When do I relent? — The Bump
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When do I relent?

So we've been having BIG issues with Ben not listening and testing and all things that normal 2 year olds do.  Today, I'm putting my foot down.  He dumped the dog food all over the floor and I told him to pick it up or go to time out.  He refuses to pick it up.  I give him a chance, if he doesn't he goes back to time out.

We've been at it for about 45 minutes now.  So do I relent?  Or do I hold my ground and break his teeny tiny spirit, one timeout at a time?

Part of me feels HE KNOWS.  It's simple.  All he has to do is pick up the food and it's over.  He's making it worse than it is, and we need to really put the squash on the not listening business because it's dangerous (running away when i tell him to come, etc).  And part of me feels like - okay, we've gone long enough...

Just pick up the food kid and we can get on about our day!!!  You're just making it worse!

Re: When do I relent?

  • I have no idea, but I'm sorry you're dealing with this!  I'm not looking forward to this.  Liam is already quite stubborn so I'm sure I will be feeling your pain soon.
    Rachel & Bill 9-10-05, Liam Andrew born 5-30-08 (formerly lakebride05)
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  • If eel your pain.. I'm not sure I'd relent b/c it sounds like you are having some issues with this... assuming he had enough sleep and is not tired or feeling bad I wouldn't relent. 

    I take it you've already done the you know why you are in time out talk with him? 
    Have you tried the if you start cleaning it up, I can help you but you have to ask me?
    Have you given him the talk about that's Jake and Peanuts food and they don't like to eat it off the floor and it is not nice to take their food, they don't spill your food. Now let's clean this up Mr.

    Not much help I'm sure.. just stand your ground and go with your gut-- you do a great job disciplining Ben and he is just pushing your buttons and testing you. 

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  • I asked him why he's in time out.  He tells me.  I ask him if he's ready to clean it up, and he says Nope.

    If I can get him to start cleaning it up, I'll help him, but he either makes it worse, or picks up one kibble holds it in his hand, looks at me and then throws it on the floor.  He's totally pushing buttons, which makes me think I shouldn't relent.  But at the same time, we're going on an hour now.

    Little jerk.

  • I have no experience, but based on what you said, I think you should stand firm.  If you relent, he'll remember that next time.  I like coach's idea of helping him clean it up if he asks.  That just seems like it might work.  IDK, but I'm so sorry! 
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  • Yeah, I don't think I'd relent on that one.  I foresee many, many, many days like that ahead of me b/c Nate is VERY strong-willed.... but so am I, which is why I probably wouldn't relent.

    I do wonder if you could do a time out, take a break from the whole situation (like go read a book), then come back and try again.  Maybe it would give you both the opportunity to cool down for a moment.  IDK.  I have no idea how I'd handle that.

  • Are there any tears involved in this process? The only reason I ask is sometimes when we get to this point I'll say.. let'sgo wash your face off get it together and then you can clean it up.

    Can you take anything away from him..do you have any special plans today? Something along the lines if you don't clean it up right now we are not going to XYZ. 

  • We finally got it.

    I told him we were going downstairs to pick up Jake's food and that mommy would help if he could show me how.  He started to do it and needed a little coaxing but overall we got it done.

    SHEESH!  My head is going to explode now!

  • Yeah for Ben! And mommy too! Remember it's 5 o'clock somewhere Wink
  • Good job!  Hopefully next time he'll remember that you didn't give in and it won't be such an ordeal.  Hopefully.
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  • Glad he finally came around!  Good job Mom!

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  • As much as it stinks, I would not relent, but I would consider another punishment instead of timeout. ? Escalate the punishment - taking away something he enjoys, etc. ?I don't know if he is at the age yet where that would have an effect (DD is not yet - she just is like whatever and goes and finds?something?else). ?I am guessing relenting is what he is trying to get you to do if he knows what he is doing. ?I feel the same way with DD sometimes and I tell her too - if you would just do what Mommy says, this would go by so much quicker.
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