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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
stormi glam
member
long vent dont read just needed to get it out
stormi glam
member
i am aware that i gave birth 5 days ago i dont need to be reminded to take it easy and it will get better give it time bla bla bla these are things i already know.
we moved to maryland 4 months ago? something like that im from oregon. i dont know any here i dont have any firends. But DH works and has firends and hangs out with people. I didnt borhter finding work who wants to hire a 7 month(at the time) pregnant girl? not to mention he works nights so I feel like i never see him.
I do all the cleaning and laundry and i wake him up for work with lunch already made. It just didnt seem fare and i know it takes time to meet people.
flash forward. Now that this baby is born ALL his fmaily wants to come here. we have a SMALL house i mean tiny, not only that but our dog had puppies the same same time i had DD so its even more stressful. Really give me a break I saw them 2 months ago. i know having a baby is a huge deal for a family and it really makes me happy that theyre so excited about it. but i didnt want anyone coming for at least the 1st month i would like to recover and get the hang of things. most people like having family come to help out but i think in my case it would be better for everyone if they just waited till i was ready. DH and i talked about it and hes fine with it. Now everything has changed and its only adding to the frustration. his mom is coming and NOBODY bothered to tell me WTF?! thanks for the heads up. im so pissed. You dont think my mom is dying to come see her? shes waiting shes repecting what i want. dont get me wrong i do love my MIL i just wanted to be able to hang out and go places show them around DC and now have to worry about being in pain or all the little things you worry about when you JUST GAVE BIRTH
give me a break let me spend time with my DH who surprizingly got time off from work to help out ( not that he really does..i shouldnt say that) he still stays up at night which is wonderful cuz then i have time to sleep at night but he has his friend come over and i love this friend were actually making him her godfather but really DH? you cant dpend time with your new fmaily? the only time he helped me out around the house was the 1st day home from the hospital hwen i broke down and said i couldnt live like this. the house was trashed which i knew....i mean stella had her puppies (16 of them!!!!...sadly only 10 made it) in the corner of the living room. the dishes werent done the laundry was piled up our house mselled like nasty new puppy and they whine more than DD does and theres more of them!
Im a neat freak I cant live in a house like this. I dont want his friends coming over. I dont want his fmaily to come (yet anyway) I dont want people to stop by without calling first its embarassing trying to get the hang of breast feeding when you have people knocking on your door and they want to stay and talk forever while DH is screaming becasue shes hungry and im leaking through my shirt and I dont want to be mean and ask them to leave becasue they brought us some amazing food.
I just need some time please thats really all im asking for. DH does help me a lot and he is amazing with DD i love them together. Im just venting about all the bad things. I just need to get a job and make some freinds and get out of the house....but now I never want to leave DD.
Im just frustrated and needed to vent thanks
This discussion has been closed.
Re: long vent dont read just needed to get it out
You know you can't post and not expect us to read it, especially if you post Don't Read.
It can be so hard with a new one at home. It takes time to adjust, and it is even harder to do so when many people intrude on your environment. I just want to you know you are not alone. At All!
As a new mother it is important to set your limits and boundries. Sit down with your DH, it is important that the two of you are on the same page.
Congrats on your LO.
I totally understand where you're coming from on the people visiting front. I faced the same issues with my MIL insisting on being around when I least wanted visitors. Like you, my own mother was super anxious to see DD, but she waited until I was ready to have people over.
Talk it out with DH. He needs to respect your wishes and ask his side of the family to back off for a bit. If he doesn't or isn't willing, explain to him that you'll end up having to be the one to say something. He has to see that you confronting your MIL would not be good for long term relations, so hopefully he steps up to the plate to support you. You're right - you need time to bond with your new family unit, just you and your DH.
I'm sorry. I can't get past the dog having puppies in the house while you were gone. You didn't know she was going to have them soon? You didn't get her spayed ages ago?
well when youve spent the first two years of your marriage part because of deployments and being stationed over seas and working 40+ hours a week and then having to relocate across the country away from everyone trying to get settled in a new house when we had stuff coming from all over the world and still dont have all of it unpacked and not having a job now and him working all the time not to mention getting a dog fixed is expensive yes we should of done it a long time ago, but things come up that you dont expect and you just deal with the hand your given.