and the assumptions have started

Amanda&Chris · April 2009

DD has MMO this morning so while she was there I went to the mall to get some maternity pants and then I went to the food court to get a sandwich before picking her up. The lady at Motherhood asked if I'd been there before to see if I was in the system, I said, "yes, with my last pregnancy." She said, Oh you're second? And when I told her no it was my third, she asked if I had two boys or two girls.

Then the girl who waited on me at the food court was also pg and asked if it was my first. I said, no, my third and she asked the same thing!!! Grr.

Plus, I was talking to a HS friend on FB last night and she asked if #3 was planned.

I hate the assumption that we either wouldn't want three kids or that we would only want three if we were trying for a different gender.

Lea LaJeunesse-Askren · April 2009

Oh I feel you, and I am not even pg yet (well, maybe I am, I just don't know yet!) But everyone assumes it is because we have 2 girls. not because we actually WANT 3 children. I can only imagine how it will be once I am pregnant.

SumnerBride · April 2009

People are so dumb.

I'm already being asked if I'm going to try again for a boy.

xbrooklyngrl · April 2009

People are so stupid with their comments.

We have this Consultant here and his wife is having her scheduled C for #3 tomorrow. They have 2 boys, this one is a girl. In any case, he said to me "I think we're crazy for having THREE of anything!" I thought that was hilarious.

meglew · April 2009

It is annoying when people assume that everyone would want at least one of each and that it would be ideal. In all honesty, I could care less if our next is a boy or girl and would be happy either way.

minnasmommy · April 2009

I've said it before and I'll say it again---a lot of people are just stupid and insensitive. dumb asses! don't let them get to you A. ?they're just jealousE! ?:)

Brewster · April 2009

I'm on the opposite side with everyone telling my how perfect my family is with one boy and one girl. It would have been perfect no matter what. Just about every nurse/attendant that has come to check on me has made that comment. I find it equally annoying/insulting.

Bellisimo · April 2009

Tell me! I took it all in stride this time around, but it was annoying after a while. My favorite was when I was obviously showing and people would start in with all of their worldly wisdom on pregnancy, babies and parenting. I had to finally start interrupting their spiels to inform them that my 2.5 yr old was at home and that I'm not new at this. And then there's the most common comment, "This is your second? Do you have a boy or girl? A boy? Do you know what you're having this time? A girl?!! So you're done, huh? No need to try again." Ummm, I kinda like kids, especially my own, so having a third sounds like another blessing rather than a burden. People are strange!

asianbymarriage · April 2009

Yeah, I have a cousin who has 3 girls, and ppl always talk about it like, "what a shame it is..." It makes me sick. I also hate that ppl are more excited about this baby b/c it's a boy than they would be if it was a girl. I just... hate that. Every child is special and a blessing, I don't care how many of one sex there are. You don't *need* one of every sex to make your life complete.

Amanda&Chris · April 2009

Brewster:
I'm on the opposite side with everyone telling my how perfect my family is with one boy and one girl. It would have been perfect no matter what. Just about every nurse/attendant that has come to check on me has made that comment. I find it equally annoying/insulting.

I got this all the time after Lila too. And it was annoying!

lsufan · April 2009

I hate it when people assume that we're just dying for a girl. ?A lot of people mistake Bennett for a girl, and say "Oh, well it doesn't matter what this one is, since you already have one of each." ?Um, no. ?He's a boy, and it STILL doesn't matter.

Bellisimo · April 2009

The pp's replies reminded me of this article that MH forwarded to me this morning on just this topic:

https://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/30/o.why.didnt.want.girl/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

LeisureSuitLauren · April 2009

Yes, I got a ton of those, "was it planned?" If people actually thought about that one for a second they would realize it's rude. And I also got the, "oh, it's your first?" A LOT, if I was out alone.

akgram · April 2009

I'm not pregnant yet but it annoys me that people think just b/c we have two girls we are only TTC#3 for a boy. I'd be over the moon with another girl and in all honesty it would make it alot cheaper for us. Congrats on #3!!

elm1032004 · April 2009

Brewster:
I'm on the opposite side with everyone telling my how perfect my family is with one boy and one girl. It would have been perfect no matter what. Just about every nurse/attendant that has come to check on me has made that comment. I find it equally annoying/insulting.

I get this all the time too and it's annoying. I only wanted 2 kids but I never cared what they were. What was more annoying then random people having stupid comments were the comments from DH's side (esp MIL) when I found out I was having a second...."Oh will you go for a third if it's another girl, oh you HAVE to have a boy...blah blah blah". I had finally told her if she didn't stop I wouldn't tell her what I was having and I'd give the baby a gender neutral name and dress him/her in white, yellow and green every time she was around.

I'm sorry they are giving you a hard time.

jessicaclare · April 2009

I'm already getting the "Oh, you two must really be hoping its a boy!". Actually, no, we'll be happy with whatever we have. My pregnancy hormones make me want to slap them. Or maybe its just the fact that I'm a total b!tch that does that.

JenninMA · April 2009

Brewster:
I'm on the opposite side with everyone telling my how perfect my family is with one boy and one girl. It would have been perfect no matter what. Just about every nurse/attendant that has come to check on me has made that comment. I find it equally annoying/insulting.

I've gotten that comment too since we're expecting a boy and it pissed me off. Like my family would have sucked if it had been another girl?? Or somehow we're so much happier with one of each than we could have possibly been with two kids of the same gender? People are weird.

Amanda&Chris · April 2009

Bellisimo:

The pp's replies reminded me of this article that MH forwarded to me this morning on just this topic:

https://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/30/o.why.didnt.want.girl/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

That is a really good article! Thanks.

SpartanGirl · April 2009

I get this all the time too! After DS was born SO many people told me that I "could be done now" since I had one of each. Wtf? Is it really that absurd to want more than 2 kids?

The comments on this pregnancy are just out of line too. I've had people say "are you sure you really want that?" ???? People can be so rude sometimes.

asianbymarriage · April 2009

Oh! Omg, I had to post again since I just remembered this: I once had a coworker/manager who stood by my desk and for 15 minutes gave me a speech on how ppl should only have 2 children and after that it's selfish and irresponsible, b/c the globe is already so overpopulated, blah, blah... of course, she herself had 2 and stopped. DH and I are pretty sure our magic # is 3, so I had to just sit and listen to her spew that bull...

Ciarrai · April 2009

I am so not looking forward to these types of comments. Personally, if I were given a choice, I'd love another girl. Boys scare me. I'm sure we'd love to have a boy too. We've always talked about having at least 3 kids. So we hope to have three. I hate how everyone assumes that you're "trying" for a sex. We got all the comments before and after we found out DD#2 was another girl.

reynah · April 2009

I have been asked numerious times when am I going to try for a girl..... get's on my damn nerves.

Jodi&Joe · April 2009

I'm not offended/annoyed by any of it. Actually, I think one boy and one girl is pretty damn ideal so it makes sense to get such comments. Sure, not EVERYONE'S ideal --- but the fact of the matter is, most people DO find it ideal. Nothing offensive about it. Just the way it is.

emiliemadison · April 2009

I hate the assumption that people with 2 of the same must want another of the opposite. Or that if you have two of different genders that you must be done. I'm the oldest of 5. The first 4 are girls and the youngest is a boy. People were SO rude saying "You FINALLY got your boy!!". Ironicaly, my brother was an oopsie baby AND my parents had both wanted girls

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