my husband mentions that he wants to take our son down to stay overnight with his mother on Friday. I politely told him that I didn't feel comfortable with that (of course he got upset). I have no problems with her seeing him and/or spending time with him but I'm not ready to 1. be apart from him overnight yet. In my mind, he's just too young. 2. I don't feel comfortable with him being down there bc essentially, he doesn't know her and she doesn't know him. I guess I'm asking for opinions of what I should do and if I'm over-reacting. Of course my friends/family tell me I'm not but, that could be bc they don't want to hurt my feelings. LoL
Oh, I forgot to add, I'm not necessarily showing favoritism and letting the baby stay with my mom and not his. My mom lives over 7hrs away so he has yet to stay with her either but even still, I'd feel more comfortable with her bc she's more involved with him even with the distance than MIL.
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Re: Letting baby spend the night @ MIL's
Absolutely not! I would never let DS stay over night without me at 7 months. Now for us, DS is a terrible sleeper and it would have just been a clusterfuuck. Also, it would be my stepmother and she is a little nutty. When we went to visit 2 months after DS's birth she wanted him to sleep in their room
WTF??
I would stick with your guns on this one.
She has only seen him twice? ?I would never leave my child overnight with someone who has only met them twice- even it it was my MIL or even my own Mom.
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No matter what the reasons are, I wouldn't leave my LO somewhere I wasn't comfortable with.
I'm with you all the way. Not ready to leave DS overnight, especially with an essential STRANGER. Bleh. She might be familiar to your DH, of course (duh), but to a little person who thrives on routine and familiarity? No way.
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I won't even let MIL watch DS, like your MIL she has show very little interest in DS. The only time she has every seen him is when I make the effort. I have something coming up in month in my home town, where MIL lives and she isn't watching him. Instead my Dad is watching him. MIL became very upset when she found out about this. It isn't my fault that she doesn't make time for DS and that I didn't feel comfortable leaving him with her.
My DS has spent the night at my mom's, but this was due to a daycare issue. Plus I trust my mom to do thing like I would. She sees DS on a regular bases. She only live 5 minutes away from IL's, I never told them that my mom had him. Not like they would care anyways.
Stand your ground, if you don't feel comfortable with it do let it happen.
She's seen him more than twice...maybe 6 times tops. Definitely less than 10! I know DH is going to make a big deal out of it bc I take DC down with me to visit my parents for days at a time yet, I'm not willing to let his mother take him overnight. I would feel a bit better if she was more active in his life but she's never around and is always too busy with church stuff or whatever else she wants to do. It's like her grandson is an afterthought.
I can't tell from your OP but would your husband be taking him and dropping him off or taking him and staying the night also? If my husband wanted to take DS to his moms and both of them spend the night, I would absolutely let him. I would be totally uncomfortable with DH taking DS, dropping him off and leaving him overnight with MIL alone.
No, DH would be taking him and dropping him off and then heading to work (he works nights close to his mother's house). While my husband would be close by, the baby would be at MIL's alone.
Ditto this. I was fine with leaving DS overnight when he was about 5 months old, but it was with my inlaws who see him multiple times/week. I would compromise and tell your DH that you're fine with him taking your DC down to see your MIL, but it should be a day trip.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
Having read this, can your DH pick his mom up when he's coming BACK from working, bring her to your house, she can "help" you with your DC for the day so you get a feel for her parenting skills, and then he would take her back when he heads to work?
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
this. until your DC gets to know who she is, and until you're comfortable with leaving him overnight, there would be no way in hell there'd be any sleepovers.
Not a chance. The baby doesn't know her and she doesn't know his routine .
I don't think the baby is too young to be away from you overnight, though. I think the longer you wait the worse it gets for both you and them. I left Lila at home with my husband this weekend from Friday to Sunday and they both did great AND he has a new appreciation for what i do all day.