want to stop pumping but feeling guilty

Eclypze · May 2009

how did you do it?

I keep thinking back to right when DD was born and i screwed up from the get-go. She wouldn't latch, and i didn't pump at first. My milk came in bigtime, i leaked overnight in the bed and left a nice wetmark on the sheets, and pumped by hand 1 or 2 times that day.

about a week later FIL got me the Medela PIS and started using that. DD still didn't latch, she'd scream at the breast. So i never pushed the issue, and decided whatever i pump i'll give in a bottle, it was better then nothing.

Well, about 10w PP saw a LC, i have a hospital grade pump i'[m using. I could never get the 8-10 pumpings per day. DD would latch now, but used more as suckling rather then food.

DD is now 3 1/2 months. I've been back to work for about a month. I pump 5-6 x per day. THe supply is less then before, as first pump of the day used to be 2oz, but now is maybe 1. Rest of the day pretty much sucks with the PIS.

I'm thinking about stopping, but then i feel so freakin' guilty about everything i DID NOT do in the beginning not really knowing any better. I feel likei jipped my daughter out on full breastmilk because of me not trying harder.

Obviously shes happy, healthy and does some things a 3 1/2 month old shouldn't do yet. I just feel so guilty.

How did you get over this feeling?

Mandy Ellsworth · May 2009

I stopped pumping 3 weeks ago because even though I was making a good amount of milk, I just couldn't make enough for it to be beneficial to both boys. I still feel guilty every now and then, but the time I get to spend with my boys instead of pumping is so worth it in my opinion. You will still feel bad when your baby starts feeling around your boob and you realize you can't do anything about it.

mrs. hoelle · May 2009

I tried breastfeeding for a month and it just wasn't happening because I wasn't making enough. I would breast feed, top DS of with formula, and then pump. By the time I was done doing all of this it was time to start all over again. I tried everything to up my supply, but nothing helped. I finally just switched to all pumping, but I still felt guilty for not breastfeeding, even though DS was still getting expressed breastmilk. I would get about 2 oz from each side, but then I went back to work and it dropped to 1 - 1/2 oz. I said I would do it for 3 months, but when the time came it was so hard. And since what I was pumping was so little compared to what DS was eating, I decided to quit. I felt guilty for a while, but I got over it. The time I don't spend pumping now, I can now spend with DS. It is such a relif to not be watching the clock to see when the next pumping will be. I gave it my all and that is all I could do.

ms.cbs · May 2009

I'm starting to pump less and less these days and have had to supplement a couple of times so I'm in the same boat. I keep feeling guilty about it, but if you're not pumping enough, what can you do? I wouldn't feel guilty about not having done it in the beginning enough. I have gone from pumping 6xd to 5xd in the past 2 days. I will just gradually decrease the number of times I pump unless my milk supply comes back up. Good luck and don't feel bad!

beckyj763 · May 2009

Chalk it up as a learning experience...you can't change it now. Next time you will know. My dd had jaundice, a horrible case. Once she got it I learned so much about why and how and how to prevent it. I felt horrible but she is okay so I can't. Feel guilty. Next time I will know. I am just thankful she is okay and healthy. I hope this helps.

nova@spamcop.net · May 2009

I was like you. Wanted to bf, but DS was in the NICU in the beginning, and he got a feeding tube, then bottles. I had a lactation consultant help me try to bf, but DS hated that my flow was so slow compared to bottles, so he would either scream or fall asleep at the breast. I switched to pumping, got a hospital grade pump and made enough for a while. But I was the only one taking care of him for about 8-10 hours each day, and it seemed he always needed something right when I was in the middle of pumping. I'd feed, change him, pump, stop pumping, take care of him, go back to pumping, clean the stuff, have 30 minutes to eat, then start all over again. My entire day was determined by my pumping schedule, and between that and the stress and the lack of support, I couldn't handle it. I ended up seeing a therapist, and she had me write the pros and cons of breastfeeding/pumping. Honestly, I think I only had 2 pros, and about 15 cons. I finally decided to FF exclusively, and it's honestly so much better now. DS isn't screaming, I'm not crying, and everyone is happier. It took me about 2 weeks to get over feeling guilty, but now I enjoy the time we cuddle together during feedings so much more.

Unknown · May 2009

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nova@spamcop.net · May 2009

auchick0821:

This is my life right now. Jax was in the NICU for 2 wks and started on bottles. I am trying so hard to quit without feeling guilty but man it's tough! Almost to 3 months so I guess at least I tried.

Yes, you tried your best, and your baby got 3 months of breast milk. Even if he only got a few weeks, it's better than nothing, so don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't work for everyone.

chloeelyn · May 2009

Im inthe process of quitting now. I have been taking reglan for 6 weeks because I haven tbeen able to make enough milk. He has beeen on half formula since he was 3 weeks old. He just eats more than I can make. The meds are making me feel sick, I forget to take them, im back at work and pumping is becoming harder to do. Im also not making enough now even though Im on the meds. So I have decided as of yesterday to quit. I feel guilty about it but I also felt that way when I stopped Bf at 3 weeks. I eventually got over it. I already have enough stress that pumping and not making enough is adding to my stress level. Its overall better if I stop bow. If I was able to make milk without meds I would be fine. But I cant and I have tried for 5 months now. I hope this helps you. good luck.

gossler54 · May 2009

I was in the same boat. I quit two weeks ago when I went back to work. I was only getting about an ounce total each time I pumped (30 min total). What little I was producing just seemed to get lost in all the formula she was consuming. Now she is only FF fed and she has adjusted well. She has met all of her milestones and is beyond some of them, so don't worry everything works out in the end.

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