Babies: 9 - 12 Months
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would this be rude
DH's cousin is getting married in June. The wedding is out of town, about two hours away in his hometown. Only our names were on the invitation, which per etiquette standards would mean that only DH & I were invited. However, H's aunt had previously mentioned Jack being at the wedding. Should I ask them if DS is invited or just assume from the invitation that he is not. I would hate to drive that far and have H's whole family wonder where DS is, since they haven't all met him. Everyone we know would be at the wedding, so we wouldn't have a sitter there and would most likely have to leave him at home with my family if he didn't go. Also, I intend to still be nursing him at that point. What do you think, should I ask?
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Re: would this be rude
Just take him. He's not going to be a problem, he's not going to eat much, probably won't cost too much at the bar. They can't realistically tell you to take him home. There has to be some kind of understanding especially if you're still BFing.
I don't think it would be rude to ask at all. Always better not to make assumptions. Maybe you should have DH ask if its his family though? Might make it easier.
Good luck!
I would ask to make sure, but it certainly sounds like the family is intending to see him.
I know in my family, it wouldn't be a question. The kids come to weddings. But if there's one thing I've learned being on the Nest, some brides are vehemently anti-child for their BIG SHINING MOMENT!!!!
But we also usually include the kids' names on the invitation, if only to have kids excited to get mail.
My FIL is a blowhard who doesn't care if he is offensive, so I can't take his advice. He'll no doubt say to bring him. If he's not invited we would just make a short trip of it and I would take my pump.
DH doesn't communicate much with his family. I'm the correspondent. Should I ask (email) his aunt or cousin, the groom?
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
I wouldn't just go, and agree that it would be rude to do so. I was just wondering if it would be rude to ask if DS was invited.
I think you should ask, most people would say of course, especially for a nursing child... but I do think it would be rude not to ask.
At my sisters wedding, she did not include children on the invites, and most people did not bring kids, but there was one person who asked to bring a 2 year old. She asked them not to, and provided childcare info (and a caregiver at a local hotel, whom the parents knew) and there was some resentment from this couple, because another couple did bring their child, and never asked or even considered that they might be wrong. The first couple felt bothered by the fact that they were not 'allowed' to bring their kid and someone else was...
I would just be prepared for them to say no and then decide if you are not going to go, or find care.
I dont think its rude to ask since you were given the impression before that he would be invited. Its possible they just forgot his name on the invitation because he's a baby.
I guess you could ask the aunt, but I'd probably ask the groom. I know pp said it puts them in an akward position. But if you're a host for an event and are excluding children, I think you should be prepared to field those types of questions. I think asking the aunt may get you an answer thats not a 100% correct. Do you know if she really has any say or correct knowledge about the wedding? Maybe she thinks kids are fine but the bride doesn't want them there. My parents and in laws had nothing to do with the planning of our wedding so they wouldn't have known the correct answer. I think if you ask the aunt you need to ask her to specifically ask her son to make sure its ok.