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2nd Trimester
cedens
member
Whoa there!!!!! (LONG VENT)~sorry!
cedens
member
Well hope you can stay w/ me this long to actually read this! cause i need some advice on how to appraoch this!
So i am beyond pissed off right now...
I just got back from my OB appt and i was given permission to stop work early by my OB. A lil background: I have been having high bp issues since January (150-140 range over 85ish)~ so they have me going every 6 weeks to see a perinatologist (sp?) to make sure the baby is growing appropriately and such, not to mention a crap load of blood/urine tests being done in addition to monitoring my organ functions (eye sight especially)....
SO... i started my job back in August and was told that i would be on benefits by October since it took about 3 months to get them w/ the gov't... my best friend got me the job there because she was leaving to go away to grad school... well this place has royaly screwed me over- it is MAY and i still DO NOT have any benefits (no health/dental/eye insurance, no paid leave, no disability, no sick days, no personal time off, no vacation, NOTHING!) i found out end of November that i was pregnant! we planned this child and was under the impression that i would have benefits starting Nov. 23rd with benefits (when the open season started).. and just found out that they did my application wrong and they cant let me on w/ benefits until 90 more days which means it will be over a year of me working there before getting any kind of benefits! i have had a lot of issues w/ this pregnancy and have been out of work basically the entire month of April and NOT getting paid for it! no work , no pay!
also i have posted on here frequently about how unprofessional my boss was being after he found out i was pregnant (confronting me about my pregnancy in front of a coworker, asking why i couldnt wait to have kids, what i was planning on doing w/ childcare while working, if my parents lived close to help, what my EXACT BP #s were, and not to mention that he has called me into his office at least once a month to let me know that i am a slacker (which i totally disagree with!)...
i kept my friend updated frequently on this and she was right on board thinking that they were treating me differently and such and that she was really sorry for getting me the job there because it seems like they have it out of me! i mistakenly (looking back now) told her that i was not sure if i wanted to come back in the fall because of all the issues...
so now i get this email~
_________________
I see you got your dr's note. I know you think that whatever you do will not affect me, but I disagree. I just want to ask you again to let them know you will not be returning in the fall. It is not right to make XXX (boss) pursue making you full time. That requires a lot of work from a lot of people. I know you do not like XXX (boss) and that is fine, but it's not right to simply leave. All the work you are leaving behind will not fall in his lap, it will be passed down to people like (coworker) with. If you leave with the impression that you will be returning in the fall, they will obviously not take steps to replace you. You will be gone for about 7 months before they realize they could have used that time to find and hire someone else to do the work.
To be honest, I do not really believe you need to wait to see if (DH's) income is sufficient. These are things people think about and plan for before they have a child. It does not make sense to me that you do not even know what your income will look like when you are on maternity leave and beyond. What happens if one month into your mat. leave you realize you guys cannot survive on DH's salary alone? I hope you have thought this through more than the way you presented it to me.
____________
WTF??!?!?!?!?
I am BEYOND pissed... oh and this is all she said- not ..."are you ok" or anything like that! this was one of my BEST friends....
i really have NO idea how to approach this! HELP because i feel like i am gonna be a hormonal, defensive mess on her!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Whoa there!!!!! (LONG VENT)~sorry!
They are required to leave your position open while you are on maternity leave, and it's against the law for them to do anything other than that. End of story. You do not have to give in to their bullying and it's not fair for them to use pressure tactics.
Sorry you are dealing with this.
thanks...
yea it was primarily my boss asking those questions but my friend is getting really defensive about it (and she hasn't worked there in over a year and won't be returning!)... so this is why i am soo upset!
i agree with you that i have PLENTY of time to fig this out and i feel like she is pressuring me! i feel like our friendship is at stake because i am literally gonna flip out on her! they are planning on keeping my position for me (we had discussed this because i was planning on coming back a few months ago before i found out i had to wait another 90 days just to get benefits! i really wanted it for L&D becasue w/ my current grad school health insurance it's gonna be 2k for it when my job could have given me benefits and it would only be $100!
I think kaustin has a good suggestion. Don't discuss this with your friend any more?if you want to remain friends?and that's it.
And you need to speak to HR. They're stringing you along and you should be covered by now. Your pregnancy should not be an issue, since you started the job before you conceived and it should have been activated months ago.
I feel you with the insurance woes (my plan is very restrictive and I'll be paying a lot out of pocket). It's not fun to deal with while dealing with pregnancy issues?and you have a lot on your plate.
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It sounds like you work for a small or semi smaller company-just b/c they didn't have their stuff together regarding the insurance etc. So correct me if I'm wrong on that. But assuming that-if your friend got you the job-or atleast the foot in the door, she is valid for wanting to make sure she doesn't look bad in how you leave the company. Its up to you to make the determination whether or not they were being malicious in not getting you insured when they said you were eligible. We weren't there, obviously. But try not to be so hard on your friend. How you handle this DOES and WILL reflect on her. It might be only fair to tell them that there is the possibilty that you may not be returning in the fall. And if you hate it there-could be a blessing in disguise for you too.
agreed! the only thing i worry about w/ letting my friend know that i plan on coming back in the fall is that i really have NO idea if i am or not and if i end up not coming back she will get mad at me and think i've lied to her! which isnt true! that's y i am trying to be upfront with her! i just wish i never opened my mouth to her because now she just thinks that i am not coming back for revenge! i can't call the future- i dont know what my situation will be! i may get depressed about going back to work and not want to leave the baby! idk! i just wish she at least met me half way on this!
i actually work for a large gov't establishment! that's why this is so hard to digest~ it's a gov't hospital!
i do understand that it will reflect on her in a way but i dont think it will hurt her so badly where they will take it out on her by not giving her contact info to other ppl~ they loved her there! everyone did and if they did that to her then that wouldnt be fair- it's not her fault regarding what i do! it's a totally different situation that what she was in....
You need to talk to your HR dept. ASAP to get the insurance taken care of - ask if they'll back date it if it's a screw up on their part of the health insurance. also talk to them about what your boss has been saying and ask what your rights are - do they have to keep the job open for you? Are you there as a temp? or a full time employee?
the way you leave the company will reflect on your friend and her professional reputation so I'm sure that is why she is concerned. Don't tell her you might not return to work because she might keep in touch with others at your office and this could get back to your boss. Just tell her, as of right now you will be returning and leave it at that.
Since its a bigger company-shame on them for not getting to the insurance issue timely. I agree with above-go to HR immediately before things get worse. But I still think that you need to be considerate of your friend in the end. -as should she of you.