Infertility
Options
Confession Time?
Well, I have one...so here's go. I just got off the phone with the insurance company re: my list of meds getting delivered. There are 10 different meds! ::::big deep sigh::: They are supposed to be delivered Sat. I guess this is my reality check that we are Really doing this.
Anyone else have something to confess?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Confession Time?
I don't think DH is going to get any loving for a long time. ?AF now. ?Stims start tomorrow. ?ER, ET...then if we do get pregnant he can forget it til I feel "safe" and lord knows how long that will be....?
As much as I like being out in the open about IF, I regret the day I mentioned it to anyone at work. I feel like I'm treated differently now and am looked down upon. They made several comments over the last two weeks that are really starting to get to me.
On a lighter note, I'm with PP ... I don't feel like having anything else shoved up my lady parts. Between the HSG, monitoring appts and all the TI lately, I really just want to be left alone. We're supposed to TI tonight but I am so not in the mood thanks to the work situation today. I will do it anyway though.
Granted I know my situation could be worse, so I'm trying to be thankful and not complain.
Awww, that's awesome! My DH would love that.
I'm a little hurt that so many people checked out my new blog and I only got 3 comments. But I'll get over it.
My other confession is that I had DH take me to KFC tonight right after we bought me a new yoga mat for working out.
I hate that I'm not doing anything in terms of fertility treatent. It's very clear from DH's SA and urologist appointments that the only way we can have biological children is via IVF with ICSI. He's not against IVF for any reason, money is not an obstacle because there's mandated coverage in Illinois, but he just breaks down whenever I bring up the subject. My biggest IF-related fear is that his resistance/refusal to pursue treatment will eventfually put a huge wedge between us. Some might think that I am not a very understanding wife and feel that I'm not giving him the time and emotional space he needs to mourn the loss of normal fertility.
IF just sucks. I don't even feel like I'm a player yet and feel jealous of couples who are actively pursuing treatment.
Boy does it feel god to unload that confession.
FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN
FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN
No more frosties
IVF #2. September 2014
PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts
SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN
Not sure where to go from here.
With my lap next week... ?I am sooooo looking forward to some time off. ?And I made sure my boss understood that my RE really wanted me taking a full 2 weeks off... so he better not expect me in too soon (although I plan on going in for half days after the first week off.) But I plan in milking my days off/half days as much as I can LOL
?It also feels kind of nice that he's freaking out about me being gone
It was a nice little ego boost.?
?
?
All I can think of is....that I haven't worked out all week. I really hate working out but I was trying to do it.
Tomorrow is another day and the beginning of the month so I am starting anew.
TTC Related: I have yet to visit my friend who had a baby on March 15th because I just don't think I can bare watching her with her new daughter. I visited her in the hospital the day after the baby was born, but I can't bring myself to visit again. I keep telling her I'll call her when I have a free afternoon.
NTTCR: I'm driving myself crazy waiting for my BFF to ask me to be her Matron of Honor. She just got engaged last weekend and she said they aren't even going to think about planning the wedding for a few weeks, but when I got engaged I asked her when I called to give her the news. I keep over-thinking things and wondering if she's going to ask someone else even though we've been BFFs since we were 4 and we always said we would be each other's MOH.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
my confession: it secretly drives me crazy to visit my SIL's house, because she has two beautiful little girls that she is turning into bratty/disrespectful kids through lack of discipline and poor parenting. it makes me feel guilty every time i leave her house because all i want to do is complain and pick apart her parenting skills (or lack thereof) with DH. makes me jealous, as well...thinking it isn't fair that she gets to have kids while we would be such better parents IMO. wow, that's confession makes me sound pretty b**chy, huh? haha.
My confession - I am going in for my first FET tomorrow. I don't think it's going to work.
But I still looked online at double strollers today. you know, just in case.
Ditto. I keep complaining about my weight but so far, haven't done much about it. Today is May 1st; if nothing else, I will eat healthy and drink a lot of water.
Today I am throwing a surprise baby shower for my boss. I'm not really in the state to be hosting such a party but I'm her only employee in our department for the past 5 1/2 years. She's 8 months along so it's kind of my duty to plan this for her or no one else will. Even though I am happy for her, I truly wish this party were for me.
((sigh)) Selfish I know, but she was the only one who knew about my recent loss and she knows how difficult all this is for me. People come up to her daily congratulating her and look at me and ask, "so when are you planning on starting a family?" Totally not what I need to hear right now. Though I know they are totally clueless to my situation.