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Struggling BAD with whether to quit breastfeeding

ashleynb7ashleynb7
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

My DS is currently a little over 4 months old and I don't know if I should continue breastfeeding or switch to formula.  I have worked my butt off to breastfeed this time around.  With DD I was uneducated about it and gave up after 6 weeks and this time I've seen the LC, gone through bleeding nipples, and had many crying breakdowns but I finally have it down pat now!!.  The problem is that I think I may have done too good of a job at it!  My DS is wanting to stay on my breast all off the time...every hour or so....2 hours max, even at night.  He hates my husband.  He won't take a bottle of BM from him and he screams pretty much with anyone but me....the lady with the food supply!  My poor husband is really struggling wiith this and he feels that he's missing out because he can't soothe DS, get DS to sleep (he'll only go to sleep on my breast), take him out and about by himself, etc.  He had such a great bond with our daughter from the very beginning and he hates not having the same with our son. 

As for me, I love that DS loves me so much.  I love that I have shown all the negative people that kept saying "Why breast feed?, Give formula!", that I did it and I have been more than successfull at it.  I love the special bond that DS and I have.  However, my daughter misses her Mommy.  I feel like I am constantly having to tell her that I have to feed DS, again, and she gets so sad and I hate to see her go play by herself and look so lonely all the time.  I am so scared though that I am going to hate myself if I quit.  I know that I could pump and give him bottles of breastmilk but he only wants boob or only wants bottles.  He won't ake both and I know from trying to only pump for a couple of weeks that I can't keep up with it...not with a 2 year old and a very demanding infant.  I just don't know what to do. 

I'm sorry this is so long but I'm really looking for any advice you guys can give me.  Thanks so much.

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Re: Struggling BAD with whether to quit breastfeeding

  • JLS0320JLS0320 member
    I think you have to do what's best for you and your family. 
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  • meganet22meganet22

    Are you sure he needs to eat this much?  I have similar issues with dd and find that I let her stay on my breast forever b/c in the beginning she wasn't getting enough and like you I had to really work hard at bfing so I think I was trying to overcompensate.

    However, it got to the point where I just couldn't keep it up anymore so I started putting her down when I knew she had gotten enough to eat.  She doesn't always like it but I figure if she really gets hungry again I can always pick her up again. 

    Also, let your dh take him and spend time with him.  He might scream at first but he needs to spend time with other people.  If you can, take your dd out of the house when husband is home and spend some time with her and let dh have some one on one time with ds. He'll find ways of soothing him.

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  • adamwifeadamwife

    No one can make the decision for you - you just need to weigh the pros and cons for your family.

    I get the whole taking time away from the older child thing.  It is really hard on them when they want attention.

    I'm sorry you're having a hard time!

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  • bridal_honeybridal_honey
    I was thinking since you can start introducing cereal now--maybe your DH can do that--plus, like others said-maybe you need to unlatch him yourself after it become way too long--I mean, you've done such a great job getting this far--I have been there--I BF through bleeding nipples and crying- and all that--and DS will not take a bottle either and I feel like I am chained to this baby sometimes.  But, for me the light at the end of the tunnel is I've introduced cereal and also first foods will come into play next month, so thats more time your dh can bond and less time on the boob.
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  • jen_and_scottjen_and_scott member
    what kind of bottle are you using? Have you tried nipples that are shaped more like the breast? We use Nuk brand and have had no problem going bottle to breast. Maybe that would help and you can monitor how much he is getting. Maybe something is wrong with his pulling, and he's not getting much when he feeds on you? Also DH would be able to do that and could bond with him.
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  • ashleynb7ashleynb7

    When he nurses, I know he is getting plenty.  I've gone to the LC and had her weigh him several times before he eats and after and he eats 4-5 ounces minumum.  He really seems hungry when he nurses.  If he stops swallowing while nursing I immediately take him off of my breast so he won't just use me as a pacifier.  Speaking of pacifiers, he acts as if I'm sticking a bullet in his mouth when I try to get him to take one! 

    As for the bottles, when went through SEVERAL different kinds and he likes the breastflow the best, Nuk he likes alright.  However, he hates going back and forth between bottle and breast.  The times we've gone out of town and my Mom has watched him, it's taken her a whole day to get him to halfway take it but he will usually like it fine by the end of the weekend.  However, just one time on my breast and it's shot.  He becomes SO panicked with anything in his mouth other than my breast that he won't even chew on a teething ring or anything like that...

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