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*Bre*
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ok I got a hot topic: death...whose fault?
*Bre*
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A 19 year old drank himself to death at his frat's party on my campus a few months ago. Last week, a 19 year old frosh got drunk and fell off the roof of the girls schol hall. Our alcohol consumption is higher than the national average (twice, I think I remember reading)
The first boy's father has been posting daily on my school newspapers forums about how it is society and KU and the greek systems fault his son died.
He said in a post that the weekend his son moved into the frat, he himself had taken his son to a bar and drank with him.
Whose fault is it that this boy died? Is his father right? Is it university society the Greek system and everyone else's fault by his sons?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ok I got a hot topic: death...whose fault?
Was he being hazed? If not, then technically it's the boy's fault. I mean, hello personal responsibility. However, I think peer pressure and mass party mentality is scary/dangerous and I'm sure it contributed. But I hardly think it's the school's fault or the frat's fault.
I am/was in a sorority and I didn't drink myself to dealth KWIM?
I pledged at a very Greek school and hell week was hell at the frats. But there really wasn't any "forcing" others to drink. Do stupid, harmless stuff, yeah. One kid had to dress like a condom for the week. But I don't remember anyone talking about being forced to drink.
How terrible, the boy's father must be a mess.
I hesistate to lay "blame" on the kid who died just because he can't exactly defend himself to anyone anymore, but I don't think it's the fault of the Greek system or society. Unfortunately college kids act like complete idiots sometimes. Most of them are lucky enough to get out of it alive, but some people get burned, big time.
I do think it would probably be prudent of your school and the Greek system on your campus to work on this issue together. Regardless of whose fault it is, a young man is dead. If there is anything that can be done to prevent this in the future, someone needs to do it.
The same thing happened at MSU when I was there.
I think it's a huge travesty that this continues to happen. I was a part of the greek system, and I do think there are some sketchy things that occur in fraternity houses across this country. I have witnessed it with my own eyes.
I also think it was wrong of the father to take his underage son out for a drink. The drinking age in this country is 21. Some days I feel it should be lowered, and then you hear of a case like this. Maybe 21 isn't so bad after all. (Or maybe you just use those years before you are 21 to build up your tolerance LOL!)
I don't know. I think it is one giant combination of many complicated factors. My heart does ache for this boys family though. No one should have to go through that.
It's the son's fault. We all make choices and he didn't have to drink as much as he did.
Sure, we can blame society, the university, the frat, the dad.....but ultimately nobody forced him to drink that much. He could have walked away. He was 19 years old - at that age he should know what binge drinking does to your body.
Trust me, some schools there is, and those aren't the nights that are "talked" about. But I agree, you can still walk out and leave, but don't ever come back, KWIM?
Edit: adding: this isn't the debate of this post though
Non-greek students drink to much and die at greek or non-greek parties, it is sad and unfortunate for a young life lost and his family.
I feel bad for his family, but it is the boy's fault unless someone forced it down his throat. When I was incollege, a group of 5 of us went frat party hopping for a night. We tried to stop one girl from drinking too much, but she just kept going. She was taken out of our dorm in an ambulance late the morning after. It was her choice-none of the other 5 of us drank too much.
I think that it is the boys fault. In my opinion, saying the boy's unfortunate death was the anyone else's fault but his own would be like me saying that it is my husband's fault that i got pregnant and had a baby. I had the choice of having sex and dealt with the consequences, just like the boy had a choice to drink and, as tragic as it may be, he had to deal with the consequences. unfortunately, the father is the one dealing with the consequences and probably looking for anyone to blame but his son.
I don't know... It's probably a compilation of a lot of people's faults...If it was pledge week or something and there was a ridiculous "drink, pledge!!!!1" thing going on then the frat bears some blame. And whoever kept feeding him more booze when he was CrazyAssPirateDrunk bears some responsibility. And if the dad took his son to a bar at 19 and was like, "Now you shall be a man and drink as men do at my old frat" then there's that... And the kid himself chose to get CrazyAssPirateDrunk so it's on him too.
I wish American college society's attitude towards booze as a whole were different. When I was a freshmen in college people freaked the f*ck out when this one chick made herself dinner and sat down in front of the TV with that and a glass of wine and got caught because she was Drinking Alone. The powers that be held Alcoholism Awareness seminars and everything.
But drinking everclear and koolaid out of a trashcan at dorm parties was a pretty regular occurance. And everyone looked the other way because no one was driving and it was "social."
The whole "get CrazyAssPirateDrunk with your friends OR abstain entirely" attitude towards alcohol is also to blame IMO.
This is SO true.
I also think this boy is largely at fault, but I am not stupid to the fact that I will bet that his fraternity helped this entire thing along. Amongst guys, there is a certain sense of having to belong in a fraternity. If that means you take another shot, then you do it, I guess.
I completely agree that society's view on drinking is...off. If there wasn't this forbidden fruit idea around it, I honestly don't think it would be so widely abused among younger adults. When I studied abroad in Spain the way they thought about booze was very different.
Boy's fault, absolutely (and I'd say even the dad's to some extent..) ?I don't have a 19 year old, but I'd hope that as a parent I'd instill a sense of responsibility around alcohol and teach my child to be careful at parties and to look out for themselves. ?My parents freaked the h*ll out of me (my mom is a dentist) and she would show me pictures of smoker's tongue (don't Google it) and how nasty alcoholic's skin looks like, etc. etc....not saying that's the way to go, but it was effective for me.
I know I'm probably a minority here, but I think the drinking age should be lowered or even done away with entirely...the whole "drinking 21 shots when you turn 21" thing wouldn't be an issue if alcohol wasn't so forbidden. ?I think in the long run, kids would learn at an earlier age (not talking like 5 here, maybe 17 or 18) what their limits are and how to handle themselves responsibly around alcohol...JMHO....
They are pushing for this here, for this exact reason. Now that has been pushed aside because of all of this tragedy. FWIW I think it should be lowered as well. If you can go to college you need to be able to drink responsibly.
ITA. If 18 is adult enough to do freakin' everything else ever, 18 is old enough to have a beer.